Anyone ever loved a bi-polar woman? Any problems?

What should I do? Stay with her? I do truly love her and care about her, but it's kinda driving me crazy. On top of that she drinks alot, well not every day, but it's just when she does drink, I think it stops her medicine from working, and she gets a little cranky. Sometimes it seems like im dealing with 5 different women

I can't tell you what to do, but my ex fiance was bi-polar and she was an alcoholic. She had serious issues to put it mildly. When she was on the high end of the BP and sober she was the absolute sweetest, kindest, most beautiful, loving girl in the world. When she hit bottom and started drinking she was like Lucifer himself, very violent, uncontrollable, very mean and hateful and very self destructive. I loved her so much, but after almost five years of dealing with it I had to cut her loose. I spent a lot of time and emotion and energy in trying to help her, even at the cost of my own sanity, but in the end I realized that you can't help anyone who doesn't want to help themselves. It may sound mean or insensitive to say, but if I were you I would run like hell and never look back. It will only cause you misery in the end.

Bi polar is a terrible affliction...

As sad as i am to say...
you need to find someone else...
Bi polars come in many flavors, but if you already see problems, they dont get "better" they get worse...

If she quit drinking & If you both get immediate relationship counseling, and have "rules" established so that you are not left clueless at every turn, then you might have a half a chance...
but still a long uphill climb...

Your original post looks just like something i would have written several years ago... I feel for you greatly... I have been there...

I wish someone would have told me what i told you...

Love is... and sometimes love was...
good luck, and best wishes...

on an extremely funny note... wouldn't it be hilarious if we found out that our Bi polar ex's were all the same gal? (because they sure do sound the same)...


[edit on 27-3-2006 by LazarusTheLong]

A few houres ageo my girl friend and I had another one of theese "problems" as i refer to them....she got all upset at me for nothing...we went for a walk went back to her house and she got all mad for nothing she was quiet then sat on the staires and was mad at me i asked wuts wrong wut did i do she says she dont like me she dident say why or wut the reasion was...she told me to leave i was so confused as to wut i did.Normaley afaer a few mins shes normal agen and says sorry and tells me she loves me....its onley matter of whateign a few mins..well she kept telling me to leave and i was a bit worryed that maybe this time would eb one of them times where it takes her little longer to stop being mad..

So i got my coat and gloves opend the door and walked out...thats a first time....i never usaley do that..normlaye sit in the corner or somthign with my head down and just try not to be mad....i dont know wut came over me.i walked out and got to the end of her lawn..then she came out....i was going to sit by the fence and just stay there for who nos how long...but she came out and called me back..she said she was sorry and dident mean it then huged me and started to cry...i was happy she wasent mad but sad cuz she was crying....she said she dident want to loose me and she loves me and dident no why she was mad..... well to make a long story short i told her it was allright and i wasent goign to elave her i went out side cuz she told me to leave i told her i wasent going to go home just sit by the fence..... she really worrys me when this happons.....but everythings fine now...well im still little uneasy about wut she said....im goign to asume this is simler to wut you are talking about.

Tomorrow she has a docter appointment and wants me to go with her i would really like it if anyone could give me more infomation on this "bi-polar"....i want to talk to ehr docter about it see if there is medication how common it is to ahve this...i would really like to have more info about this so i can ask...then i will report back hear to explaine wut i was told.

lol if anyones gonna give me info has to be befor 12 lunch time tomorrow..thanks

lol ok he told u to make another appointment to talk aboutit...dam doctors...he said its not that common tho...but with right medication can be helped...o i gue we make an apponitment then perhaps i will have more usefull info

Seriously...
be careful...
Has she ever threatened to hurt herself, or others?
If so, then you need to run, not walk, but run, and change your numbers, and maybe move to another state...

Bi polar can commonly associate with other mental problems, and emotional disturbances... (usually related to guilt for previous actions)
it sounds like there is more than just Bi polar here..

and you did right, by walking out... I know it hurt, but it would hurt more, if you allowed yourself to be tugged back in... (you have to always have that right)

You have to keep your own mental health as top priority, and take it from one who knows... it will be challenged...
read books on codependancy, and keep aware of the warning signs...

the last thing you want to do, would be: have a codependant relationship with an unstable bi polar personality...

