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Originally posted by GradyPhilpott
Vincent: Want some bacon?
Jules: No man, I don't eat pork.
Vincent: Are you Jewish?
Jules: Nah, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all.
Vincent: Why not?
Jules: Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.
Vincent: Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.
Jules: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy [animal]. Pigs sleep and root in [feces]. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got enough sense enough to disregard its own feces.
Vincent: How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces.
Jules: I don't eat dog either.
Vincent: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?
Jules: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.
Vincent: Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?
Jules: Well we'd have to be talkin' about one charmin'...pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?
ONe of my Faves too...top 10 material..
Sgt. Lee- "You wanna hear the secret of Vietnam? The secret of Vietnam's simple... I loved it. Goddamned turkey shoot. Whole damn thing was nothin' but fun. I f**kin' well loved it. Everyone else woulda too, if we hadda won. And I did all sorts of s**t. Everything you've been doin' here and more... lots more." Buffalo Soldiers
Col. Marshall- " Seem to recall this General Hood. He was involved in some disastrous battle and lost a leg didn't he?"
Col. Berman- "I wouldn't say it was disastrous."
Col. Marshall- "And an arm. He lost an arm as well didn't he."
Col. Berman- "No, he didn't lose an arm, he lost the use of it. He kept the actual arm." Buffalo Soldiers
C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia! We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again! We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia! It's like we're going into Wisconsin!
Careful you dont step in the bullsh*t
I told those fudge packers I like Michael Boltons music.
Withnail- (Reading from paper)"In a world exclusive interview, thirty-three year old shot-putter Jeff Wode, who weighs three hundred and seventeen pounds, admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids, drugs banned in sport. 'He used to get in bad tempers and act daft', said his wife,'He used to pick on me. But now he's stopped, he's much better in our sex life and in our general life.'"
*Marwood pours water from the kettle into a bowl and goes back into the living room. Withnail follows, becoming interested in the newspaper story*
Withnail- "Jesus Christ, this huge, thatched head with it's earlobes and cannonball is now considered sane. Jeff Wode is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about.(Waves paper at Marwood) Look at him. Look at Jeff Wode. His head must weigh fifty pounds on it's own."
*Withnail stands in front of a mirror, combing his lank hair back. Marwood sits on the sofa and spoons coffee from the bowl. Withnail is becoming fascinated by Jeff Wode*
Withnail- "Imagine the size of his balls. Imagine getting into a fight with the f**ker."
Marwood- "Please, I don't feel good."
Withnail- "That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Jeff. No, he'd like a bit of pleading. Adds spice to it. In fact, he'd probably tell you what he was gonna do before he did it.(Withnail acts out scene) 'I'm gonna pull your head off.' 'No, please don't pull my head off.' 'I'm gonna pull your head off because I don't like your head.'" - Withnail and I