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The conspiracy against men and fathers

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posted on Jan, 26 2006 @ 03:52 PM
in a moment, I will try to explain what "conspiracy" I's not targeted at men, or women, but rather something entirely different....

but first, well, I want to say something about the idea of equal pay amoung the genders and why I think that married men would make more than married women...

it goes back to the kingd of the castle, dad's the breadwinner, mom's the caretaker bit. well, to put it bluntly, dad's the breadwinner, for the most part, his career will not take second place to family, will it? I mean, if litle jonny is sick in school, who's going to be the one who's called to pick him up? I'll admit, sometimes it will be dad, but in alot of instances I bet it's mom who has to go to her boss and tell him she has to leave, her kid's sick. when the child was concieved and when you both felt he was too young to stay at a daycare center, who was the one who pulled themselves out of the workforce, Dad?? and, what, typically does dad do when he comes home from a hard day's work? what does mom do?? and, who's freer to say yes when the request to work overtime comes around?
the employer will value the one that is there, that is giving the most of themselves to the job, not the one that will be torn between what amounts to two full time jobs for the next 18 or so years!

now for the conspiracy, which, if your paying $35,000 in child support, well, it might not pertain to you. mothers generally speaking, make less than their male counterparts, heck, they make less than their childless women counterparts....simply because that job will not be number one on her priority list... if a family breaks up, their total expensed must at least increase by 2/3, if not more. I mean, you are now trying to run two households, right? and well, now days, if their are very young children, that mom is playing full time mom to, well, money is probably tight running just the one household. Which, wouldn't surprise me in the least if that was one of the reasons for the breakup.....lack of money....and the stress, the argue and bickering that goes with it.

so, now that family, with one wage earner, who were struggling to maintain their one household, now has two households to pay for instead.....there's no way in heck, so, along comes good ole uncle sam to the rescue. for many men, the amount of child support that they get hit with, isn't even half of what it would take to raise those kids, remember, it goes on the amount of income earned? and well, the mother of young kids could go out and find herself a job, but well, considering how much childcare is, it could very well be a losing venture. so, the man pays her what he can, and the women turns to the government to provide the rest....and zap!!!...guess who is getting almost all of that childsupport??? you got it, good ole uncle sam...
different states are run differently, and I am describing what I say happening in NY, but what I saw kind of gave me the impression that in reality, the government wanted the men kicked out, the women on welfare. then well, there's alot of dead beat dads, that in reality aren't so dead beat!! they have paid, but that money kind of sort of went into a black hole somewhere. in many cases, the father or the kids and the mother aren't really communicating too well....and well, the state kind of sent paperwork to her that if the father had, he would have known something was a bit off in the accounting somewhere, but well, they didn't send it to him. so, you have a women with records from the support collection agency saying that only this amount here has been paid, while the father has paycheck stubs claiming that a much higher figure was paid.....unfortunately, I think the two just are too busy bickering over weather or not he paid anything for them to actually get together and figure out that there's something amiss.

so, this is what I think the conspriracy is.....
I really think that the government wants as many people as they can possibly get relying on them for the necessities in live, not their husbands, and heck no, definately not themselves if they are women.
and they get an added perk of draining even more money from the men, which, seems to have an uncanny knack for getting sucked into some black hole somewhere and probably finds it's way into some black ops project or whatever...who advice would be first and foremost, really take marriage seriously, ,make sure that you both want the same thing in your life. and that your both willing to compromise for the other, because there will be alot of compromising for both of yous, unless of course, you have a king in your castle, then, well, I make sure that the women you marry is willing to forfiet anything and everything for you! but, if for some reason, things just don't work out how you like, try to work it out as much as possible between yourselves, with as little involvement from the court and government as you can.

posted on Jan, 26 2006 @ 05:36 PM
I will hate to bring this up but the only way a mother will not take the custody of the children is. . . . if the father can prove that the mother is unsuitable to be a mother.

Laws has change in American and believe or not even in very Catholic countries like south America that do not believe in divorces.

