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I know the answers to everything (ask me!)

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posted on Jan, 18 2006 @ 05:37 AM
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Originally posted by Mr101Hazardous

Originally posted by WolfofWar
Untill 1:02pm EST I will not be answering questions (school started back up. Vlah!)
school ?????????

How can one that knows all have to go to school? lol


albiet I already know everything, so this whole "college degree" is for symattics at best, but alas, apparently employers want "real world applications" to knowledge, and I cant just put down on my resume; "God of all mortals" or "Seer of Knowledge" (I've tried.)




posted on Jan, 18 2006 @ 05:58 AM
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Where Am I right Now?

Don't tell me somthing like "at your computer, or on earth"! I want the Name of the building and the floor number.

Tim



posted on Jan, 18 2006 @ 09:34 AM
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Originally posted by BlackGuardXIII
Are you asleep?
You can't awaken a man pretending to be sleeping.
Why is it that if you want to live to be 100 you have to quit doing the things that make you want to live to be 100?





I never sleep.

You also cant pretend to awaken a man whos really sleeping.

Because if your body is have to much fun, it forgets to do its job.



posted on Jan, 18 2006 @ 09:36 AM
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Originally posted by Beer_Guy
Subject: sex and alcohol
You drink "just the right amount" and you can go for hours.
One ounce more than that and you can't do anything.
Why?





You can't fill your body up past the full line before it starts to get clogged.



posted on Jan, 18 2006 @ 09:47 AM
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Originally posted by ghost
Where Am I right Now?

Don't tell me somthing like "at your computer, or on earth"! I want the Name of the building and the floor number.

Tim




well, your sortof in your own little dreamworld right now, everything you live for is an illusion, and your apartment isn't real. So, for me to say what building you live at, I'd have to say nowhere, because it doesnt really exist....your not on the map, its a loophole in the paperwork...sorry.

But, on the plus side, you can secede from the universe.



posted on Jan, 18 2006 @ 09:53 AM
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Originally posted by iori_komei
Hmm, yes I have a question that I have been pondering, and hitting my head repeatedly on the wall over.

CHEESECAKE
Oh right, sorry all that headbanging has made me a bit screwy.

If all spots are spats, and all spats are klips and 50% of klips are LoLo (crazy), how many spats are sane?




Doin this is rapid fire!.

All spates are insane, realizing how useless and pointless theyre lives are, and how utterly meaningless all of their existence is, they slowly all go insane and start singing showtunes.



How big is my hand? You see, when i move it closer to my face, its much larger than it was before. You could say, measure it in inches, but that is false, you see, inches also, get much larger, so large infact, that when right in front of my eye, it is so massive, i cant even see across it. So I ask you, is my hand as big as it is in front of my eye, or when it is at an arms distance away?




Your hand size fluctuates on how many you blow it up. Little known fact, all human hands are actually inflattable balloons, yeah, the whole creation process was rushed because the O.C. was coming back on after the commercial...



Here is one that has boggled my mind for a long time. Dolphins, what the hell is up with em. Thy are so mysterious.




Dolphins are actually aliens from the planet Dolphania XXVII. Earth used to be a magical tropical resort/theme park/ petting zoo. Well, they forgot to fill the mothership with fuel, and they were on E. At the time, we we'rent even intelligent enough to harvest fuel for them, and the closet gas station was Mars, and they were a total rip off (7.80 a gallon? WTF?!) so the dolphins decided to live here, and secretly write all broadway dance numbers.



I have a good one for you. Is sleeper full of lol or crap about the ET things??




Yup, he's totally full of it...heres what really happened. You see, the greys came from zeti reticuli (now known as "buddweisia") on a beer run. They feel in love with the stuff when FDR threw an intergalactic keggar. (it was supposed to be a joke about how "awesome" his keggars were, but, well, the aliens tookit literally.) Well, the greys had a drinking contest with FDR, the greys one, FDR said the greys were lamer then his legs, but they all had a good laugh and went home, sortof.

They decided to drink one beer in every city. So they spent some time getting drunk, making crop circles, crank calling people, and eventually in 47, they were alittle too tipsy, and got a DUI accident over Roswell. Ever since then though, ET have been known to have awesome parties, which are set are area 51 every year or two.



posted on Jan, 18 2006 @ 10:35 AM
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Ok, who would win in a fight: God or Chuck Norris?

How many roundhouse kicks would be recorded in such a battle?

Can Chuck Norris bend space and time to his will?

If Larry Beads left his house walking east at 3.333 miles per hour and Chuck Norris is waiting five miles east of him, assuming the man makes no stops, how long til roundhouses ensue? And, adjusting for there being a 15 mph wind coming from the north, where will the man land?

