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A few minor adjustments

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posted on Feb, 3 2006 @ 01:49 PM
Attention citizens:

Whereas traffic simply should not be this bad on a work day,
Whereas the carwash was way too crowded,
Whereas despite my so far accident-free driving record, I was almost hit 3 times in the last hour,
Whereas I am one to hold a grudge,
And Whereas most of the offenders were old and drove nice cars


All Country clubs are to be bulldozed, and their members exiled.

Visitation to Southern California from Canada shall be restricted to the summer months (and yes, I know that nobody will come).

Any car newer than 5 years old which exhibits signs of neglect, such as knocking, brake noise, accident damage, worn tires, or a never-ending left-turn signal shall not be washed until all defects are fixed, and all fines shall be increased tenfold, and the third offense shall be made a capital crime.

It shall be illegal to lay down new parking stripes in the lot of an abandoned building, especially if this procedure makes it harder to access a gas station.

I appologize in advance for any inconvenience and thank you for your cooperation with these completely toothless decrees. Please be assured that these are absolutely necessary preliminary steps towards maintaining a blood-bath free environment in the Coachella Valley and all other places frequented by The Vagabond.

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