I feel sorry for the good fathers out there that are victims of bad marriage and bad wives but the laws are always in favor of the mother.

Now depending of the accumulation of wealth or possessions after the marriage the women is always to receive everything unless otherwise stipulated in writing prior to marriage as in a pre-nuptial agreement.

But because most couple marry young and neither bring anything to the marriage they have not reason to do an agreement.

This is the way the law works and women is always favor over the men.

In todays society and under the law extramarital affairs are not even part of the decision for custody of children onces the couple agree of divorced.

Unfair for some yes, but in our nation we still have bartered women, death beat husbands and abuses that are pretty much on the rise.

I for one has been marry for 20 something years and to this day my husband and me have come to the decision that divorce will be a waste of time and money specially his side of it.

So we just live happily and lovingly together, the worst was over a long time ago all marry couples goes through good and bad times.

But for some that can not stay in a relationship because one or the other's fault remember is better to part in good faith and remember that children are not the responsibility of one, it takes two

posted on Jan, 26 2006 @ 11:46 PM

I feel sorry for the good fathers out there that are victims of bad marriage and bad wives but the laws are always in favor of the mother.

If more women actually admitted this we might be able to get somewhere, its a bit funny when you chirp about inequality in one thing but choose to ignore it in another. And I know that overall men only slightly get pay better then women, in my opinion it is not enough to justify placing all the burden of child support upon the father.

posted on Jan, 27 2006 @ 12:55 AM
Marg i was about to post that this thread needs the input from........

Males that have been directly affected by this

Women who say it dos`nt exist,they imo only strengthen that it does.

Males that did`nt or dont know it exists

The young that have seen this first hand and been affected by it.

Grand parents that dont get to see their grand kids because of it

And most importantly i have been waiting for a women on ATS who see`s this as wrong and understands this is not an attack on women or their rights,and if there was an award for this for being the first,you`d have it.

I know senseable women exist on this issue,some with the view that this whole push of womens rights degrades women,degrades families etc and fight for fathers rights,and i hold them in the highest respect for their efforts and morals and time.

If women were treated this way,men would be their strongest supporters.
The reason this has been allowed to go on so long is because it goes against mens nature to fight for their rights over a womens.

One such women" target="_blank" class="postlink">Sue Pricewho has been fighting this for years now.

Some men on this thread have spoken up and i`ll guarentee it took a lot to do it,same goes for myself.

Personally i`ve been 12 years now together with my partner and in 4 more we`ll be married,the reason for the wait is because if we were to marry her assets and income can be taken as well as mine,and its my decission that i can`t allow that to happen.The only way we could have a life was to start our own business as a partnership which has been very successful for the past 9 years.Not that we are rich we do have our financial independence so at least we can be together.

We have no children together knowing full well that if we did our children do not have the same rights and if you can believe value the Gov puts on them.

Yet the women can and in my case has,which was the basis of another attempt to raise my finacial responsibilities to my children due to her having more and now having less money for our boys.She and the Gov tried and failed.The difference is to me if i had custody i would`nt ask for a cent from anyone i never have.These type of women use and abuse men and the children as currency allowed and enforced by the Gov.

Which is why it is a conspiracy,its a dirrect attack on men women and families IMO to be given the duty to be the head of their family by God and the father be reduced to an ATM card.What better way is there? than to acheive this?

[edit on 27-1-2006 by gps777]

posted on Jan, 27 2006 @ 01:54 AM

Originally posted by Nygdan

Originally posted by gps777
Fathers as dead beat dads in after divorce.That very word is offensive knowing full well what happens to fathers who divorce be it their decision or their wifes

Who cares if its offensive? If a person is a 'dead beat dad', who doesn't live up to his legal obligations of the divorce proceedings, then the label fits.

