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Originally posted by dr_strangecraft
Where there is life, there's hope. And future hope is more powerful than all the evils of the past.
Originally posted by dr_strangecraft
I wish she would post on here. she claims she's forgotten her password. . .
Her work is also insane this week; been out of town and will be going again in about two weeks.
On the one hand I want to say that our relationship is not "patriarchal" and "father knows best," it is true that my chair is at the head of the dining room table. On the other hand, we have to alternate the kids so there's less "noise" at the dinner table. One on each side of me . . .
We don't spend a lot of time playing out specific domininant/submissive roles in our relationship. When I have "put my foot down" about jobs she was taking that were simply not possible, it is also true that I have more experience than she does, being a decade older.
On the other hand, I was considering a move across the continent for a PhD program, and she was pretty traumatized by the threat of that; she couldn't stand to be that far away from her family. I was not totally sanguine about the position, so it was easier for me to say "we'll say within a day's drive of your family." If it is meant to be, I'll tackle that program some day. My family comes before my career. Just like it has for her.
I think when outsiders hear traditional families talk, they imagine an impossible amount of rigidity. But I don't boss her around; she doesn't step and fetch all the time. Her career is really taking off, and I am thrilled to cut back a little at work, and be a father who spends time with his children each day. We are flirting with the idea of home school, because we could alternate days of the week at home---but only for 2006 for sure. And do we make the change if our job demands might evolve away from that model?
I didn't really expect her to say "obey" in our vows. I wasn't holding out for it or anything. It does show the kind of person she is.
I'll tell you something else about her. When we were just dating, I had a serious midterm at 8:00 the next morning. I told her I had to cut the date short. I took her home and said good night. The next morning, as I was stepping out of the shower, there was a knock at the door. There she stood with a steaming hot plate of cinnamon rolls she'd made for me. Now, when is a guy going to see that in our time. A woman like that only comes along once in a lifetime.
I know, I sound totally patriarchal. But think about it. She got up even earlier than I did, say 5:00 a.m., to make out the dough and all that, cook it and so on, then drive over to my place before I'd even gotten dressed. And on her way to work in a hospital ER before going back to campus for classes. Just to show me what kind of woman she was and what kind of guy she thought I was. Again, one in a couple hundred million.
Without getting all theological and freaking out the worldlings on BTS, we can say that she is happier knowing that I am making some of the more complicated financial calculations. And I for my part am happy to sacrifice my best efforts to be worthy of her partnership.
I would say the key is less the question of who's in charge, as it is the fact that we both know that we are not in this marriage for what it will give us. We are in it for love, for the other person, and for our children.
When things are going well (which is sometimes), there's nothing like coming home to a happy family that is focused on each other instead of TV.
.
But you know those wacky leave-it-to-beaver types.
Originally posted by frau dr
I really do exist, and my work really has been insane. It is really amazing to read all of the wonderful things that my dear husband strangcraft posts about me, our relationship, our family. It really is the way things are in our marriage. I can't imagine having anyone more perfect as a husband. He mentioned to me that he had done quite a bit of posting online about us and I asked him about it. I really am sort of flattered that he thinks so highly of me. Often I don't feel like I give him everything I should or care for him in better ways. I am always wishing that I would have or could do more for him and for the strangecraftlings. They are my joy, my family!
Originally posted by IAF101
I just started reading this thread and many people are so open about themselves that I doubt I will ever be capable of such in public.
[edit on 1-2-2006 by IAF101]
Originally posted by denial28
Well,
You wanted to know what goes on in the heads of females that causes them to be such attention hogs, where they make men feel as though they must perform, so yeah I guess we are girlfriends in a way
Originally posted by denial28
Basically what I was driving at, was the lengths we as women will go through, to gain approval from the opposite sex.
no, I understand you needed to vent in general, especially pertaining to how you feel women must "perform" sexually and being attractive and as being valid to the topic at hand
Originally posted by denial28
PLease don't think I was trying to vent for a pity party, I have had YEARS of counseling-but thats another story
Originally posted by denial28
ANyways, I must pose this question. DO men feel the need to perform simply because naturally they are gravitating to the higher maintenance female? IT makes sense simply because even in nature, it is the brighter plumage that gets the males chest puffing so to speak.
Originally posted by denial28
Psychologically speaking, men naturally gravitate to the more womanly woman, IE ROund hips where the hip to waist ratio is tiny waist, full breasts.
Or is it all females that make you feel as though you need to perform?
The basis of every species is the competition of vying for the females attention after all. To procure your bloodlines.
[edit on 2/1/2006 by denial28]
It's hard to find the energy to express how I loathe such base behavior and those that promote it. It's almost like stooping to their level just to discuss it for me...leaves me feeling...like I need a good hot shower just to cleanse myself.
Originally posted by orangetom1999
I need you to explain to me your view about the attraction of a format like Howard Stern.
Originally posted by orangetom1999
I tried to watch this program a few times but it just became to obvious that he is another merchandizer of the type like Jerry Springer. Only for late night viewing by adults.
The problem I have with Howard is that his programming is mostly of the lowest common denominator. Continually. (snip)
This seems to sell so much to a certain kind of person ..male and female.
(snip)Talk about prostituting ones self for a image. This program is textbook for this. To me Howard is the head pimp.
Originally posted by dr_strangecraft
None of those reasons is why I loathe the Howard Stern Show. If fine with all that. (snip)
That stewpid, stoopid laugh is the bane of my existence.
Originally posted by orangetom1999
I've seen this among guys too..but in a slightly different format. IN performing for attention or approval they often as young men tend to buy a certain kind of car...why??? Because they never saw a ugly woman get out of one.!!! Also known as ...our hero doesnt ride a white horse .anymore..he drives a white porsche. It cracks me up to see guys with more car or stereo than brains. Performing for approval..or increasing his value in the marketplace.
Orangetom