A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect ME to solve your problem. You're in EXACTLY the same position you were before we met, but somehow now, it's MY fault.

hehehehehe.The Truth is shocking isnt it.

A young man was hitchhiking across country. A Mercedes pulled up and a business man rolled down his window. He asked the hitchhiker, "Are you a Republican or a Democrat?" The young man replied, "Democrat". The driver told the lad to go to hell and sped off.

Next a business man in a Cadillac rolled down his window. Are you a Republican or a Democrat? The young man again replied that he was a Democrat. The business man again cursed the lad and sped off.

The man continued to walk when up pulled a nice BMW convertible with a beautiful blonde showing lots of leg in it. The blonde purred, "I'm going to Vegas and I'll give you a ride, but first you must tell me if you are a Republican or a Democrat." The young man pondered and thought "My daddy is going to kill me for this." The young man answered, "I'm a Republican!" She said, "Good, climb on in."

As they drove down the road the young man kept looking at all the leg and cleavage the blonde was showing. He slowly broke out into a sweat. The blonded noticed this and asked him what was the matter? The young man replied, "I've only been a Republican for 15 minutes and I already want to screw somebody!!"

See guys it works both ways.

Very nice jokes. Congratulations to both of you.

P.S : I like a little bit more the first one.

Originally posted by Thomas Crowne
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect ME to solve your problem. You're in EXACTLY the same position you were before we met, but somehow now, it's MY fault.

once again your brilliance is proved, tom

republicans are the reason this country is falling apart

Is James McMahn on Global Ignore, or is it a momentary aberration?

Wits versus tits, hmmmm. i'll go with TC's joke

seems to me that both stories are still funny if you switch "republican" and "democrat" around.