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Since 1949, Sandia National Laboratories has developed technological solutions to support our national security and to counter national and global threats.
Through science and technology, people, infrastructure, and partnerships, Sandia's mission is to meet national needs in five key areas:
* Nuclear Weapons »
ensuring the stockpile is safe, secure, reliable, and can support the United States' deterrence policy
* Nonproliferation and Assessments »
reducing the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction, the threat of nuclear accidents, and the potential for damage to the environment
* Military Technologies and Applications »
addressing new threats to national security
* Energy and Infrastructure Assurance »
enhancing the surety of energy and other critical infrastructures
* Homeland Security »
helping to protect our nation against terrorism
Sandia is a government-owned/contractor operated (GOCO) facility. Lockheed Martin manages Sandia for the U.S. Department of Energy's National Nuclear Security Administration. We seek collaborative partnerships on emerging technologies that support our mission.
My, my, my!, what on Earth?, I wondered.
Then — Woops! — I realized it wasn’t Earth at all. This inquiry had to come from somewhere else, far, far away. But the moon wasn’t full and there was no hot, dry wind out of the desert — the kind that drives people mad.
Crystals, maybe. . . from Santa Fe or Taos. Or leaf mold. Or cow chip mushrooms. Or one of those places you hear about where a confluence of “forces” creates a window that affords a view into the gigauniverse of knowledge. Or maybe just a nutcase with no new conspiracies. We see a few of those in our office.
“He” sent a couple of inquiries a few days ago — about 10 days apart, one to Media Relations and one to the Labs webmaster — both wondering about secret tunnels and underground facilities connecting Sandia to Los Alamos via Dulce, N.M.
“Has a UFO at any time ever been brought to your facility?” the first one asked. “Are there underground facilities at Sandia? What purpose do they serve? Do you have any communications with the multi-level underground facility labs in Dulce, New Mexico? Thanks!”
Note the sign-off exclamation point. That guy is really EXCITED about this.
Then this: “Sandia Webmaster, would you please forward my question to a Sandia public affairs officer or someone who works at the Sandia labs? Thank you!
“Does the Sandia National Labs facility connect to a multi-level underground facility located in Dulce, New Mexico, 1-3 miles under the Archuleta Mesa region, as well as LANL via an underground tube shuttle system?” And another exclamatory “Thank you!”
The latter inspired a response from one of our group’s wags — fictitious, of course. It wasn’t sent outside — you don’t like to encourage this species — but it was circulated through our offices and amused all of us for a while. Its high points:
“Actually, the secret tunnel is all about . . . the Naivete bean. . . . We need an extract from this bean to manufacture propulsion systems for rockets. . . .
“Obviously we couldn’t dig a secret tunnel under Santa Fe for transport of the beans to the labs, so in 1961 we turned to Dulce.
. . . We dug only at night to escape detection by Soviet spy satellites.
. . . [And] for nearly 20 years some 16,000 Sandia and Los Alamos employees smuggled the dirt from the tunnel out of the labs [in their shoes] and covertly spread it all over Albuquerque and Northern New Mexico. As a result, [Albuquerque] has risen at least a few inches since 1961.”
And, it wrapped up, “Yes, the secret tunnel and tube shuttle do exist. However, the multi-level underground facility is an exaggeration. That’s probably a reference to another secret facility near Abiquiu.”
Well, the pay-raise package may be a little light this year, but we at least have some fun at work.
— Howard Kercheval (844-7842, MS 0165, email@example.com)