posted on Nov, 10 2005 @ 08:16 PM
I don't think I'd tell anyone, either. Except for my step-daughter--only because I'd have to give her the charge of looking after my mom (who's
80--I live with her and love her dearly) in my place. I know she loves her as I do and so I trust her to do right and be responsible toward the main
things (my mom's happiness and sense of safety.)
I think I would write a few letters, not many, and not long--because even as I wouldn't need to burden anyone before I left, at the same time, I
wouldn't want to leave those things unsaid that should be said (one more 'I love you', you were my truest friend, thank you, and yada yada
If I had any money, at all (which is a big IF) I'd give it away to someone in need. I'd say I'd give my stuff away, but I really don't have
much--I've given most of it away or otherwise unburdened myself already. I would leave something for my dog to sniff so she wouldn't get lonely for
me. I'd go to the river and look for a sandhill crane, and listen to Led Zeppelin and Jimi Hendrix, in memory of all the times I'd been there
before. I might carve my name in one of the pecan trees in our yard.
Other than that, I think I'd just wait (inwardly celebrating--I think I would be rather excited and I'd have to try to conceal that fact.)
Most people don't want to think about such things--I must honestly say that I'd be eager for the adventure. I love my life--it is truly good; full
of simple happiness and true peace of mind. But I don't believe that death is the end--I feel certain that it is more like a doorway--the threshold
to the other side which will make this present reality seem like a plastic dream. If I'm wrong (possible but not probable, IMO) then that's okay,
too--I'd rather leave this world in my prime as opposed to wasting away from it, day by day, confined to a bed in a sickroom somewhere. No matter
what, I'd be happy till the end and have no regrets, unfinished business, or unsettled grudges.