Here are some facts about Chuck Norris!
You can see more at www.chucknorrisfacts.com...
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the **** down.
Jeeves asks Chuck Norris.
If Mr. T pittyed someone at the same time that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked them, the universe would cease to exist!
Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass . . . at night!
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."
Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".
Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.
Think of a hot woman. Chuck Norris did her.
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris does not know about this website. If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.
1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability
of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
4. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris
you may be only seconds away from death.
5..Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized,
Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The
devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have
seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
6. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked
names for his left and right legs.
7. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
8. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
9. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15
cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer
only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance
10. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for
11. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
12. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK
assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullet
[edit on 1-5-2006 by Poison]