I care, because that label is put on males to often,and i know how hard it is and what happens to you,the very reason why fathers see no other option than suicide.

posted on Jan, 27 2006 @ 03:47 AM

Originally posted by Benevolent Heretic

Perhaps women initiate 2/3 of divorces. Do you suggest a woman stay in a marriage and subject their children to a man who is alcoholic and perhaps violent? Should she just ignore his affairs?

In this case, he’s not going to initiate a divorce when he’s got a wife taking care of him, his kids and his home, while he goes out with other women.

Come on,now i`ll ask you in the manner,are you suggesting its only men that do and cause this?

Sure. Plenty of men get screwed in divorce, but so do women. Think about how easily we gloss over the matter that men make more money than women. Talk about inequality... Talk about a conspiracy.

I thought i had made myself clear on how it is,typical response to drag it into something its not about.Where in reality its far more so that the male gets screwed over and loses his children,as do the Grand parents.

Fathers do get screwed, I'm not denying that, but that fact needs to be balanced

This is what i`m complaining for because its not balanced.

with the fact that mothers get screwed, too, and many times the father gets screwed because he's acted in such a way that they lose respect and trust.

If you think thats what i`ve been saying?well???and what women dont fool around and are`nt unpleasent to their husbands either?

Not always, I know. But the information you've presented is unbalanced. You haven't presented the total picture.

Its unbalanced because its unbalanced,i could not provide a balanced post on the issue that would be misleading if i did.

You obviously know nothing about an equal relationship and a respectful, equal marriage. Maybe you couldn't abide one, but they exist and they are wonderful. My marriage is such a marriage and my husband has no issues about needing to be 'the king of the castle' or the big man. He's secure in who he is and knows that it's effective that we both have equal strengths and sharing the decision-making is the smart thing to do. He actually respects me and my intelligence. Wierd, huh?

He`s secure in who you are,other people may not have that luxury

I dont think your qualified to judge him and or his relationship,Though i`m glad your in a wonderful relationship,hes obviously a good husband and you a wife together,what happens when there is a need to put things straight in a marriage though?would he as a good man speak up if there was a serious problem?would you?you probably would.
How can you judge what goes on in someone elses relationship,even over the net?

I know first hand the problems with having a depressed wife with zero self esteem.

I wonder why her self-esteem is so low! I can't imagine!

Sit up on your high horse with your wonderful relationship and judge everyone according to how yours is,Seriously i hope it does`nt hurt too much when your thrown and hit the ground.
But not only that,this is a typical response that its the males fault.
If it was the male who was depressed would it be the females fault,no he`s just got mental problems,beter leave him take his kids and assets?.
How easy to see things from your typical womens (no slur on women that see it for how it is)perspective and reply likewise.

[edit on 27-1-2006 by gps777]

[edit on 27-1-2006 by gps777]

posted on Jan, 27 2006 @ 04:09 AM
mmm.... This entire topic depresses me to no end. I'm in this situation, with one minor stipulation, we were never married.

We lived together for one year, and my family and I did everything to make her life as easy as possible, we assisted her in transportation, with finances when she couldn't afford it, my family and I have bent over backwards to care for her because we believe that the parents need to be healthy and happy in order for the child to grow that way.

My son, who is going to be two soon, is a darling boy whom I love very much... and he's fiercely smart.

Last year, we moved to a new city. There had been some angry tension growing between us, and we both had agreed that getting seperate places would likely be for the best for both of us. One day, the people hosting us while we looked for apartments and such were woken up by my Son crying... it had gone on for well over an hour.

His mother was moving her stuff out to my vehicle, which I had given her permission to use to move her things... she started moving at 6am, while my son was sleeping and everyone else was as well.

Later, I was angry with her and scolded her for being both an inconsiderate guest and for ignoring our son, who was far too young to understand why his mommy kept taking things outside while leaving him there. I felt she was being a bad mother concerning her behavior (And there are a lot more instances of behavior which led to the comment).

