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posted on Oct, 3 2003 @ 02:47 PM
ill have a reading please...

posted on Oct, 3 2003 @ 11:37 PM
Ahhh Captian Tripps I like your style, indeed a person of a thrifty nature.

As you wish to eat the entrails I will use a fish.

OK, I have a nice fresh fish here,
First I must remove the head,
then scrape the scales off,
let me cut it length wise down the middle ...
then remove the the nice filletts from either side.

MMMM these look good....
Now I need some flour, egg batter, and some breadcrumbs...

Dip the filletts in the mixture and heat a pan with butter in it to hot.

Take your fresh filletts and fry them in the pan until the flesh turns white and starts to seperate. mmmmm.

Serve this on a warm plate with fresh new potatoes and some spring vegies. Have a nice Tartea sauce for the dressing.

Feeds 2 people...
Oops I forgot to do the reading!

Now from the entrails of this tasty fish I can see that you are a seafaring man. You lost your leg whilst whaling in the North Atlantic and was bitten by a great white whale.

You returned to fight him again and I see he bit off your other leg. Thats sad....

Oh, but you are brave, or foolish and returned in your wheelchair to fight the great white whale again, this time he took your right arm. You are doing a good job feeding the fishes Mr Tripps.

Take my advice now and don't go near that stinken sea again Sir!
It has done you no good. In the future if you follow my advice you will retire to a nice cottage by a bubbling stream.
Far inland.
Unfortunatly one day whilst you are washing in the stream a catfish will bite off your last arm.

Here are the entrails I will mail them to you ...
Damn, the cat just ate them, so I will mail you the cat instead....

Originally posted by Captain Tripps
OOH OOH! PICK ME! PICK ME!! Could you send me the entrails when your done? I'm out of sushi and am starving....

I can reimburse you for sending them... of course it will be with thought patterns...

posted on Oct, 3 2003 @ 11:46 PM
Could I get a reading? I ran over a roadrunner with my car today and am afraid of the possible implications. (they're not quite as fast as I expected)


posted on Oct, 4 2003 @ 12:20 AM

you are funny man. that is a good routine for stand up for sure!

posted on Oct, 4 2003 @ 01:41 PM
that was perfect Mala! just to let you know, I type with my face.....

posted on Oct, 4 2003 @ 01:44 PM

what do you see in me??

posted on Oct, 4 2003 @ 06:06 PM
Mr beergoggles, in the light of your story as to your desire to run over animals I found a dead cat that had been hit by a car, and I will use that for my reading.

Fluffy, was such a nice cat, but all the years of food and vet fees my neighbours paid to take care of him are not lost. After doing this reading I will make fluffy into a nice casserole and invite my neighbours to dinner.

Of course I won't tell them what sort of meat it is until AFTER we have eaten. They will be so happy to see how I have made the best out of the situation!!

Now from fluffies intestines I have discovered the following about Mr Beergoggles.

As a child you had an unusual mother. When you were in your pram she used to take you for walks in the sun and use the pram as a battering ram to knock little old ladies over and steal their bags when they tried to look at you.

Once you progressed to a tricycle she would take you for walks to the bank where she would committ an armed holdup and use you on the tricycle as a gettaway. Nobody would suspect a lady and boy on a tricycle as criminals. And the police were too embarrassed to make it public that they couldn't catch your mother.

This love of larceny and wheeled killing progressed in leaps and bound when you attained your first bike and would take the neighbourhood dogs for drags around the city. They couldn't keep up running and eventually the left red stains on the road as they were tied behind your bicycle.

I see you are following your heart in trying to see how fast animals can run before you hit them.

In the future I see you will become a long distance truck driver with a giant rig. You you will leave a trail of squashed cyclists, pets, and hitchikers across your country.

You will die peacefully in your sleep, unlike the other passangers in your car at the time who will die screaming.

I think you will be reincarnated as a cockroach....

However you do have the chance to redeam yourself from this fate by trying to save any road kill you come across injured on the road. Cats, possums, skunks, hedgehogs etc can all be saved if you give them mouth to mouthparts resusitation. Turn over a new leaf now whilst you still have the chance!!

