It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.
Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.
Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.
Hey Killer 5, I like the image that you're portraying and you express well the moment when you will be most sad, when you leave your love. Maybe try to use the word 'beautiful' a little less, maybe use words such as elegant or mystifying etc... they convey beauty without being so bold as to actually say the word. I like your use of rhyme within the poem, but some of the rhyming words such as 'stars in the sky' and 'angels cry' seem a little cliche. If your girlfriend really is that beautiful though then keep hold of her
Im sorry if u think that ive insulted your poem, its not what i intended at all, more constructive criticism. But if you do then here's one of my poems, feel free to mock if u so wish lol
I'd like to hear more poetry from both of you.