Giving up on God

Originally posted by BlackGuardXIII
You are hardly swine unless I am misinterpreting your posts.

Well, I feel like a swine at times....especially before God...but thanks...

Originally posted by BlackGuardXIII
You have a strong internal conflict that you can see clearly but have chosen not to resolve. It seems as though you know what your options are, but are not comfortable with any of them. In some cases, we must choose the lesser of two evils.

Ah yes, I think that sums it up well. I think your words "chosen not to resolve" will echo in my mind with great reverberation today...too true...the lesser of two evils...this I am unsure of..it is true...I am just unsure which is the lesser BlackGuard?!

*sigh*

Originally posted by BlackGuardXIIIIn my life, about twelve years ago, I had the choice to make of being with someone I didn't want to be, or not. If I had, everyone involved would have been ecstatic but me, and I considered doing it, but didn't. If there is a God, or Jesus, or whatever, does that really make any difference in your decision?
It would not in mine.

No I think I base my situational problems on how will it affect my children, then my spouse, and ultimately hurting them would dampen the joy of being free for me.

As far as God...I do believe if I leave for selfish reasons...leave to be free to sin in less sinful ways then if I behave that way while married... etc...then yes, I am going against His will for me...exercising my free will and thus having to deal with the consequences alone, whereas if I am living-choosing to with my free will, to accept His will for my life, then I am spared consequences, and even blessed on top of it.

I fear I am not seeing straight, or that it is too late...the life I want wont exist for me now, and if I destroy my family to pursue selfish reasons I may find it was a mistake...in some ways I'd be happier, but in many...I'd be given up a smooth, ordered, "perfect" life, for a broekn, complicated, stressful one...just to be "free"...

Originally posted by BlackGuardXIII I acknowledge that there may be a God, but I do not have a fear of God, or Satan, or judgement. Nobody's perfect.

I do not fear God, unless I were to openly wilfully and with knowledge fight against him, which I would never do.

However, I do believe in universal truth and justice, and do think He in some cases puts into motion these things, and in others, is subject to them as well, and tries to spare us of our own consequences. In either case, I feel it would be ignorant and not in my best interest to selfishly disreguard the ways He has tried to make such truth known to man...to me...that we may have dictates to live by for our ultimate good.


I simply ca not adopt the "eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die...and there is no God, or if there be a God, he will understand, He will not judege, etc." I honestly HONESTLY wish I could adopt something like that!!!

Originally posted by BlackGuardXIII
'And it harm none, do what you will.' Life is too short to feel guilty, and there is no need to do things just because others think it's best. Best for them, maybe, but you're a person too.

Thanks for your understanding and kind words-really.

[edit on 22-2-2006 by think2much]

think2much:
Just ask yourself one question. Do you truly believe what you are doing is the right thing? When you answer, ignore everything you have been taught from external sources, listen to your heart. If the answer is no, then stop doing it. This is what I mean by if your happy with it, God is too. Thus we can't go around doing whatever we please in life, without fear of consequence, for we ourselves hand out our own consequences.

When we do stray, (and this happens often) it helps to talk it through with God and allow Him to guide you back on track. We don't need any external sources to do this, for we are a part of God and He has equipped us with everything we need to do this.

Ahhh says the blind man....

I see

That makes sense now Thanks

I wish I had the strength I need-I seem to be failing...failing me

It was nice to hear that something I wrote made an impression, because your posts are so very close to what I have felt most of my life. And I also agree with mytym, we are our own worst enemies. No one can hurt us like we hurt ourselves. It is so true that we are not so much punished for our failures as by our failures.
I feel like I am failing too, you are not alone there. If I am interpreting the scriptures right, we are all failing God.

Originally posted by BlackGuardXIII
It was nice to hear that something I wrote made an impression, because your posts are so very close to what I have felt most of my life.

Not that I'd wish my suffering on another, but it is good to...be understood.

And I also agree with mytym, we are our own worst enemies. No one can hurt us like we hurt ourselves. It is so true that we are not so much punished for our failures as by our failures.

I think this is why we are exhorted to make the right choices by God. God knows the "hell" on Earth so to speak of the personal ramifications of living contrary to what we know is right.

I think those who don't understand this is those who don't really have the same knowledge, thus they haven't the accountability that comes with such knowledge...damn accountability! This is the basis for my conflict I think...the accountability factor...

I feel like I am failing too, you are not alone there. If I am interpreting the scriptures right, we are all failing God.

Well mankind will always fall short of the glory of God, as we are imperfect... I think daily we do not completely fail Him...but in some ways...ah yes...

thanks guys/gals