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Advice Needed Please

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posted on Feb, 8 2006 @ 10:18 AM
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OK, I really need advice and someone to talk to. 25% of this is a vent, the rest is an explaination of my problems. I was thinking a therapist, but I figured that I'd post on the boards and maybe I'll run into someone who's been in a similar situation first.

Well, I'm 23 years old and will be 24 in August. After graduation, I feel I've done nothing with my life. Almost all of the people I know from high school has gone and have graduated from college or trade school and are living a pretty productive life. Me, I'm still living at home with my grandmother, working at a restaurant and barely out of community college after 4-5 years.

My problem is: I have no idea what I want to do. I have about an AA's worth of credits under my belt, by my problem is that I changed majors so many times, got dismissed from school so many times and that at 45-50 or so credits, I don't have enough related courses to recieve an AA and even if I did it would be pointless because I have under a 2.0 GPA. I've been through so many majors: Pre-Veterinarian, Biology, Computer Engineering, Computer Specialist, Computer Networking and now finally I'm a General Studies Major.

It all started when I withdrew from 4 classes because I got in a bunch of debt and had to work overtime. I withdrew after the withdraw date and got 4 "F"s. I explained myself to my instructors who said they would try to explain to the school, but either they failed or didn't even try. I don't blame them though, it's entirely my fault. Since, then it's been hard to pull myself out of the hole - financial wise and grade-wise. I'll go to school for a semester, taking one or two courses and pass with an A. Then the following semester, I'll start working again and it'll all start again. I'll get a D and according to my councilor, that one 'D' cancels out my 'A', so back on academic dismissal for me.

Now, I just want to get a skill to make some decent money. At 23, I'm now considered independent in the eyes of the financial department - even through I would have considered myself as such 2-3 years ago. So, maybe I can get more aid. (Before I got hardly none, since with me working overtime, plus whatever my father makes, I guess we made too much. Even though I technically couldn't afford classes. And at the time, my grandmother or my father wasn't signing for loans). I really want loans over grants/scholarshops, since I feel they should go to more deserving students. Not that I don't deserve them, I just think I've had my chance and passed it by. Now, I can sign for my own loans. Something I'd really like to do since I don't need signatures from my parents.

Now, here's my problem. I really don't know what to do. I've signed up for the University of Phoenix so that I can major online for Information Technology and Networking. I enjoy computers and networking, but I'm not totally sure if that's what I really want to do for the next 40 years of my life. I wanted to major in Biology, but I may be in school for years and years to come. And even then, I'm not sure if -that's- what I want to do, either.

However, a few good things came out of this predicament. One thing is that I've worked in a few industries, even if it was as I call it "under entry-level' positions. I've gotten the chance to get my real estate licence, got involved with a few multi-level business projects and pondered going into so many other fields, from becoming a herbalist to computer programming to a pet groomer to moving to Arizona and starting up a real estate firm to just starting my own business doing who-knows-what. I've often said that once I get my actual degree in something and get situated in life, that I'll take a few courses in my interests just because I can. My thing is, I have no idea what my actual degree is going to me.

The other good thing that happened during the years is that I've found that I can't/don't want to work in an office environment. One of those trendy firms I've seen on TV would fit me, but what's the chance that I'll be lucky to find and be accepted into one of those, huh? I have several tattoos and piercings - all of which I feel express myself and each one I've been up to 3 years of thought into each thing I get. Also, 50% of which are visible. My old office job was fine with everything I had, but the job it self was tedious and the pay was terrible and there was no growth potential. (Another reason, I need some type of degree or education! But that'll be another thread, since I don't care to bored you, the readers, any longer with my problems.)

Well, that's it. I'd like to thank everyone for reading this far. I'm honestly lost and somewhat depressed. Unfortunately, this post is long-winded enough so when I go to the therapist, I'll spill the rest of my guts to him/her. Also, I'm not looking for attention - just for a bit of advice from people who might have been down a similar road before.

Thanks in advance.

[edit on 8-2-2006 by Shaione]

[edit on 8-2-2006 by Shaione]




posted on Feb, 8 2006 @ 10:26 AM
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Im in the exact same boat.

So many people from my high school grabbed a quick trade and are out making solid money now. While I am in my third year of university, no clue of what I want to do when I do get out, and contimplating switching my whole program completely.

Eyeball deep in debt and so many years almost completely wasted. I share an apartment with my girlfriend so I work fulltime, along with going to school. I coach several different sports so alot of my time is volounteered as well. It is rare that I just have me time to sit back and do whatever I please.