Originally posted by beergoggles
Could I get a reading? I ran over a roadrunner with my car today and am afraid of the possible implications. (they're not quite as fast as I expected)


posted on Oct, 4 2003 @ 06:43 PM

Originally posted by Nerdling
I'll take a reading please *hands coupon over*

...if it's really you. YOU are TOOOOOO cute.

posted on Oct, 4 2003 @ 06:47 PM
all right, I can't resist. try me.

posted on Oct, 4 2003 @ 07:10 PM
**crying** You saw into my soul. Mom and I had such a good thing going until...until....IT happened...**sobs**

I have been shown the error of my ways! Why, just now, as I was driving down the street in my truck with 44in tires, I decided NOT to smash the moose crossing the road.
I have been delivered.

Hosing off my undercarriage,


posted on Oct, 15 2003 @ 01:08 AM
Ahhh Dmsoldier

I have done a reading for you and am suprised at what I found. You are still only a little way along the road of life. Up to now your life has been uneventual. This will change when you move cities then you will start to make some adventurous friends at the CIA.

I see you travelling overseas as a hired assasin for the CIA. After trying to kill the leader of am African country you will lose your memory and not know who you are. Worse than that your emotive skills will deteriorate and you will turn into a a murdering automatum.

You will fall in love with a wild german girl and drive a mini with reckless abandon through Paris trying to avoid the police. Eventally you will regain your memory and kill all your handlers and thus freeing yourself.

After that you will move to California and in a career change from being a mercenary killing machine, will become a politician. It will be a steep learning curve for you as you find that you are not allowed to shoot the opposition members.

But you will rise to the challange by arming California with your private army. In your later years you will invade Oregon, although no one will notice for months.

Eventually your empire will cover most of the Western states, but your downfall will occur when you hit New York. There you will encounter an harrassed computer executive who will take you prisoner and chain you in a computer lab for the rest of your life. You will end your days trying to find defective harddrives and working the help desk.

[Edited on 15-10-2003 by Mala]

posted on Oct, 15 2003 @ 01:15 AM
Mala I can't resist I just need to know what lies ahead...thank you.

posted on Oct, 15 2003 @ 01:46 AM
Sorry friend, I leave my destiny to God and myself to walk the path thereof. I appreciate the offer, but I'll spare you the time as
I will my destiny, faith helps me through. To know future is only to doom one's fate with conjecture by fear and/or obsession that becomes self-convicted by belief. No one's future is set. Free will.

posted on Oct, 15 2003 @ 08:56 AM
ahh sounds like a movie

so you mean i fight the civil war?

i just cant stop wundering if im on good or bad side

PS:How you get your readings?

posted on Oct, 15 2003 @ 09:09 AM
Here...*hands Mala a chicken*....


posted on Oct, 15 2003 @ 09:11 AM
I would enjoy a reading when you have the time
thnx in advance

posted on Oct, 15 2003 @ 12:26 PM
My I please have a reading? If so, then thank you very much.

posted on Oct, 15 2003 @ 06:32 PM

all that CIA stuff is a joke? *kinda sounds like one*

thanks for the reading again, very cool

[Edited on 15-10-2003 by Dmsoldier]

posted on Oct, 15 2003 @ 06:35 PM
I'll take a reading if you are willing to give me one, thanks.


posted on Oct, 17 2005 @ 10:41 PM
I have returned from my sojourn in the wilderness to provide readings for the members here on the board and to break the strong juju the board is under!

I must first dance around my fire and utter the magical incantations to release the board

Pakacha parachuka, wajikuta chini juu
Pakacha lakucheka, mzegazeka nafuu
Pakacha kusarifika, zambarau sio fuu
Pakacha towa talaka, ndio siri ya kifuu
Pakacha ni kichaka, cha mbuni vitu kuviacha wazi
Pakacha mashaka, wengi wauza mbaazi
Pakacha kushilanga muafaka, shabaha kupanda ngazi
Pakacha kuliamini ni shaka, lageuka utelezi
Pakacha nakunasihi, fujo zako kuziacha
Pakacha huzimi wala huwashi, wajijua umechacha
Pakacha kipimo chako ni pishi,wengine watoto pacha
Pakacha ubani wako mafushi, mara nyengine mchicha
Pakacha kujihashuwa uwache, mara hii utadunda
Pakacha makarara kwako cheche, mnyama wako ni punda
pakacha gari lako ni mkweche, wapakia vilovunda
Pakacha miye si cheche, ni sungura kwenye sanda.

OK now who would like a reading?

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