And then I headed out to get in my car as I had a job interview. She followed me OUT TO THE PARKING LOT, and began attacking me. Normally, I would have deflected her attacks and just incapacitated her somehow, but I was thrown completely for a loop that she had followed me outside and was attacking me. So my basic instinct of fight/flight kicked in, and I struck back... laid her out on the pavement and gave her a shiner for a couple weeks, and I only struck back the one time.

That whole situation was a sign that we just were never meant to live together, as I am not normally a violent person. When your spouse or significant other brings out the bad in you, you have no business living together. Well, six months later, she files domestic violence against me for that particular scenario. She out and out confesses she attacked me, and can you guess who has the Domestic Violence restraining order against them?

Just so that we're clear, I am ashamed that I struck her, and it's actually the only time I ever struck someone and actually hurt them... like I said, usually I can read people pretty well and expect when someone is going to try and go after me. As point of reference, a friend of mine got really angry at something I said once and chucked a chair at my head. Didn't lift a finger to hurt him in response, and it could easily have killed me or done me serious physical harm.

I don't make apologetics for what I did... but I still feel very strongly that it is wrong what the judge decided, as I have no intention of every being in any kind of physical situation with the woman in question again.

Side note: She outweighed me by 50 pounds when she attacked me, and no... she isn't one of those women who are obese. She has a good portion of muscle.

posted on Jan, 27 2006 @ 05:07 AM
Well Crystalsword i did`nt want to have to go into details of what happened in my previous marriage,but i would feel uncomfortable without shareing mine.

My ex had always never gotten over her ex she went down south to visit him and stay with relatives,after a couple of days i went down there to pick her up after work i arrived about 9pm,and she was`nt at her relatives she was out with her ex driving around.I waited he dropped her off.

a few months later we find that she is pregnant with twins,Which conception had to have been around the time of her being down south approx,i could`nt hold back any longer and had to ask the question,are they deffinetly mine?

A punch came from my left and bad eye that swept my nose over to my right ear,i thourght something does`nt feel right here and took off to the bathroom,my nose was laying side ways across my face,i tryed to straighten it as best i could as a glass plate stuck me across the back of my head,which needed ten stitchs.

She appoligised a lot after seeing all the blood and what not,and she settled down,i was`nt hurt more surprised,a week or so went by and i had done a terrible job on straightening my noseand it looked similar to Owen Wilson if i knew i nose like that called make you rich i would have left it.

I went to the hospital to have it fixed,i layed on the table and the doctor proceeded to shove gauze into the sinusis and i tell ya about twenty strips of gauze disappeared and i could still breathe normal???he braced himself and told me to do the same and proceeded to press his thumb onto the side of my nose until it broke.It hurt like hell.

I had trouble driving home because of the pain,i walked inside my ex said something i dont know what but i said angrily leave me alone i`m going to lay down,she did`nt like that and started to walk towards me with the same evil look in her eyes when she hit me,i then open palmed both hands thumped her in the top of her chest which sent her flying into the kitchen from the lounge room.

She states in these Govement reviews all the time that she has medical proof that i was violent towards her.I tell her all the time provide it please i have proof to the opposit.

Let alone what problems and debts she brought into my life that i took on as my own.Thats just another area i`ll leave it at that tho
I was brought up different than this concerning marriage and relationships something i thourght she would aphriesiate of what i could offer her,i was young and niave.
The boys were born on my birthday and were three months prem,they were home for about a month i came home for lunch from work 12.00 oclockand found her as ussual made a bed in front of the TV watching days of our lives still in her pyjamas,i looked into the kitcken and the two boys were rolling around naked on the tiled floor in puddles of urine.

I went off,she said to me that she has been thinking of slitting my throart while i`m asleep.

I came home packed my clothes and left,thinking i could keep going there to help as much as i could,she came to my work and pleaded i come home again i said sorry not any more.Her eyes turned evil again and she replied i`m going to ruin you.
Now my boys call someone else dad i guess,and i hope she is better towards another guy and to the boys.