I have to come on ATS while I'm at work to beable to actually talk about things and read up on different subjects.

The system has been set up for those like me to fail. Those willing to head to university to better themselves, but can not afford it. Those who need a loan in order to pay tuition, and work full time to keep from going to deep in debt, but still do anyways.

Can not focus 100% on your studies because you need to work just to get by, and before you know it your behind on your studies, your eye ball deep in debt.. and you look back and realize you have wasted several years.

Believe me, I know the feeling. I feel it every single day.



posted on Feb, 8 2006 @ 11:43 AM
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I stoppd reading halfway through. I didnt need to read all to know what I wanted to offer you as advice.

#1 Dont worry about it so much. Yes, really its that simple. Its OK at 24 years old not to know what you want to do. And you know what? You really dont realize that until your much older, so please trust me on that one. Most people over 30 will tell you the same thing. And most people over 30 will also tell you they dont know what they want to do with their lives.

#2 Stay in school as long as possible. Education is a wonderful way to waste time until you figure yourself out. And as long as Grandma is OK with it, you stay right there as long as you are in school. You must trust me on this.

#3 Pick something that makes you happy right now. Dont worry about 40 years from now, its going to happen no matter what you decide right now.
Im going to tell you a secret: It doesnt matter what you decide, because once you get out there you will be exposed to a thousand other things that you may like. So choose something that makes sense for you right now.

Just follow these rules and you will have nothing to worry about:

#1 Do what makes you happy today and tomorrow will take care of itself

#2 Start participating in any 401k's available to you RIGHT NOW and always contribute the maximum, even if you dont think you will stay with that company for very long. This is key. A dollar at 24 is worth a 100 at 34. Pay yourself first!

#3 Success is equel parts talent, effort, and SELF PROMOTION. Make damn certain 100% of everything you do you get credit for.

#4 Never stay late at work, come in early instead. Come in one minute before your boss does, and leave one minute after.

#5 Karma's a b-itch, never forget that when dealing with other people (you never know who your next boss will be, or their assistant!)

#6 Finish your work before helping others. Companies do not value myrters.

#7 Dress at least as good as your boss, even in a loose dress code enviroment.

#8 Never throw any communication away that required you to perform an action. EVER. Print it out, write exactly when and how you performed the task, and place it in a file with the persons name on it who gave it to you. CYA!

#9 Grandmas cooking is better than your own and she wants nothing more than to feed it to you , trust me!

#10 Dont ever regret, and jealousy is not a promotable trait.


And..um..Good luck!

PS, almost forgot:

#11 Never present a problem to your boss, present a solution to a problem.








[edit on 8-2-2006 by skippytjc]



posted on Feb, 8 2006 @ 03:47 PM
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I thought I would do the cool thing and take a year off from high school before going to college. Well, bad idea.

One year ended up being three kids, a marriage, home purchase, two cars, and 2 dogs later (or 10 years).

I went back to school in 2003. I graduated in September in Specialized Computer Programming. I now work at a Help Desk in the most wonderful IT department in the world.

I am 30 years old, and finally found my calling.

Do not let your age be your deciding factor. Unless you are truly happy, you have not found the right job.

Good luck to you, and don't give up!



posted on Feb, 9 2006 @ 01:42 AM
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Yea, I guess my thing is I'm stuck on age. When I was in high school, I had this grand plan. According to my plan, I was supposed to be in Veterinarian school about now and spending my free time thinking about baby names.

I guess I'm just going to let what happens happen and see where it takes me. I considered going ahead with the IT major. I can always go back to school and get that degree in Zoology that I always wanted.

This kinda reminds me of the article I read from my community college. This senior citizen had just got his 6th AA degree. I think so far he's gotten it in English, Business, Biology and a few others. See, if I was rich, that's exactly what I'd do. Learn for the sake of learning. That's the exact reason I'm having such a hard time deciding what I'd like to do.

[edit on 9-2-2006 by Shaione]



posted on Feb, 9 2006 @ 08:44 AM
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My point is dont worry so much about it. I dont mean give up, but just pick something your interested in and go with it. It WILL change later on, let it and dont stress over it.

I am 35 years old, have a decent job and I still dont know what I want to do when I grow up!

Really, you are very young still, plenty of time to change your mind (over and over). Your situation is the same for the majority of people your age, most dont know what they really want. They say that the typical self made millionaire changed proffessions or businesses every 3 years on average. No kidding.

Just make sure to pay yourself first and save 10-15% of your income while you figure things out. And before you know it you will have plenty of money to do whatever you want.



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