Some more tips;
she hates herself, and hates what she does to others, which causes her to doubt that you can love her...
she will break up, largely to keep you from doing it...(when she fears you will)

manipulation is usually associated with Bi polar people...
do you ever feel like you are being "played" or that she trys to make you feel guilty,or feel sorry for her?

hope that helps...
I still think that bi polar people need to NOT be in a relationship, until they have stabilized with medication... it isn't fair for those that love them.
good luck, and best wishes

No she hasent thretend to hert anyone or thing that i can recall....so do you think from wut i have said that my girl friend is allso bi-polar???

I undertsand i have to keep mysleff awear and "understand/notice warning sighs" i belive the strongest thing about me is my mind.....i can see and understand things that to me others cant or dont see.....i feel bad about walking out tho i never do....she gets over it afater a few mins....

I dont really fell like she "plays me" or anything....once and a while i fell like like she "may" be trying to get to feel sorry for her for somthing...but its normaley nothing important and i dont really think about it much.....she is a little slow tho....and has hard time paying attion to things.....i no shes not pretending to be slow or anything.It dose take her a bit more time to understand something or i have to explaine it a cupple times..(im not saying shes retarded shes not!!) i like this about her..her slowness...sometimes frustrateing tho but i like it

Its just once and while she will get mad and take it out on me...but i understand she doent really have many people to take it out on seeing im around her more then her own parents lol.

The docter said she can make an appointment to talk about bi-polar and i highley recomend to her she dose.....this could be a good time to get help with it if she dose have it...befor oneday it gets worse...but i explained all this to her and i let her read this thred.She agrees that she maye be bi-polar and she understanding about it and wants to talk to docter about it.... i hope we can get this looked at...he is co-opretive and i like that she can reconize this.

one more thing...doe this affect more or less sertin ages?? doe it even matter? my girlfriend is onley 16...i really dont think its one of them growing up things where a person is not sure about life blah blah blah the crap parents say...i think and she dose she has bi-polar.

sry forbad spelling

...we had another problem agen just a little while ageo.....look guys im really sorry that i keep going off topic a bit...i just...dont really know who to talk to about thi stuff and you guys can read this and offer advise at anytime...i dont really know who to talk to....this is so complecated

This time it was weird....wasent really all her falt tho..i understand...alot has happond in the last while and hes really really stressed out and upset...her step mom is really mad at her...and to make matters worse her step mom allways drinks and takes it out on her

My girlfriend is really upset i mean shes worryed about her step mom abuseing her like hitting her or somthing and im worryed to...her father is gone for the weekend and when hes not there her step mom drinks more and takes it out on my poor girlfriend

we talked about it todayhow she has the symptoms of bi-polar based on wut i have lerned from this post...she agrees with me she needs to talk to a docter this is getting a little worse and its worrying me alot more.....she was really upset a while ageo and started talking about herting hersleff....this really bugs me..she was crying and was telling me she cant take the stress and her step mom being so hard on her and she was talking about killing hersleff....this is probley the first time i have herd her say it.....it REALLY!! scared me....she kept asking me to forgive her for it and not to be upset...i was really worryed she might do it....i'll be honet and dont laugh at me..i started to cry a bit....like tears fell down my cheek...i told her not to talk about it and we would get her help and talk to docters and school counslers.

The she told me monday she could talk to the school counsler....i was happy to hear her say monday....that reasherd me everythig would be ok till then......she told me she needs to talk to a docter about this bi-polar and see if we can get her medication to help her....

i really hope we can get her some help medicaley and threrw some counsleing......befor she met me she never used to pray at all...but i have managed to get her intrested in religon..well at least the idea there is a god and you got nothing to loose fromtalking to him when ur alone or scared.....im happy thi is one of the biggest thing i have got her to realize is prayer....this might sound stupid to some of you but im being honest....i worry about her so much and she worrys to..i love her with every bit of my heart and life!....this is onley a small problem in our relationship as i see it...we will make our way over this hill and be ready for wut ever the other side has to throw at us...(to be frank about it).....if anyone at all has any advise or anything that might be helpfull i would be very thank full.....if anyone could tell me more about wut exactley medication doe for the bi-polar that would be nice thanks and sry for bad spelling

I had a similar experience with a bipolar alchoholic woman.
She was a good woman but could not stay on her meds and could not stop drinking.
She was killed while on a drinking binge 7 years ago due to impaired judgment.
She was one of my best friends.
I would hope and pray your friend finds a another path!!

