The conspiracy against marriage.

Increasingly marriage is under attack in the developed world.

Is the institution in danger of disappearing all together?

How did this happen?

Should it be saved or is it all over?

www.rense.com...

Family is the one thing man can count on when all hope seems lost. Break up the family, a man has no hope. When a man has no hope, he's much more easily controlled and brainwashed. It's all by design.

Well it's up to couples whether they want to get married or not. If they don't who cares? This is just stupid. I don't think this is going to harm the world in any way, most marriages end in divorce anyway so it's good that people aren't just jumping into it.

I think that , barring abusive marriages where people are genuinely unhappy , it is a bit too easy to get out of marriage these days.

If your partner is abusive/violent etc then hell yes leave and dissolve the marriage, that is absolutely wrong and the perpetrator should be punished.

But those people that leave just because they " dont want to do this anymore"......... if you dont want to do the time, dont commit.

I think the only people who would oppose marriage are bitter bachelors and spinsters. Marriage is great, and years ago divorce was considered blasphemous, and people tended to actually marriy people they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with. Perhaps if we were like that today, we'd have less idiots running to Las Vegas to get a pointless vow from Elvis after a few cocktails.

hehm I'm married. Second year aniv comming up mon. ... Isa not sure I wanna be married tho anymore. I've been wit the same girl bout 6-7 years now, two kid's (boy and gurl). I have nothing in common with my wife ... literally. Only reason we got married was cuz I almost went to the military for the benefit's, and she needed to be married to me to get them too. I basicly stay for the kid's. I still *like* my wife, but another girl has come around recently that I have *LOADS* in common with. I've never met a girl like her before and I dun kno what to do. I would much rather be with this new gurl than stay unhappily married, but I just dun wanna walk on the kid's ... LIFE SUX ASS !!!!

Marriage is unecessary and should only be something people get into if they are truly determined to start a family and have offspring. Even then its uncessary and only useful for making a family look "legitimate" to the rest of the world. Getting married for sexual purposes is a thing of the past and really it should be treated that way. Marriage contracts are too binding and cause too many problems if something doesn't work out, which is the case a lot of the time.

[Edited on 5-10-2003 by heelstone]

e-nonymous
if your not happy you really need to tell your wife.
its not fair on her that you are not giving it a 100%
and its also more harm for the children in the long run...
if you really dont plan on being there the rest of your life...then at least give your wife a chance to meet someone in the future....
this other girl....keep it as friends till you get things sorted...
maybe you should try doing things that made you and your wife happy in the beggining...

but honest, if your not happy....she is prob not happy....and the kids prob sence this..

heh, I try ... honestly I do. My wife *won't* do anything anymore tho. She dun wanna go out place or cuddle. -nothing- ... I plan on keeping the new gurl as friend's ... fer now atleast

Heh, I only found out last night that she want's me as bad as I want her lol ... Gonna be wierd seeing her monday now LOL !!!

Meh .. anywho, my wife did say yesterday that 2 wks ago she seriously thought of getting a trial seperation and now I'm seriously thinking of it ... I dun know if I really wanna seperate, if I'm just in a rut right now or what. My wife and I both agree thing's aren't what they used to be.

Blah ... SAVE ME!

hmm it sounds like it really has no hope...

I wish you luck

but maybe seperating would be a good idea...

heh that was a big help

Seriously tho ... maybe I should have a sit down with her about a seperation ... not a divorce or anything. Just a two week break to give other peep's a chance and see if we're truly happy with each other

And remember kid's LOVE IS A STUPID EMOTION ...

*wish's he were a dumb vulcan*

. I've been wit the same girl bout 6-7 years now, two kid's (boy and gurl). I have nothing in common with my wife ... literally. Only reason we got married was cuz I almost went to the military for the benefit's, and she needed to be married to me to get them too. I basically stay for the kid's. I still *like* my wife, but another girl has come around recently that I have *LOADS* in common with. I've never met a girl like her before and I dun kno what to do. I would much rather be with this new gurl than stay unhappily married, but I just dun wanna walk on the kid's

You have my sympathy, e-nonymous. I know how difficult it can be to make a decision to leave a marriage. It sounds like either, you & your wife have forgotten what drew you together in the first place, or you got married too quickly without thinking about it's ramifications. If you NEVER loved your wife, to begin with then there is nothing to save, except a lot of unneeded heartache, by getting out now. The longer the inevitable is dragged out, the more psychological damage it will do to you, your wife, and your kids. Kids are VERY perceptive to tension, but can't comprehend the cause of it. A mutual agreement that you are both unhappy and need to go separate ways, will have a tendency to end much better, for everyone involved, than finding out that you have been unfaithful. That can only cause anger and animosity between you, and that is the worst environment for children to be in. The kids end up in the middle and suffer the most in the end.