How can you explain Jason Voorhies power walk in the movies?

Is there anything that lives under my bed?

Is chivalry dead and did women kill it?

How much wood could good Chuck chuck if good Chuck could chuck wood?



posted on Jan, 18 2006 @ 01:30 PM
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In your reply to Ghost you said his apartment wasn't real and it didn't exist. Well if you so sure that what you said is true than how can you be sure that we exist also. We could just be figments of someones imagination. And your life too can also be a huge illusion. Try answering that one!



posted on Jan, 18 2006 @ 01:47 PM
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Is it physically possible to lick your own nose?



posted on Jan, 18 2006 @ 02:15 PM
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Originally posted by WolfofWar
So let them out, I shall answer, and I, the great, all knowing WolfofWar, shall answer these questions of life.


Where can I find her?



posted on Jan, 18 2006 @ 06:16 PM
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Originally posted by chissler
Is it physically possible to lick your own nose?

the point is....... who would wont to?



posted on Jan, 18 2006 @ 08:18 PM
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Originally posted by WolfofWar

Originally posted by BlackGuardXIII
Are you asleep?




I never sleep.



Well, then the question no one can truthfully answer yes to is doubly impossible for you?
Is 1/9th the same as .1 repeater?
On the same topic, is .9 repeater the same as one?



posted on Jan, 19 2006 @ 05:21 AM
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Originally posted by WolfofWar

Originally posted by ghost
Where Am I right Now?

Don't tell me somthing like "at your computer, or on earth"! I want the Name of the building and the floor number.

Tim




well, your sortof in your own little dreamworld right now, everything you live for is an illusion, and your apartment isn't real. So, for me to say what building you live at, I'd have to say nowhere, because it doesnt really exist....your not on the map, its a loophole in the paperwork...sorry.

But, on the plus side, you can secede from the universe.


Nice try! Sorry, you are wrong! I'm not in an apartment! I'm writing you from an office at UMBC (the Same office I wrote from yesterday). The Address here is:
Sonhime Hall
1000 Hiltop Circle
Baltimore MD. 21250

I'm in an office on the 5th floor. Oh and BTW I'm very much in the Real World! Thank You!

That's one wrong! Call me when your Pschic powers come back from vactaion. Next Reply?

Tim



posted on Jan, 19 2006 @ 09:42 AM
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Answer this:
What is everywhere, everything, omnipotent, non-existant, universally inclusive, and the answer to this question?



posted on Jan, 19 2006 @ 12:49 PM
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Heres a few to chew on Wolf...

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is a boxing ring square

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?

Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?


Edit : One more, why do fridges have lights inside and freezers dont?

[edit on 19-1-2006 by Merkeva]



posted on Jan, 19 2006 @ 01:45 PM
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Why does inflammable and flammable mean the same thing?
And valuable and invaluable too?
If Sunday is the seventh day why is it first on the calendar?
Why is it called life insurance when it doesn't protect you from dying?
Is it true that they only abolished the word 'slavery'? Seems like it to me somedays.
Why is it that when someone is about to slam you they start off with:
No offense, but
Nothing against you but
Nothing personal, but
Don't take this the wrong way, but
then they slam you?
If pro is the opposite of con what is the opposite of progress?
If marriage is a commitment and an institution does that mean getting married is getting committed to an institution?
Why do people say, 'I'll keep my mouth shut'? I don't know what to say to that, " Why didn't you then?'
And of course, why do packages of hotdogs and hotdog buns come in different quantities?
Why do you need a licence to drive a car, but not to raise kids? That seems a little more important.



posted on Jan, 20 2006 @ 04:48 PM
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who will win on sunday? denver or bronco's?


WHICH CAME FIRST>> THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG?

[edit on 20-1-2006 by PinkRibbon06]



posted on Jan, 20 2006 @ 04:54 PM
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Denver and the Broncos will finish the game in a tie. They will leave the field with the same score. You can confidently wager on that.



posted on Jan, 20 2006 @ 04:56 PM
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To bad the NFL doesnt allow ties in playoff games... they would go to 40X Overtime if necessary.. no ties..



posted on Jan, 21 2006 @ 04:54 AM
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AMAZING, my hands are baloons, and not only that, they cant be poped! THAT GIVES ME AN IDEA! Ok Smart man, how much could i sell my hands for on ebay, if i sold them as unpopable baloons instead of as a human hand? Please respond with an honest answer, as im kind of wanting to get drunk, but i dont have cash for any drinkies until payday.



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