My lovely Lady of 12 years knows and understands these issues that i started this thread over first hand and why i feel as strong as i do about them,we love each other deeply and trust does`nt even enter into it,she also understand that come the first day of the year i`m ussually distant and very quiet and she respects my request to never have a big surprise party on that day being my boys and my birthday.

[edit on 27-1-2006 by gps777]

posted on Jan, 27 2006 @ 05:35 AM
I want to thank you for sharing your own personal difficulties... and I hope you realize that I feel for you, as I am certain you must be deeply concerned for the children she gave birth to.

I was raised to defend myself when I'm attacked... but only if defense is necessary to diffusing the situation. My Father was AFPD for 20 years, and I've always been something of a meek fellow, preferring words over physical action to settle differences between myself and others.

There is a double standard which many women are quite aware of, and use on a daily basis.... I am all for women's equal rights, and I mean quite literally equal rights. If a woman wants equal pay, I am for it. There are some logistical problems as to why this doesn't happen, but I can't see why this couldn't happen in a long term sense.

However, what bothers me is that many women want to have their cake and eat it too... a lot of women seem to me to want all the benefits of being treated equally as men without losing the benefits of special treatment as women.

Many want compensation and understanding that, as women, they have to take maternity leave, they have to go and take care of the children if there is something wrong, and they are weak and incapable of comparing to a man physically.

Recently I was watching local news about the rise in Domestic Violence against men, which is to say not that there is a rise, but that it has always been about 20%. And this is just recent numbers in my local area. It was also stated that there is likely to be a lot more that isn't reported because it is considered to be unmanly to be abused by a woman.

I would argue that is part of it... I think there's another element though. I think that men feel that once a situation has been dealt with, it is over. In the opposite sense, when domestic violence happens to women they are hyperaware of the event happening again.

Men treat each isolated instance as just that... women look for a pattern of behavior. This goes back to the directness/indirectness difference between the sexes...

I feel that if women want equal rights and equal treatment, then they should also have to deal with the law on an equal manner... rather than considering their sex or their gender-association with their offspring. What is BEST for the children? What is BEST to be done in a case? Who was primarily at fault, irregardless of gender and difference between men and women?

True Equality isn't something that people tend to want... most people want enough equality to make them comfortable, without giving up what they've become used to.

It hurts me that I am going through these legal things right now... it hurts me deeply, because I love my son to death, I care for him, and it tears me up inside that his mother has outright said that her ideal is for me to disappear from her life, and by extension his.

Doesn't that hurt? Would you be hurt by it? Ask yourself this, those people who are reading this, would you be hurt that someone wants to cut you out of your child's life, all the while knowing full well that you LOVE them?

I worry for my son, I worry that his mother will engender within him bad examples of how to deal with others... of how to let your emotions and anger rule you. I worry my son will grow up to be a bully, or emotionally unstable... I worry that my son will grow up and find out that his mother spent all the money that was rightfully his upon adulthood. I am scared for my son... and I pity his mother, because she doesn't even realize how what she is doing might hurt him in the long run.

It is a terrible amount of pain to deal with, and as a man, much of it gets internalized. I battle with it privately, silently, trying to love and care for my son as best I can when I am with him.

I am scared that the law is not just, and that when it comes time for a custody hearing, I will be relegated to a worthless, dead beat dad who has a history of violent behavior... and all because I defended myself reflexively when I was attacked unprepared.

All I can do to help is to open myself and share these feelings, to be honest with others and hope that my story helps others realize that they aren't alone in this situation...

posted on Jan, 27 2006 @ 05:37 AM

Originally posted by WestPoint23
That's why you always, always, always, get a PRENUP!!! I cannot stress how important that is.

One other thing, it really bothers me that no matter the reason of the divorce, the woman most of the time gets the children. I don't understand that, a father cant take care of his own children?

