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Annoying People

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posted on Dec, 22 2005 @ 11:55 PM
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1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."



[edit on 22-12-2005 by CelticHeart]

[edit on 22-12-2005 by CelticHeart]




posted on Dec, 23 2005 @ 01:53 AM
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I loved every one of those babe. You made Me smile.



posted on Dec, 23 2005 @ 02:00 AM
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I've done 1, 3, 6, 8 and I want to do 25.




posted on Dec, 23 2005 @ 06:08 AM
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LMAO- i have done number 19 alot lol



posted on Dec, 23 2005 @ 09:11 AM
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i didnt want to say but i have done number 19 a few times....

lol you remember the joke but not the ending, its not the end of the world....


oni x x



posted on Dec, 23 2005 @ 09:29 AM
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26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.



posted on Dec, 23 2005 @ 10:31 AM
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That is hillarious! I've heard the "beep" thing somewhere before. Funny stuff.



posted on Dec, 23 2005 @ 11:26 AM
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Oh, no! I am an annoying person as I am guilty of the following:

3, 7, something similar to 10, 11, 12, 13, 16, 19, (also, I enjoy laughing at all the wrong parts of a person's joke while dead-panning the punch line), I have not done 20, but rest assured, that is on the agenda for tonight's entertainment at work), 23, 29, who hasn't done 32, 34, 35, 36, and 45.

I suppose that is why I have received only two Christmas cards this year; one from someone who doesn't know me very well and an old army buddy who hasn't seen me in a long time!



posted on Dec, 23 2005 @ 12:10 PM
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lol - i think its funny myself!!!




Originally posted by Oni x x
i didnt want to say but i have done number 19 a few times....

lol you remember the joke but not the ending, its not the end of the world....


oni x x



posted on Dec, 23 2005 @ 01:41 PM
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Oh my. Working in the Tech world, I use #24 just to shut people up sometimes. :shk:

That, and #32, and #47. Oh yeah.

I have also walked up behind someone and "sneezed" in their hair. Works best when standing in a long line.



posted on Dec, 23 2005 @ 02:15 PM
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Are we allowed to submit some of our own? o well...

50. ask complete strangers to pull your finger

51. after every phrase while speaking say "you know"

52. wear your hat backwards

53. pretend your'e hard of hearing

54. [censored]



posted on Dec, 23 2005 @ 02:31 PM
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Dudes that grunt and groan as they're dropping the kids off at the pool in a public restroom. Can't they do that without all the sound effect?

Dudes that don't courtesy flush.

Dudes that want to talk to you while you're both using the urinals.

Peace



posted on Dec, 23 2005 @ 02:55 PM
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51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.



posted on Dec, 23 2005 @ 04:34 PM
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In response to the bathroom annoyances...

I am female, but even I know of the rudimentary bathroom rules of men:

1. No talking between urinals.
2. Eyes front, never down, unless zipping up.
3. Comments for BM's are not appreciated. (ie: "Oh, that was a big one!")
4. Never attempt to shake someone's hand in the bathroom. Ever.

Am I close?



posted on Dec, 23 2005 @ 06:55 PM
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cool! i definetly gonna start the 16 as soon as the friends asleep in the living-room gonna wake up! i did the nummer 39 too many times, by putting food out of dog-reach...nice hairy surprises, though



posted on Dec, 23 2005 @ 08:10 PM
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I don't know whether or not I have done any of these, but that is my New Year's resolution. I'm going to start with #18.



posted on Dec, 23 2005 @ 08:14 PM
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the last 25



76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact.

98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.



posted on Dec, 23 2005 @ 08:48 PM
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That would be a hoot, CelticHeart! If I lived in an appartment, I think I would have to try that! If nothing else, it'd be a different way to meet new people!



posted on Dec, 23 2005 @ 09:36 PM
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Originally posted by Thomas Crowne


That would be a hoot, CelticHeart! If I lived in an appartment, I think I would have to try that! If nothing else, it'd be a different way to meet new people!



Oh, I don't live in an apartment. I have a house, but I'm going to declare my land an independent nation and everytime my bothersome neighbor decides to cross over, I'm going to yell "You're invading and that is an act of war."



posted on Dec, 24 2005 @ 12:45 AM
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no. 58 should work well with my co-workers...what a hoot! Thanks CelticHeart for the post.



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