posted on Nov, 5 2005 @ 11:54 AM
Ok, obviously I hardly, if ever, post, but I just had to get this out. It's sort of a long break up story, but I'll still feel better getting this
out. It's probably almost too crazy to follow...but I'd like to share and get some feed back and advice if possible...
Anyway, me and this girl met at work back in early August. (We both work at Walmart. I'm in electronics and she does the cell phone thing)We never
really formally introduced ourselves, we clicked right away. It was like we had been friends forever.
She would always bump up against me and pretty much make me talk to her. After a few weeks of all this, we finally swapt phone numbers, and eventually
Now I'm not gonna go on about everything that happened so I'll skip forward a while.
Everything was great until we started having some miscommunication and misunderstandings. See, we only saw eachother really only at work, which was
only like 3 days of the week. And it got to where we would only talk 30 minutes a day, a few days of the week. So we never really had good chances to
talk. So all this started to cause some tension and we would argue some, but never really fight "fight".
An example was when she told me she was going to a Halloween party. A few days later she was inviting some guy at work to go to this party. This left
an akward feeling in my gut. Then I made a huge mistake...
See, like I said earlier we never really got to talk a lot, so all kinds of emotions and thoughts were building up from past instances that hadn't
been resolved. So when I finally got the chance to say something, I kinda blew up. I raised my voice and made a scene right there in Walmart.
Later she told me that she didn't ask me because she didn't want to get her friends in trouble if the cops came(see, I'm only 20 and she's 21)
Now this isn't even a part of all the other problems and misunderstandings that have happened. Also what led to her breaking up with me was some poor
advice from fellow co-workers. Everything they told me to do went wrong, and I should have known better.
For the past weeks previous to the break up, I never really acted like myself, which probably didn't help matters either. But anyway, she broke up
with me a week ago at work, and I was devastated. I didn't want to break up. I thought we should have just took some time away from each other. Here
is were the second part of the story begins...(Oh God, right...)
I fell in love with this girl, right. I mean, she was so close to everything I wanted in a companion. When we broke up she said she needed space from
me, and she wanted to be by herself and think about what she wants. I really loved her, and wanted so bad to try and get her back.
So the next day at work I just kinda talked to her normally and gave her a letter I wrote earlier as an apology. Saying I was not acting like myself,
etc. That night when she got off of work I walked with her to her car (I was on break). When we got there, I stuck out my hand to shake goodbye
(friendly gesture I thought). She grabbed my hand pulled me over and kissed me on the lips. Got in her car gave me a sad like look and drove away.
The next day at work, we were talking along with some other people, and she bumped into me on purpose like she used to a long time ago. I swear this
meant, "hey, Im still interested in you". Later that night I was with her at her car again. She told me to give her a hug, so I did, and she hugged
me back and kissed me on the cheek. She then told me to call her that night. So I called and we talked for about 15 minutes about general stuff and
that was it.
We bumped into each other at work on Halloween. She again "bumped" into me, making me go insane with wonder about what she was trying to do. She
told me she'd go out to eat with me on her lunch break. So I decided I would buy her some apologetic flowers to give to her when she got off work,
while I wait to take her to lunch.
That night I gave her the flowers and a poem I wrote. She smiled at first then she got somewhat upset. She said people don't give stuff to each other
who aren't going out. And that she wanted her space and this wasn't giving it to her. Also that I was keeping her here longer than she needed to
stay (she had to leave quickly). I was confused because right after I gave her the flowers, she just sat there at her car acting like she wanted me to
say something. So I did, then she, of course, got mad at me because I kept her.
So then I didn't make any contact with her for a few days. I went to Walmart Thursday to talk to some friends. She was there working, this of course
I did not know, so there was an akward moment. I said nothing to her, and acted like she wasn't there. Then next day I had to work, and one of my
friends told me a funny tidbit. Seems that my ex waited until one of her friends got off, so that she would walk her to her car, thinking I might be
there waiting for her. YEAH RIGHT!
That same day, which would have been yesterday, I pretty much acted like she didn't exist. Hardly spoke to her and she seemed to pretty much act like
I was nothing. Later that day, a friend of mine told me that I pretty much lost her and she said she was already dating again. I'm like, whatever
happened to 'being by myself' yada yada yada
So here is my problem...I still really love this girl...she has so many wonderful qualities. We got along so well for a while and contrary to her
belief, we have many things in common. I can see that we have some special. But see, she has been hurt so much in the past, that I fear she will never
forgive me. All I want is a second chance and her forgiveness. I know we are right for each other, I just let too many people get in my head, and
believed what they said.
I want her back so bad...I don't want all that we shared and talked about to be in vain...I love her so much...but how could she already be dating?
Why will she not forgive me? Why won't she give me another chance? Why would she kiss me out in the parking lot and act like she was still
interested, if she's not?
If you've read all this you are truly amazing, and God bless you...thanks for letting me get this off my chest. I feel better. But do you think I
have any chance of ever getting back with her?