Yeah you really can't understand the hell that follows being in a relationship with a depressive, unstable woman. Like I said before, my ex was an alcoholic and eventually I found out when she was younger she was one of those people who cut themselves because they cant stand the pain that they are in. That in itself should have been a red flag to get the hell out of Dodge, but I didn't.

It was very tragic and I loved her as best I could, but I couldn't save her from herself. One instance she got really drunk and tried to attack me with a knife. Once she tried to beat my car with a chain. She had 2 DUI's on her record and had spent a month in jail. Her family had a lot of money and they would just give her whatever she wanted so they wouldn't have to deal with her. It was sad but I knew she would never get better.

She did good for about six months, I would go with her to AA meetings and do anything I could to make her feel loved. Then as soon as something happened that she couldn't handle it was back to the drinking and madness. One night she called me up on the phone and she was drunk and angry with her father. I said one thing she didn't want to hear and the next thing I know she is on her cell phone telling me she want's to die and that she is about to turn onto the freeway going the wrong direction so that she could crash into someone and kill herself. That was the most terrifying thing I ever had to deal with, and not long after I just completely cut her loose and I left town and didn't leave any forwarding address if you know what I mean.

It was all very unhealthy, but you can't be responsible for someone elses actions. They will do what they do wheather you are there or not. Only difference is they will ruin your life as well as their own. She and I were together for four years, engaged for two. That whole experience made me shun women and relationships for a long time. Im doing great these days, moved om with my life. Last I heard she was still alive and doing whatever. I don't even want to know. So now you know how bad it CAN get. Good luck

Originally posted by StephenR
if anyone could tell me more about wut exactley medication doe for the bi-polar that would be nice thanks and sry for bad spelling

Stephen, the only person who can explain how this type of medication works is a Doctor.

- Your relationship will never work as long as she doesn't take her
problem seriously. As long as she's drinking and not taking her meds
then she isn't in a position to have a relationship with anyone.

- She has to straighten out her life before she can muck around with
yours. And that's what will happen ... muck around.

- I question you, being so young, having a serious sexual relationship
with a woman who is so much older than you. I think you probably
have issues that need to be explored with a professional.

- Also, as a previous poster said, you are so very young and YOU are
going to have many life changes in the next few years.

Send her to back to her doctor. You need to get on with your life
elsewhere, at least for a few years until you are more mature and
have more life experience.

This is not your partner for life. Move on and explore, with a
professional, why you thought it was.

man this sucks.....i honetley wish i could curl up in a corner and die.......i wish it would happon.....wish god would jut ripe my freggin sole out! distroy the rest of it why dont he!!

or maybe he rather watch me be sad and hert! maybe he dont even fregginlike me! maybe i should just step in front of a bus! maybe the world would be better off.......im sick of theese stupided problems being hert by people who say there care but dont! if i could kill every person on this earth i would do so in a second! so that no one ever has to worry about anything agen!

im sorry i dont no wut else to say.....

mod edit: censor circumvention

[edit on 7-4-2006 by sanctum]

Uhhh, dude...

A relationship with a BP person requires that you have a very strong control over your emotions... but from the looks of it you're becoming too affected by her problems, and in turn this can make her problems even worse. Do both you and her a favor and move on. This is not healthy.

Ditto
That last post was from her wasn't it?
if not, you need out, NOW!

It sounds like you like to be needed, and beleive me, you are not only needed in this relationship, but expected...

that is bad

You (stephen): need to get help, I suggest a Christian counselor... or maybe a good friend that can "shoot straight to ya"

You (girlfreind) need to realize, that much of that "brain cloud" that you feel when upset, is a direct result of an abnormal chemical reaction that causes "very bad days".
Bi polar is often misdiagnosed, so you might not be "bi polar" but clinically depressed, or emotional disturbed instead... makes little differance at this point. you need medical help.
A "mental" drug will help normalize levels of naturally occuring chemicals and hormones in your body.
It isn't really drugging you to be happy, but rather just adjusting incorrect levels of these chemicals to be where they need to be. It is correcting an incorrect thing... nothing more, nothing less...