I went the prenupt way on my second marriage and it did very little but piss of the judge after my lawyer explained to him why I did it. My first marriage was a diaster from the start and I did the right thing after she got pregnate and did not want an abortion. She was a RN/ nursing manager of 55 others below her. We had both agreed that after the baby was born, she would go back to work. She was making $ in the high 60's and she just quit. No explanation or nothing else matter of fact.
Long story short, she wound up getting about $450k after everything was done and over. She was the one who was clever enoungh to hide an affair on me when I went fishing every weekend. And guess who it was, her old boyfriend who she said she dumped prior to our marriage. The kicker is after doing DNA tests, it turned out to be her boyfriends baby and all the time I was thinking he was my son.
I took her back to court and she claimed everything under the sun that I was abusive, etc...and after all of this the judge let his decision stand. At this point, I told the judge he was wrong and this whole situitation was wrong, and I requested a change of venue and he gave me 15 days in jail for contempt and I didn't even get the chance to tell him to go to hell.The case remains in the appeals court here in Va.

The best advise I could give a future father to be would never let the woman know how much you own. Some things are going to be obivious of course, but find a way to put property in a mothers or fathers name and ask them to never talk about with the wife. Always have at the very least two back-up plans and if there is any doubt whatsoever in you two getting hitched go with your gut feeling because it is usually right.

posted on Jan, 27 2006 @ 05:53 AM
Crystalsword if i can give you any advice at all,it would be get a court order to stop her moving too far away from you to have a relationship with your son,i dont know how it is in ther US but that was my big mistake here in Australia.

Be a friend as much as you can be to your sons mother and try and make the best out of a bad situation for your son.

You have my prayers hopeing for the best for you all.

posted on Jan, 27 2006 @ 06:11 AM
I was as much a friend to her as I possibly could be. I gave her rides to work when she didn't have a vehicle, I provided her with a vehicle, I've helped pay her rent before....

Unfortunately at some point, she stopped listening to any advice or criticism. This effectively assassinated any communication we had, and she is not willing to negotiate or even converse civilly about any topic. She states how things are going to be, and brookes no quarrel, without a care for myself .

In a way, she's betrayed a lot of my faith in her, and betrayed a lot of people's faith in her.

Like I said before... I'm a man who prefers words and working out problems in a cooperative manner. That is what I want, what I wanted, what I've always tried to do with everyone.

posted on Jan, 27 2006 @ 06:31 AM
Thanks for sharing this FLYIN HIGH

Originally posted by FLYIN HIGH

I went the prenupt way on my second marriage and it did very little but piss of the judge after my lawyer explained to him why I did it.

I have no idea if we even have prenupt over here,but have heard in the states they are pretty useless.
Not that i would like to start a marriage that way anyway imho

She was the one who was clever enough to hide an affair on me when I went fishing every weekend. And guess who it was, her old boyfriend who she said she dumped prior to our marriage.

Similar here tho to me there are worse things than infidelity tho that would hurt also,but i would`nt end a relationship because of it.Trust me i had long enough in that relationship to come to that conclusion.

The kicker is after doing DNA tests, it turned out to be her boyfriends baby and all the time I was thinking he was my son.

I never liked to even ponder the thought but she said that they were mine when i asked and i`ll go with that.

I took her back to court and she claimed everything under the sun that I was abusive

I find it disturbing that yes we males can verbally be abrupt and abusive or physically,though when a women is she is held high as a hero standing up to the big aggressive male that always deserves it.Women know how to and use the victim card,sadly there are those who are victims through the fault of scum men that dont know how to treat them,and dont realise what they have when they have a good women.

, etc...and after all of this the judge let his decision stand. At this point, I told the judge he was wrong and this whole situitation was wrong, and I requested a change of venue and he gave me 15 days in jail for contempt and I didn't even get the chance to tell him to go to hell.The case remains in the appeals court here in Va.

I hope you have a better outcome next time around.

and if there is any doubt whatsoever in you two getting hitched go with your gut feeling because it is usually right.

This is good advice imo

[edit on 27-1-2006 by gps777]

posted on Jan, 27 2006 @ 07:04 AM
There is a large prejudice against fathers in the court, and I think everyone knows that. However, If you pay your childrens health care, pay for ANY schooling and have them at least 50% of the time, you can survive.