If on the other hand, you USED to love your wife and have grown distant from each other, sit down and talk, SERIOUSLY, about what you both want. Try to remember what it was about each other that made you fall in love to begin with. Then try to figure out where those feelings started to get off course. If you think that what you had together is worth anything, it is in your best interest to see if it still is. If you do try separation, DO NOT sleep with the other girl. If your intentions of separating are for this reason, just get a divorce now. You will NOT be able to repair anything after that. You will have already decided not to honestly try and save your marriage. Trust me. I've had experience with this, unfortunately, and prolonging the inevitable only makes things worse.

Take a deep look into your self and try to find what it is you really feel. Love is not a bull$hit notion. I went thru a horrific experience, learned a lot of hard lessons about life and came out stronger and wiser. I also managed to find my soul mate afterwards, and love is EXACTLY what it is meant to be. Rushing into love is our biggest error in judgment. Make sure this girl you find so interesting, really is. We often see or feel intense connections to others when we are having problems with a personal relationship, but sometimes it ends up being an illusion we invented to give us a reason for getting out of an unhappy situation.

In love, always move deliberately. It's a lot less frivolous than a lot of people will admit. It affects everyone differently and what may not be damaging to you, may crush someone else. That's not to say you should disregard your own desires. Just be mindful of the hearts that are placed in your hands, as well as the hands you place your own heart into.

I don't know if you were really seeking advice or just blowing off steam, but that's my two cents anyways.
Good Luck!

Originally posted by John Nada
Well it's up to couples whether they want to get married or not. If they don't who cares? This is just stupid. I don't think this is going to harm the world in any way, most marriages end in divorce anyway so it's good that people aren't just jumping into it.

I'm with John Nada here. in the past, marriages were primarily business arrangements. now that society is changing, so is the institute of marriage. people shouldn't feel pressured to get married and have a family just because they "should". some people just aren't cut out for it.

and e-nonymous, good luck.

I tend to feel (having been married for 30 years) that the stories we see on tv and in films add to the problem. We see a LOT about guys rushing out and getting the Hot Woman but we don't see a lot of films these days about how to be a successful family and how family life works. Of the "families" on tv, the more popular ones I know of are Simpsons and Malsom in the Middle, both VERY dysfunctional and if you were truly in those families, you'd be suffering from personality disorders and PTSD.

Those behaviors are a lot funnier when you've got writers with cute lines. They're stressful when there's no writers controling the situation.

Society's going through a lot of changes as well. Having kids fairly early in a relationship is a trap for both parents, and (if the guy just splits) it's an economic and social pit of quicksand for the girl.

Can't give you much advice, e-non... I was in a bad marriage and divorced (no kids) and I do know what that's like. I have occasionally been troubled in this marriage by sheer lust for another person (two or three significant ones in the 30 years) but when it came down to it, I never made any moves and never left... it later occurred to me that this was the better choice anyway. If I'd gone with those other people, things would not have worked out well. Sometimes the "soul mate" turns out to be more of a "soul stealer" than you realize.

meh ... this other is what I've alway's wanted tho ... I dun know what to do

The sacred bond. To spend one's life in pursuit of the
right one or to spend one's life making it work with the
wrong one. If I was in the neighbourhood of marriage
I would marry. Since I am not, I am still unaffected by
the institution of such matrimony. Honestly, marriage
will always be an afforded option I am sure. Don't sweat
it. Regardless, if you really need the posing ambassador
for God in the robes who probably sins more than you do,
to KNOW your love bond with another, who cares about
officiality. Fake cheerios taste just as good and they're
cheaper. You're with eachother or you're not, period.
Cheers!

I Disagree Dommer, I think if I man has hope/FAITH in god then he has everything. For the man that doesn't want god then all hope is gone.

These are all great posts on a very important subject to most people.

What I wanted to get do is a discussion of the conspiracy side of the marriage question. Do you think that there is a conspiracy against the institution of marriage. I think there is and it is picking up steam. Of course on the other hand many have pointed out that marriage has evolved along with relations between men and women have. Certainly that has put a strain on the institution of marriage and shown that it may need some adjusting so to speak.

But again does anyone see a concerted conspiracy to wreck marriages and to denegrate the idea of marriage in the eyes of the unmarried. Is the purpose of divorce to ensure that those people that go through it are so thoroughly disgusted with marriage that they never want to do it again, that is what happend with my parents years ago for example.

Take a view from the other side as well.

In most cultures marriage while being painted up as a sacred bond was basically designed as an economic contract to subjugate women. A rather useful conspiracy to begin with.

In my opinion, marriage is an overrated concept. A family is a family, even if no one is married. My best friend and his girlfriend have been together for several years, and have a child together, and they're a family in the sense that they love and care for each other, just not a family in the legal sense. I think that marriage has become too much of a legal issue, as opposed to the religious issue it should be.