Dump him?

Well as far as opinions go, ifigure ill just add mine here. As far as the new friend goes when the grass is looking greener on the other side of the fence maybe its time to go out and do the yard work. the easiest thing in the world is turn your back on your situation. the real issue here is the matter of you being pushed or shoved because it could have been just a stupid immature action or could be the start of a progressing pattern and unfortunately it is up to you to decide which it is after a year and ahalf you should be able tell that one on your own. his hygenine issues could easily stem from his own unhappiness, it may be something your doing differently or the way you are making him feel, it could be environmental, or it could simply be hes just a lazy slob who put on a really good act, the good news two of the three are resolveable.

Seeing as your actually in a relationship even if you do decide to pursue a relationship with this other guy, it would do you good to wait a while to do so. more than likely you will not have given yourself proper time to heal from the previous relationship and not have evaluted what went wrong there, all to often people do this you should never make an emotional decision without weighing the possible consequences of those decisions because your emotions are not a stable platform from which to makethem they are fluid and subject to change at a whim. just my thoughts.

Maybe straying a bit off topic, but how long do you think is a good time to wait before a woman were to make a move and start a new relationship with the 'other guy'? I know you can't predict how long she will take to heal from the previous relationship but the longer she leaves it the more the 'other guy' feels like he is 'just a friend'.

My personal opinion, its an unknown as there are many variables to it, there is an issue of how long they were together conventional wisdom has it at about half the time you were together, to how long she felt she was done to begin with, the level of attraction to the other party, how much of a doormat you have already become to her and in your side of it how comfortable you are with the possibility of being the rebound guy. to just how you fit in the puzzle itself if its a friend of yours girl then your just setting yourself up for trouble if you move in to soon, and how she feels in relation to that as well. having been in those types of situations before from personal experience i can tell you i would just back off and pursue something else until the smoke clears and have had a chance to settle down, if its right and meant to be it will happen without you rushing into it and you will know.

Originally posted by Jovi1
...how much of a doormat you have already become to her...

That's the one that hurts. True though...

Sleep with your friend till he either straightens up, or catches you. Either way, you win.

I would definitely talk seriously to the guy. A while ago my girlfriend and I had a talk about some things and she said I'd changed a lot since we met. Looking at it I saw this was true. It turned out I was in something of a depression at the time, which was making me act like a different person.

It took a lot of talking but we got things fixed up and now we're just as happy as ever. So, I can't advise you with anything specific, but you should definitely talk to your boyfriend about this, and let him know it's serious. If he changes for you, keep him. If he insists on being sloppy even after he knows how you feel about it, that's the time to move on.

I say dump him and go out with me! I'll make you forget all about him...trust me.

I don't want to sound like I'm negative or anything here. But... Could your man be depressed? Maybe... Just maybe... You need to look at yourself. Have you changed at all during this relationship? Changed in a way maybe he doesn't like? Why is it always the guys fault? Just trying to through a wrench into your way of thinking. Only because I've seen this same situation in friends relationships many times. You two need to sit down and talk things out "thoroughly."

And... time for the cynic... Of course your friend is nice to you. He might just want to get in your pants! Yes... Men treat women nicely sometimes just for that reason.

I wonder how this worked out? It seems JustAnIllusion has randomly stopped posting.

So, what did you decide to do?

There is NO excuse for anyone to hit! If it happens one time, leave. It can only get worse. The abuser always has an excuse! Believe me, I know of what I speak.

If you are even looking at someone else and thinking of them in a romantic way, there is something seriously wrong with your relationship. You can not feel obligated to someone because they do nice things for you if that is the only reason you are staying with that person. Don't waste either one of your time acting like that. Life is too short to be emotionally tied to someone.