It's about Jane Goodall's work among chimpanzees.
She was observing a troop with a very strong alpha male. This male, as is common among the cloudforest-dwelling primates, chose two helpers, or
"captains," each of whom was to choose a couple of "leutenants." The whole thing is a bit like the mafia organization, with a Don (alpha male),
several Caporegimes (beta males) under him.
The real warfare is supposed to be among the "bagmen," the peripheral males, who are trying to get into the organization, either by "making their
bones" (attacking a rival troop) or by fighting a member, and taking his spot.
Anyway, there was one chimpanzee who had been crippled by polio. All the others picked on this one. He was a peripheral male, apparently for life.
And as you point out, among the lower primates, status dictates access to mates. I cannot remember this poor dudes name, so let's just refer to him
as "Z," reminding us of his low status.
Did he give up and leave the troop? No. He didn't. The chimps had noticed Goodall, and even "raided" her camp a couple of times (very
unprofessional of her to have allowed that kind of contact, btw.) Well, most of the other males had begun ignoring Goodall. But not "z." In fact
he found a couple of empty Kerosene-cans behind her tent, and quickly stole them.
Now, in the chimpworld, you demonstrate your "jock" status by beating someone up, or by vandalizing a tree or bush. You rip it up, break the
biggest branches off, etc. The women are attracted by how much noise you can make. If you are a lower-ranked male, and the alpha male feels
threatened, he picks a tree next to yours and starts snapping off branches, much louder than you ever could. It really takes you down a notch with
the judys when boss man puts you in your place by being noisier than you.
So one day, a captain is challenging the alpha for control of the pack. Happens every 6 months or so. The captain and his leutenants are tearing the
hell out of a tree. So here comes the alpha, and his
other capos and leutenants and bagmen. Rather than a physical fight, they just pick a
bigger tree, next to the rebels, and start tearing the holy crap out of their own tree.
Suddenly "Z" walks in the middle of things, and starts banging his kerosene-cans. Louder noise than all the rest of the males collectively can
muster; you can hear it for miles. ALL the chimps, who were just about to get physical, can agree that they have to murder this dude who is louder
than everything they can do.
But the females come running. They surround "z," and are vying for his attention; "presenting" furiously, by aiming their genitals at him, to
show they are ready to mate. Some of them are trying to latch on him and perform fellatio, and biting each other to drive off the peripheral
In less than 10 minutes, "z" has gone to the top of the sex-pyramid, and without hurting anyone. The previous alpha, his capos, AND his rival all
end up leaving the troop because they are no longer getting sex. Z lived for almost a year like an oriental despot, with a harem of females petting
him from sunup to sundown.
"Z" ran that troop until Goodall left Africa, and stole her Kerosene cans back while Z was napping. Which I thought was incredibly cruel of her.
Here's my point. If "Z" didn't let physical disability rule out his sexual and social success, why should you????
I mean, he's a frikken chimp. He lives in the original jungle, not even the concrete one that you inhabit, with its laws and welfare and doctors. Z
inhabited the world Thomas Paine was thinking about when he said that life without government would be "nasty, cruel, brutish, and short."
If "z" could prosper in that environment, why can't you prosper in yours???
He found a "nuclear option" that vaulted him over the heads of even the mightiest apes. So, that's what you should do. I mean, if he could get
laid while having a crippling disease, surely you can do so, too.
You just need to find your own "kerosene-cans"
Maybe a guitar?