Constable, There's a Ninja in my Bushes!

sfgate.com.../c/a/2006/02/27/MNGVDHFHEP5.DTL

An armed man wearing a black, ninja-style mask was shot to death by a Healdsburg man this morning after he attacked the man's wife outside their home and chased her inside, police said. The shooting happened about 7:30 a.m. at the end of Sunset Drive, a semi-rural street on the east side of town.

The woman was about to take the couple's two Wheaton terrier dogs for a walk when the masked man jumped her outside her garage, police said. The woman struggled, broke away and ran screaming into the house, with the attacker in pursuit.

Her screams awoke her husband. The man, whom police identified only as a man in his 60s, "grabbed their handgun, probably a .357 ... and fired more than one shot," Police Chief Susan Jones said.

Wow, it's not every day you read about ninjas in the news. Killed a ninja with a handgun..I bet he wasn't even a union ninja, probably some sort of wannabe or wierdo who liked to dress up. And leave it to a ninja to wind up with such a crappy death, samurai and pirates, now they know how to die. But in all seriousness...

The identity of the ninja has not yet been released. His identity? His identity is the Black Ninja, what does it matter what alias he was using?

Word on the street is, the Black Ninja's ancient enemy, the White Ninja, is grieving in private with his family and the lil ninjas. Now, without a worthy opponent, the White Ninja's life has become meaningless, and we have to assume that will anger him. People should stay indoors until the White Ninja has been apprehended.

There's no telling what sort of damage he could do. Unfortunately, budget concerns forced the recent shuttering of Interpol's anti-ninja rapid-response team. So..in a nutshell, we're screwed.

"Now ninjas have to ask themselves one question, do they feel lucky?"

"God made man, and Colt made them equal."

"Just like a ninja to bring a knife to a gunfight..."