My ex left me, and she went the welfare route and immediately applied of Medicaid even though my son has been covered since in utero. This then tipped of the State attoreny who then file for support, IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THE MOTHER who files, thought it usually is.

I went to court and I walked out, without a lawyer, just myself, paying 57.00 a month. I framed it and it still hangs in my bedroom. She recently applied for a modification (which the sate can do auto every 3 years) and it was raised to 200 based on my new pay. THe nice part was that they looked at her job, and at her pay, and based on the fact she is a college grad (law school) they told her that she should make at least a certain amount which was put into the computation sheet. I still pay for all medical(state required) and have him 50% of the time, sat thru tues morning.

Never give up, and remember the most important thing is how often you see your children and the time you spend with them. A good judge will rarely not allow a father 'more visitation' if you ask. Good luck to all.

posted on Jan, 27 2006 @ 07:12 AM
These posts are proof from all on ATS that have contributed to this thread that something is wrong with our societies,when 1 out of 2 marriages fail and a good percentage of those would have children.

In Australia there was a call a while ago for women to have more babies and they would be rewarded by a lump sum payment courtesy of the Gov did`nt stipulate you have to married wonder how many males fell prey to that one?

I`m not at all surprised why guys dont want either to get married or have children if they know what happens if it fails.though the Gov wont deal with why males might not want to.Just give women incentive.

Before we met my partner came out of school and went to work in a large shopping centre,she says it was common for girls she worked with that admitted that they try and fall pregnant to someone anyone on purpose to get out of having to work.

Its now becoming hip imo to have a baby at school where some schools provide day care for them that i saw on a current affairs program.

These are more reasons why i believe its an attack on men women families to get at marriage,starting with the no blame laws that they through out.

[edit on 27-1-2006 by gps777]

posted on Jan, 27 2006 @ 07:19 AM
While I don't feel it's fair to say men get treated unfairly compared to women in any sort of overall sense (if we take into account our whole lives and modern society as a whole, women usually get the short end of the stick), but it is clear that - excluding cases of clear abuse - women are favored over men when it comes to divorce, questions of custody, and financial benefit.

I believe this is due to a social pendulum effect resulting from the genuine and abhorrent oppression women suffered for a very long time. It's similar to affirmative action (to be clear: I support affirmative action completely and feel society and the world would be much worse off without it) in the sense that it tries to compensate for something that can never truly be compensated for - long term inequality and oppression. The difference is that affirmative action applies to minorities, whereas women are the majority in our species (and thank goodness they are, I say! lol).

Affirmative action ensures that despite the very real and very strong remnant of racism and oppression people still suffer under, at least a certain number of all minority groups (in theory) will have access to opportunities that they otherwise would not. Without it, they stand to lose more than everyone else. Women on the other hand would not lose any more than men if the system treated both (sexism against women is still rampant too, despite public opinion) with a bit more even-handedness, and would not have their ability or means to live productive lives or be successful taken away because of it. Affirmative action is a state sanctioned program designed (again, in theory) to make our society better, more integrated, and more equal for all those who live in it together. Gender-based bias is none of those things.

For a long time women were treated unfairly in comparison to men, and now the pendulum has swung in the opposite direction. We need to find a happy medium. My father was arrested and held in jail for 9 months last year because he was accused by his wife of leaving the house unsanitary. They claimed he was arrested for 'driving with an expired license,' though it wasn't expired (I've seen it). I've also never heard of anyone being held that long for such a small misdemeanor either. It was insane. They took his DNA as well as hers because it was "CPS policy" (the CPS has taken his kids twice now, and each time he has proven his fitness in court, and his "expired license" case was even dismissed. His wife has obsessive compulsive disorder (she is diagnosed by her own - not court appointed or chosen by my father or anyone else - doctor) and is obsessed with cleanliness. If someone says a dirty word, she grabs a bottle of bleach and starts pouring it out and scrubbing the floor immediately because it has now been, "contaminated!" by the dirty word. They took the children without a warrant. Despite all of this, it still looks like she is going to get custody, and already gets child support from him even though she doesn't have it yet!

