Is there any kind of government agency for the protection of dictionaries? Memoryshock’s dictionary clearly should be placed in foster care before
it is forced to contort itself any further for his amusement.
All of the definitions which Memoryshock has provided are correct; however by a clever sleight of tongue he has altered those definitions in
quote: Descendant 2 : proceeding from an ancestor or source
The descendant comes from the source, not the descendant’s information. Therefore carolers themselves, not only the original idea for their
activity, must come from Satan in order for them to be Satan’s scion. Indeed my opponent has conceded that many now make up their own carols, and
therefore in this modern age even more so than ever before, it cannot be claimed that Carolers are Satan’s scion, no matter how neurotic they may
If only the inspiration or guidance comes from Satan, then the carolers are not the scion of Satan. My opponent must in fact prove that carolers
entered existence by Satan’s creation. To prove this one must disregard the Bible’s testimony, and without that testimony there is no evidence for
the existence of Satan at all.
This fact also applies to the caroler who has been put forward as an example, namely Kenny G. The “smoking gun” to which my opponent refers is
also clearly not an act of the devil. Since when does the devil have a sense of humor? God is the one who classified all of the best things in life as
sins, God is the one who invented the giraffe, God is responsible for televangelism; clearly if anyone in this universe has a sense of humor, it’s
God. Therefore it seems likely that Kenny G’s ability to remain oblivious to the ridiculous appearance of his hair is clearly God’s way of putting
a humorous silver lining on the black cloud of that man’s voice.
As to the stress of the Holiday Season, my opponent would have you believe that carols are the cause, but he has done nothing to challenge the readily
observable cause that I have pointed out. The sinister commercial plot which my opponent previously attempted to associate with carols is clearly the
source of holiday stress, and as I have stated previously, caroling is a neurotic behavior intended to relieve that stress by activity.
Carols, far from being reinforcement of learned behaviors, express a longing to depart from the preconceived notion that holidays are a time to get
out your checkbook, stampede your fellow man at Walmart, and max out your credit cards on stuff that your kids will probably break the minute they
quote: There is nothing innocent about this carol….indeed, it is a blatant attempt to associate the popular expressions of happiness with commercial
enterprise so as to perpetuate doubt and anxiety with regard to the presentation and reception of gifts….and the carolers are a partial delivery
system for these manipulations…..
My opponent here acknowledges that commerce is indeed the source of holiday stress. Commercialism is the learned behavior which has made Christmas the
Devil’s holiday. This behavior is not learned from caroling. It is not carols which originated the idea that the day after Christmas is one of the
busiest shopping days of the year. There are no carols about stampedes at Walmart. There are no carols about buying on credit. Corporate America is
responsible for the stress of Christmas. Christmas Carols are a manifestation of the misery that Corporate America has wrought on these poor souls who
can never get enough of the one thing that they have been taught is most important in life: material wealth.
The fixation on material wealth did not come from Christmas Carols.
Let’s see what Christmas Carols are about:
“All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth” – Needs over luxuries- if you’ve already got your two front teeth, be glad for what you’ve
“Away in a manger” – A carol about the very first Christmas, which was celebrated happily in poverty.
Or here’s a good one: “Tiding of Comfort and Joy”- "
"Fear not," then said the angel,
"Let nothing you affright,
This day is born a Savior,
Of virtue, power, and might;
So frequently to vanquish all
The friends of Satan quite";
As Jesus asked after casting out the unclean spirit into the swine which drowned themselves, “How can Satan cast out Satan?”
Christmas Carols are the equivalent of covering your eyes so you won’t see something that scares you. They are a neurotic outburst on the part of
Satan’s victims. They are an act of denial and the last refuge of vanquished souls which have sold themselves for too little and often not even
Exhibit A: Holy Water and Garlic do not harm this caroler.