It is the same thing, if you realize you have a vitamin defeciency, you take vitamins, or you suffer...

right now, you are suffering...
You also need to think about calling DHS (or other appropriate child/teen protective agency), if your step mom hits you... they would get you out of the home, and into Volunteer counseling programs, that could really help, or go hide at a friends.

good luck to both of you.

nah...i havent dated a bipolar girl...but i did date a stalker...she stopped stalking me...i passed her off to someone else...lol.

sorry in advance! but fer #es sake! You are only 19 and in a relationship with a 35 year old women??? Tell me, was she hanging around the highschool gate??????????? or pleeeaaaaaaseee no...not yer school teacher?

Regardless of her medical condition...what are you doing with someone 16 years older than you? Go out and get yourself a girlfriend your own age.

& whats more she being 35 should bloody (Aussie oi oi oi) know better!

Do you have a good relationship with your Mother?

LazarusTheLong....no the last post was from me...things are just really getting to me latley....we are takeing a "break"for week or 2 its to help her releave stress and she says it will help our relationship....personley all its doing to me is herting me and makeing me hert mysleff and worry...she says it will be all better soon but i dont belive it,im scared.

She dose read this i think it will help her to understand this more o he reads wut we talk about hasent red wut i said yet tho.i think alot of the reasions my girlfriend has problems like this is because of her famley and how she lives with them treating her (mean) in my opinion.

I wont leave her and i will not move on....i refuse with every last breth to give up or to accept this willnot work...it will work and it can she just needs to no she needs medical help....and i no i do aswell....i noticed i needed medical help long time ageo i just tryed to controll it....i see a counsler sometimes...he helps a bit...i explaine to him how i fell i might be depressed i explaine my anger to him and my hatride for the world ( as i see it)...i talk to him openley about my intrest in homemade explosives and how i build weapons and bombs in my house to protect me when the onley person i have to protect mysleff from is me....

I belive 100% my girl friend is bi-polar....and i will not just let her go and let her go on in life and struggel and mess up...i love her! and love isent a word you say love is somthing special! and to me it is never giveing up! and i will never give up on her! i will help her and be there for her!.

I honestley belive that i will never forgive God or anyone! if i cant be with her.....i cant explaine it but i belive we where ment for eachother and she no's it to...she just has alot of truble with her feelings and stuff....thi break has been so hard on me...i keep thinking of herting mysleff and i cut up my ankel witha knife a few times....been considering shooting my pellet gun threw the side of myleg..just to take my mind off this....i no i need help i no i have problems i dont no who to turn to...i few days ageo i considerd mixing wut chlorine and amonya i got left togeather in a bottle and letting it go in my room in front of me....(its a type of homemade mustard gas..there are other ways to)...i really thought of it...it scares me...i hope everything will be good and work out like he say but i no wee need help

This comeing sunday for the firt time we are going to go to church togeather im really happy and looking forword to that i fell it could help...i would like to talk to the priest about our problem and see wut advise he can offer i hope it go's good

why do u sugest a "Christian counselor" wut diffront about them?

sorry for bad spelling

[edit on 6-4-2006 by StephenR]

Textwell, having personal experience with the depressive side of the bi-polar swing I would just say this: your friend needs to stop drinking, especially as this caneffect psychotropic drugs.

yep..definatley good advice. Having lived with someone suffering from depression and mood swings i can honestley say that stopping drinking alcohol works wonders. If she's not willing to make this small sacrifice for you i suggest moving on, no matter how hard it seems mate.

good luck.

The main reason I suggest a christian couselor is due to covering all the bases...
You seem to be going thru a mixture of depression and teenage aingst...
Both are very temporary... and both get better with time if addressed...

Christian counselors are more earnest and honest to deal with IMO...

Nothing against non Christian ones, but they seem to be more about charging per hour, than recovery...

They need medication.

I broke it off since she was a manipulative, controlling $#@!#.

Good luck.