Having sex? Make sure you register with the state.

Unwed Fathers Fight for Babies Placed for Adoption by Mothers

Jeremiah Clayton Jones discovered that his former fiancée was pregnant just three weeks before the baby was due, when an adoption-agency lawyer called and asked if he would consent to have his baby adopted.

"I said absolutely not," said Mr. Jones, a 23-year-old Arizona man who met his ex-fiancée at Pensacola Christian College in Florida. "It was an awkward moment, hearing for the first time that I would be a father, and then right away being told, 'We want to take your kid away.' But I knew that if I was having a baby, I wanted that baby."

Mr. Jones has never seen his son, now 18 months old. Instead, he lost his parental rights because of his failure to file with a state registry for unwed fathers — something he learned of only after it was too late.

When I ran across this article, my jaw hit the ground...

While the article says that roughly 30 states have this requirement, I was only able to easily find information on 23 of them. NATIONAL DIRECTORY OF PUTATIVE FATHER REGISTRIES

The original article continues:

While about 30 states now have registries, they vary widely. In some, fathers must actually claim paternity; in others, just the possibility of paternity. The deadlines may be 5 days after birth or 30, or any time before an adoption petition is filed.

...

In many states, fewer than 100 men register each year — not surprising, adoption experts say, because most young men have never heard of the registries.

...

Even for registered men, the system is flawed. Because the registries are state by state, a registration means nothing if the father or mother has moved — or if the baby was surrendered for adoption in a different state specifically to avoid a challenge.

This is simply appalling.

Who knew? I certainly didn't....

I think it's deplorable how there is a presumption that fathers are inferior in this country...

What an outrage!

Originally posted by loam



I think it's deplorable how there is a presumption that fathers are inferior in this country...

Unfortunately, I deal with this subject on a daily basis since I work in the legal field. In most states, under the law, the unwed mother has full and total control of the child and the unwed father had no rights whatsoever. The mother could be a total crackhead and the father could be a choir boy.....she still has all the cards.

On the flip side, most states have long, drawn out procedures for adoption and the mother is REQUIRED to notify anyone who she thinks may be the father. If a father objects to the adoption, then it's a simple process to declare yourself the legal father and all the joys/rights that holds.

This registry was created, in most part, so that the states are not left holding the bag for "monetary assistance" to the child.

what an abomination...

is there anything we can do without registering these days? well i suppose that depends.

but i wonder if the basis of registering something provides the state and its agencies jurisdiction to have a say towards said issue? and if so, is it vice versa? if so, then it would explain why this man needed to register as an unwed father to have a say in this matter, based on that the child was probably also registered with the state via statement of live birth, and birth certificate, to recieve whatever benefits the government says it will provide for doing so.

i believe this works with any property people own, like cars, houses, etc. so if it isn't registered, what gives them right/jurisdiction to lay claim on anything? if the child was not registered in any way, could the state have legal say on anything? do we have the right to withhold registry and if not, why not?

so many questions.... what do people think about any of this?

This is so sad I just can't seem to think of anything to say about it. I can't imagine how violated the men who never have a chance to know their children feel. It's really something that needs to be done differently. Both parents should have to approve an adoption.

The father was not given the choice to raise his child himself?

Edit to add: OK, we have unwed mothers, what's wrong with unwed fathers?


[edit on 19-3-2006 by intrepid]

Originally posted by intrepid


Edit to add: OK, we have unwed mothers, what's wrong with unwed fathers?


[edit on 19-3-2006 by intrepid]

Exactly.

However, there must be a custody determination the minute a child is born (out of wedlock) That determination, unfortunately in some cases, is automatically with the mother. Maybe because of the virtue of simply physically giving birth to the child.....who knows?

If there was not a law on the books about this automatic custody determination, hospitals would have to have a full-time judge on staff just to make custody rulings before couples leave the hospital.

Hey....that's not such a bad idea...............

[edit on 19-3-2006 by sdp333]

new federal law now say you must register for every 30 day supply of air u breathe..............

as a new father myself this is most indeed sickening

to have unmarital sex? plz gimmie a break

Why doesn't the law treat the male and the female parents equally? It takes two to conceive a child, not one.

- Nazgarn

Originally posted by nazgarn
Why doesn't the law treat the male and the female parents equally? It takes two to conceive a child, not one.

- Nazgarn

i think its because they suspect it's easier for men to run off on them than women, who go through the child birth process which supposedly creates a stronger connection. sure some dads who do that are dumb, but that doesn't mean those who inquire don't deserve the opportunity. im still interested in hearing comments on the non registrative approach.

We were well on the way of fixing these type of loop holes in our civilized country when we were all of a sudden dragged into war...

pre 9-11 this could have been big news, and a big progressive move to give fathers rights... but...

BIG but...

War is hell, and it takes an awful lot of fathers away from pregnant mothers...
the powers that be see the status quo as a better method thru these trying times...

How would it look if men/boys all over the military were opting out of going to war, due to finding out that they needed to go home and become single fathers?

that statement alone defines several questions that dont have easy answers... and the military has a bad history of integrating these kind of changes...

how long had gays been in the military before the military finally decided to initiate "dont ask, dont tell" policy

too many sticky wickets to consider the dads...

IMO this is one of the worst travesties in this country...

literally, I have seen women brought down from county prison to be awarded custody of children WHILE STILL IN THE COUNTY ORANGE JUMPER.

I have seen women ABANDONE children, only to change there minds months later and demand for custody again...

I have seen loving determined fathers beg for the smallest custody of children that love them...

It is a black eye for our country... but can anyone else notice, when our body is riddled with bruises for other reasons?

Originally posted by LazarusTheLong


I have seen loving determined fathers beg for the smallest custody of children that love them...

Yes, in my job capacity, I have to speak to these fathers all day and listen to the eventual question...."So, what are my chances of getting custody?" If I had a dime for every one of those questions..........

And then I have to basically break their hearts and tell them the ugly truth. Not fun in the least.