When my Mom divorced him (on completely valid grounds - I even condoned it. He was a terrible alcoholic, and it was causing us both psychological trauma (he never struck us or anything]. He has been sober for over ten years now) and it had to happen. But Mom didn't want to cause him any problems. She specifically insisted that they not try to get child support out of him, or harass him in any way. They told her if she didn't let them get child support out of him, they could take me away from her, so she agreed and has regretted it ever since because he has basically been impoverished since as a result. He's only now getting back on his feet. This is a man who had a child in Vietnam who was killed, another who's mother stole away without a word because her new boyfriend wanted custody (they have never been found!), and who has a fused disc in his spine and shrapnel in both arms from the war - yet they make him pay alimony with most of his VA check.

Equality of any kind is sad, whether one feels it's justified by past transgressions or not. I love women, respect them, and truly believe they are just as good as - and superior in many, many cases - any man walking the face of the Earth. I also believe they are being treated to legal favoritism, though.

[edit on 27-1-2006 by AceWombat04]

posted on Jan, 27 2006 @ 07:47 AM

Originally posted by AceWombat04

But Mom didn't want to cause him any problems. She specifically insisted that they not try to get child support out of him, or harass him in any way. They told her if she didn't let them get child support out of him, they could take me away from her, so she agreed and has regretted it ever since because he has basically been impoverished since as a result. He's only now getting back on his feet.

Thanks for your input Ace i agree with your thoughts,Your Mum sounds like a very special Lady and i hope your dad keeps it up,I`ve read this many a time where mothers disagree with the treatment from Gov dept`s towards the father but have no choice and are forced.

posted on Jan, 27 2006 @ 07:58 AM

Originally posted by FLYIN HIGH
The kicker is after doing DNA tests, it turned out to be her boyfriends baby and all the time I was thinking he was my son.
I took her back to court and she claimed everything under the sun that I was abusive, etc...and after all of this the judge let his decision stand. At this point, I told the judge he was wrong and this whole situitation was wrong, and I requested a change of venue and he gave me 15 days in jail for contempt and I didn't even get the chance to tell him to go to hell.The case remains in the appeals court here in Va.

Wow!!! She is pure evil. I thought I had it bad - in my previous marriage I had a similar thing. She cheated twice and I forgave it. After she cheated on me the third time, I found out that my 2 year old wasn't mine - she admitted.

I didn't spend time in jail (which I think was a bad choice by the judge), but she DID try to get child support from me.

This is the closest I have ever met another who had a similar sting from a female bee.

However, before Benevolent Heretic attacks me again, I should say that even though I have been screwed over big by women, I do not think of them as less than men. Evil is an individual thing, not a gender thing.

As far as hitting a woman, it is so not a good thing, but I did once - and was a reflex defense after being puched in the face. I can understand that. Our laws are supposed to say that we have a right to defend ourselves, but here is another picture that shows that men have now been put in second place.

Soon, us men will have fight for equal rights!! (kidding)

posted on Jan, 28 2006 @ 05:23 AM
Note: originally I typo'd by writing "equality of any kind is sad" lol. Obviously I meant INequality is sad. Just wanted to clarify that
(and it's too late to edit it now

[edit on 28-1-2006 by AceWombat04]

[edit on 28-1-2006 by AceWombat04]

posted on Mar, 8 2006 @ 03:42 PM

Originally posted by godservant
I am not saying that women are second to men, it is just that you can see how well it still woked with your grandparents.

Perhaps women initiate 2/3 of divorces

Where did you pull that figure from? Sources, please. And, even if that figure is correct, with men like you, Godservant, telling women they should take second place in their marriage, is it ANY WONDER?

Godservant you need to come out of the Dark Ages and into the real world.
Your statements are just plain misogyny whether you think so or not.


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