My ATS / Personal Mission

I remember writing something in my journal a while back that stated "If I want to change the world, I have to start changing my self first."

Yes wanting to change the world is one of my goals, and yes that is a lofty ambition indeed. However, as I've grown and matured over the years I've realized that to make any impact in this world we must first overcome our own weaknesses and limitations, and start with defining our INNERSPACE before we can alter what is happening in our OUTERSPACE (no I am not talking NASA).

I am a product of 27 years of stimuli and responses. I am pretty hard on myself, and sometimes it's to a point where it cripples me from making any decisions. I am trying to figure out what makes me tick, and how my thought processes are affecting my life. So what is my mission?

What I am about to undertake this Weds, is a 11 day course in Vipissana meditation. Roughly translated it is the art of self knowing, or being self aware. During this 11 day *free* course in meditation I will have to implement some pretty difficult measures, as they are part of the course.

they are:
1. No talking to anyone else at the course, instructors only and only during certain times. Called NOBLE SILENCE.. no gesturing either.
2. 10 hrs of daily meditation, both in groups and individually. BTW the day starts at 4am.
3. Strictly vegetarian diet. I am not a vegetarian yet have dabbled with the notion for some time, however, how my body will react without me is a mystery.
4. No sex, no substances, no journals or books. No music, no cell phone. No scented deordorant.
5. Isolation. This center happens to be remote enough, no store for miles.

I am scared because this will surely be a challenge, but I feel it is something I must do. I am going to be in my own head for 10 strraight days, and I am hoping to do some housecleaning, as I have many neurosis I am ready to deal with.

After I am done I am going to post on here and give everyone some insight into what I went through and how my thought patterns have changed. I am looking forward to becoming a spiritual warrior, and want to help combat the ignorance in this world. I will try to live up to the ATS motto of "Deny Ignorance" and start first with tackling my own. So I am going to call this ATS personal mission #1 (just cuz it sounds cool), kind of my own personal "project mayhem" type of thing.

I look forward to sharing the results with the ATS community.

[edit on 5-12-2005 by robinm]

Wow.
I think that is rather brave of you--even though you admit you are scared.

What is the place like? Dormitories? Solitary cells? Dress code?

And it's totally without monetary cost? Free? How did you find such a place?

Here is the sight for the one in Ontario, which I will be attending. There is one in southern California which may be of interest to you.

www.ontario-dhamma.org...

My friend is a buhdist living out in California, I was asking him about meditation technique and he suggested this place. They do these courses for free and they are sponsered only through members who have gone through the course, if you are new you can make a donation after the 10 day course although it is OK if you don't.

Since I am unemployed and have nothing better to do with my time I might as well try it out, I have nothing to lose right?



[edit on 6-12-2005 by robinm]

That's definitely the right attitude.

I know, personally, that the most enriching time of my life came when I was unemployed, seemingly without prospect of any kind, usually including supper--but the lessons I learned in that time period were priceless and well worth the grumbling stomach.

I'd say it is awesomely fortunate for you to find this place, at a time when physical as well as mental circumstances bid you to take advantage of the opportunity.

Thanks for the link, and good luck...may the light that dawns in your 'within' make the sun look like a spark!

Keep us posted!

Thanks for the kind words Queenie! Your a class act through and through. I will revive this thread and share my expereices when I get back (around the 20th).

Welcome to Zentown, population me!