posted on Feb, 5 2006 @ 10:17 PM
Doesn't EVERYONE have that one relative that you just can't STAND, and yet the rest of the family loves them?
It's a cousin for me. We went to a chinese food restaraunt for dinner tonight, for the old mans birthday (42), so, there's my cousin. She's eleven?
Not sure..Anyhow, the whole time, all she does is bitch. Bitch at my grand parents, bitch at her parents, bitch at her five year old sister; and her
parents just sat there and tried to block it out... It was so bad, I would have rather rolled down a hill of broken glass and used seringes than have
been there for another minute. So, when dinner's over, the bills come 'round; and this smack tard gets off her chubby ass, hobbles around the table,
checks EVERYONES receipt and makes sure they paid the right amount..Who the hell does she think she is? The tip police?
The restaraunt is right by the harbour..You know, someone could fall in there, and no one would find them for days...God damn, the whole ride
home, I was hoping, PRAYING that there car would flip over the median somehow, and that she'd be thrown out of the windshield into on coming
traffic..Of course, some how the rest of them would need to be sparred of any injury what so ever..Call it an act of god?
And my neighbours...They've got to be the stupidest things on the face of the planet; they must be from Digby-er, well, no...I lie... Not
the father, Noel, but his kids. In summer they have this crummy little pool for children; you know the kind. The ones that are only slightly lower
than nipple height? Those kids wake up at the crack of dawn, run out there, and SCREAM at each other at the TOP of their lungs, EVERY GOD DAMN
MORNING. I don't know how the man doesn't just put their little heads under water and wait for those tiny little limbs to stop squirming..Seriously,
how much fun can you have screaming at your sibblings in nipple high, luke warm water? Apparently, lots.
And in the winter, they run around in the snow...They love snow..They love snow so much, they take it from my yard. I don't like snow, I
hate it..But it's MINE when it's in MY yard..And I'll do with it as I please. I want to stair at it for a few hours? Fine. I want to frolic in it
naked? Cool. I want to pee in it, and roll around for a while in it? Whatever works for me, because it's MINE, all for ME.
But they take it...They slowly slink their way into my yard, stairing into my windows, like they're so sly. Well guess what? They aren't.
I'm bigger, faster, smarter, louder. They can't slink by me. Then they scream at each other some more..Sometimes fists are thrown..But it's never
enough to shut one of them up...Someday I hope that a pack of stray dogs just HAPPENS to by coming out of the path as they play. Or that the plough
driver just HAPPENS to not see one of them..Now that would make my day.
Oh, and my cousin, you know, the tip police? Whenever she's here, she does this thing..Where she kind of spies on you. She slowly makes
her way around the house, hiding behind the walls, listening and watching you as you turn around..But, you can see her. She's very over weight for
her age, and thus, she's always visible.
*Loud breathing coming from behind the wall*
"..So yeah, like I wa-"
"Dude, is that a leg?"
"I CAN SEE YOU COURNTEY!"
*Thick leg is pulled quickley back behind the wall*
"...She'll get tired of it soon..Pretend like you're asleep."
Last and not least, we had an "In your opinion" question on a test, she gave me half points for it...How is my opinion wrong? I'll learn
her one good..People's elbow, straight to the ovaries..
So that's it...I won't be awake to read your responses or flames, I've got exams tomorrow