IF ONLY...


History will never know your name,
Perhaps they’ll call me insane,
Because I know all these poems are in vain.
You’ll never read this,
But it’s always been true,
Since the very first day I saw you.

You were one of my first crushes,
Perhaps, actually I guess I still have a crush on you,
Funniest thing though, is you never knew.

I thought if I dated another
I’d just forget about you.
If only I knew what I know now;
Then I would taken the dive and asked you,
Lol, no, actually not, I wouldn’t have:
You always had someone there to hold you,
Always someone there to care for,
Someone who was willing to give their life to you.

But there I was, on the side,
Smiling, and admiring, from my humble little abide,
At first I don’t think you even knew I existed,
But later you came to call me your friend,
And from the side, I watched you smile,
I saw you upset,
I saw how deeply people came to hurt you,
And yet I couldn’t help but see how much you cared;

But if the truth be told,
At best I knew you as an acquaintance,
At best I wanted to help you,
But truly, I’m glad to have met you.

I still remember your smile
Because when you smiled, so did I,
I still remember the times when you cried,
I didn’t see you, but I could feel it from deep inside
And that’s when I tried to offer a helping hand,

But the one thing you never saw was that hand,
All I was another guy,
Just a friend of a friend,
And perhaps the guy to go to for a little help with the computer;

But never was I more,
And never will I be,
Because chances are I’ll never see you again,
Except perhaps when I dream.

And so it hits me,
All the poems I’ve ever written
Have actually been written for you,
It just took me too long to find out how I truly felt about you,
Because if truth be told,
Long long ago, I happened to fall for you,
Before I ever said “hello” or “goodbye”
But the sad thing is, you’ll never have been mine…

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

This poem was inspired by a girl I've had a crush on for many years. Chances are I won't speak or see her again unless I arrange it, which I don't think I will. So who knows, maybe she will read this and recognise the name I once told her I went by.

thanks, I haven't seen her in 3 months really, although I am contemplating organising a meeting sometime soon. Although I seriously doubt that anything will come of it. Just the ghost of a feeling.

I read that link of yours and yes, I can relate fully, so it was very sucessful in what it did. It got the reader to feel the writers emotion, absolutely brilliant. So I congradulate you on that excellent bit of writing.

3 months is nothing in a timeline of destiny.

Do not give up-do all you can-she is worth it.

I don't know who she is, but if she affects you like this-she is worth the effort and risk, right?

Perhaps you had to mature to be what she needs, or she needed to mature to appreciate you.

Perhaps it never was the time, perhaps it is now....perhaps it will be...soon...or later.

Give her yourself, you've already given her your heart. Make the contact, reach out... to remind her, you are still in her life-and want to be. You miss her...how can she not want or like to know that from a guy?

Worse case scenereo, you still get to love her as a friend if not a lover...for now

[edit on 4-5-2006 by think2much]