...You might be a Canadian

Jeff Foxworthy made a career off of these great jokes. Something like, if your working tv sits on top of your nonworking tv, You might be a redneck

So lets start a good ol' Canadian thread to make fun of ourselves or those who want to take a jab.

Anything that could consider us Canadians...


The most recognizable face in the country is a hockey player... You might be Canadian!



If you cried more then once about the NHL lock out, You might be Canadian.



When the best thing on tv is the latest beer commercial, You might be Canadian.




Thats all I got for now, I hope this catches on. I can see a few laughs coming from this.

Take your shot!

If you say "eh" more than once in a sentence, you just may be a canadian.

If you call people from Quebec "quebecequa"(SP?), you may be a canadian.





Those are all I could think of, IMO, redneck ones are easier to come up with.

if your canadian you live in igloos?
haha... or so im told...

but.. how do i get ont he internet if i live with walls of ice.. :|

gotta love the spam

IF

You dismiss all beers under 6% alcohol as "for children and the elderly..."

Your graduation formal dress was made of flannel...

You know more than 3 guys named Gordon...

You can do the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skinna-marinki-dinki-do"...

You think -10 C is mild weather...

You know what a tuque is...

You carry way too much pocket change...

You consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by...

You have worn shorts and a parka at the same time...

You think that ketchup is a little too spicy...

You might be Canadian.

Luv ya Canada!

You might be Canadian if your national passenger line has a locomotive painted up like this.........

You dismiss all beers under 6% alcohol as "for children and the elderly..."

So true

Your graduation formal dress was made of flannel...

Cmon now were not that bad. I wore shorts n sneakers

You think -10 C is mild weather...

It was close to this today, like the geese this is mild

You know what a tuque is...

No when a tuque is in fashion

You have worn shorts and a parka at the same time...

On more than one occasion, I still see no problem with it

Luv ya Canada!

Amen!

You think the last good song recorded was Guess Who's "Share the Land".

You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Your local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.

You know that the four seasons mean: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road work.

You can steer a car with your knees while holding a Molson's in one hand and an ice scraper in the other - scraping the exterior of the windshield while you drive.

You live in a "beach town" and have to eat your brothers and sisters to stay alive during the winter months.

You've ever had your tongue frozen to something.

You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.

The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.

At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles a meat processing plant.

Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.

You know which leaves make for good toilet paper.

When abroad, you have a cold fear that somebody might mistake you for an American. You make a point of deliberately being kind to locals just to make it clear you are a Canadian.

[ok, I'm done now]

Hmmmm... Most of these could describe my home state of Wisconsin as well!!! The sailors on the great lakes actually go so far as to call Wisconsin's Lake Michigan Shoreline the Canadian border.

Originally posted by yeahright
When abroad, you have a cold fear that somebody might mistake you for an American. You make a point of deliberately being kind to locals just to make it clear you are a Canadian.

This also works for me when I'm over seas and don;t feel like talking politics... I say I'm Canadian and make sure to put the phrase "heh" after every sentence. Works like a charm.

You also might be a Canadian if... When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.

Common!!! You know its true!!!

You know you are Canadian when you have a Pratt and Whitney J-57 turbojet engine strapped to the front of your vehicle so you can melt the ice off of the road.

If your hat has any indication of being a former racoon.

If speak French that would make a Frenchman smack you.

If you vacation in Maine during the winter.

If you use duct tape for more than 25% of all actions.

If you think hockey is Not Just A Sport.

You might be a Canadian if you look like this guy...



Or if your keyboard looks like this...



Or, you might be a Canadian if you know these off the top of you head.
(testing myself here)

Avril Lavigne - singer
Pamela Anderson - great lungs...but she can't act
Shania Twain - country was never the same
Nelly Furtado - good tunes
Estella Warren - OMG hotness
Shannon Tweed - Old skool hotness
Neve Campbell - Wild Things with Denise Richards anyone?
Keanu Reeves - Matrix man
Alanis Morissette - One angry singer
Peter North - well, yeah...kind of famous
Bryan Adams - he's written a lot you don't know about
Jim Carrey - funny man
Natasha Henstridge - excellent species
Jennifer Tilly - bit nutty but done a lot of movies
Sarah McLachlan - singer
Kristin Kreuk - Smallville's hottie (the blond is hotter)
Dan Aykroyd - big time funny man
James Cameron - Terminator to Titanic?
Elisha Cuthbert - hottie
Kim Cattrall - older hottie (for some)
Hayden Christensen - Anakin anyone?
James Doohan - more power Scotty!
Linda Evangelista - model hottie
Brendan Fraser - maybe one good movie out of 20?
Michael J. Fox - back to the future
Lorne Greene - the original Adama
Tom Green - nutjob
Wayne Gretzky - hockey's Jordan
William Gibson - scifi author
Michael Ironside - hero from the old series "V" and voice of Splinter Cell
Elias Koteas - Tenage Mutant Turtle's "Casey" the nutjob
Eugene Levy - American Pie funny man
Rich Little - master of the voices
Todd McFarlane - comic book master
Carrie-Anne Moss - matrix hottie
Mike Myers - Austin Powers
Lorne Michaels - SNL anyone
Eric MacCormack - Will from Will & Grace
Rick Moranis - Bob MacKenzie
Dave Thomas - Doug MacKenzie (not the burger dude)
Leslie Nielsen - Naked Gun
Matthew Perry - Canadian friend
Anna Paquin - Rogue from the X-men
Jason Priestley - admit it...you watched 90210
Ivan Reitman - movie director
Paul Shaffer - bald band dude for Dave Letterman
Donald Sutherland - great actor
William Shatner - greater actor
Martin Short - over the top actor
Kiefer Sutherland - 24 star
Scott Speedman - vampires fight werewolves
Alex Trebek - who is the host of a game show?
Alan Thicke - his influence on wife Susan Summers gave us the thighmaster
Amanda Tapping - Thomas Crowne's favorite Canadian
Michael Wincott - plays a good bad guy but accidentally shot Brandon Lee.

If scrubbing the ice ahead of a pushed stone is considered a "sport"....

Just what the heck is it with you Canucks and "Curling"???

You might be a Canadian if you are still rooting for the leafs even though they haven't won the cup for 40 years.

You might be a Canadian if you said Je ne comprends pas at least 1000 times in school

[edit on 18-4-2007 by aaronman]

If you've converted your cold war bunkers into a grow ops, you might be a Canadian.

If your greatest complaint against Asian immigration is the crappy weed, you might be a Canadian.

If you voted and still don't feel represented, you might be a Canadian.

If you think Don Cherry is fashionable, you're definitely not French Canadian.