The "experts" cited the lack of bonding with mature parents and therefore not being able make the transition to socializing with other humans. This
lack of bonding seemed to have changed thier brain development which for many was permanent.
Well while I can't say I have experience with or knowledge of rabid groups of feral children...LOL...I do have to comment that I am concerned for
society because of lack of parenting and not just the lack of proper supervision, but the very real lack of bonding and what it means for society
I was somewhat emotionally abandoned as a child and I do know the consequences are grave-it does change the brain-not just psychologically speaking of
mindsets and emotions, but chemically etc. but there is an impression left and the inability to trust and bond are grave-and extremely hard to
when I was younger and found a peer group I could trust, what I realize now what common bond we all had that truly brought us together, was the mutual
inability to trust and bond with others, thus we shunned, and were shunned by more of the acceptable groups (the academics, arts, atheletes, religeos
people etc) and no one respected or trusted or had close bonds with their parents most of all. And we were from ages of 12 years old to 40 for the
most part, with the largest age group being from 15-30)
But it seemed to me, I was aware that while no one was outwardly willing to bond or trust-many hungered for it....while others were so drastically
affected it was unfathomable...they were the chameleons...always knowing how to get to others by playing to their emotional needs, and always in
control because they had no real emotional needs of their own-or rather thy did, but they had adapted them to become something else entirely. They
were scarey. (They remind me of politicians! I'm serious! or most politicians remind me of those types on the street...whatever-scarey!)
These were sometimes even the younger ones in their early 20's that knew the psychological/emotional ropes...could say and act in whatever way was
needed to get what they wanted...someones money, someones body for sex, someones loyalty, someones service, and even the clothes off their
backs...these were the scariest of all because they would become the leaders-the local gurus...the ones with absolutely no real ability to bond or
trust, but the ability to see it as a weakness in others and exploit it fully-and kids were drawn to them.
These were the guys when I'd get some of their guard down, or speak to their ego-letting them know I could see through them what they could/and did
do to control those around them-feigning awe at this ability and they'd smile at my perceptiveness after some denial and then tell me things that are
nauseating about themselves and their abilities.
How they were abandoned through parental death of one or both parents (mother being the biggest and most impacting loss), drug use, or other means or
reasons early in life... how they'd been in foster homes, group homes etc...how they never bonded, but learned to manipulate their environment for
security in lieu of developing/receiving real love, trust, and emotional secuirty...so detached manipulation became their security. Controling their
environment became the very way they nurtured themselves and felt safe.
Ironically, this control and manipulation played out in many ways as controling their environment didn't mean having a good or peaceful one...just
one they controlled
....acting good, and stealing money behind the innocent backs of do-good foster homes...ok...acting certain acceptable ways to earn the emotional
connection others would feel for them...fine...people were predictable
...or acting up and fighting and playing up the troubled youth scenereo...typical
...anything that would control...and anything that would give a predictable outcome-was control.
So even if negative...fighting leading to punishments and 3 strikes and your out to the next foster home, etc...THEY were in control thus they
nurtured themselves in this manner and didn't need to trust or bond or have emotionally fullfilling relationships with people...just some control
over their environment...when they left the system at 18 they still had the need to manipulate and control for their sense of wellbeing and safety
I had my own issues and fears of intimacy and was known for breaking hearts because I couldn't commit to romantic/sexual relationships...
so many hungered for the romantic/sexual connection because often emotional needs are sexualized...admittedly my own needs were sexulized but not at
the risk of trusting, so too few could ever get to me emotionally-even through sexual endeavors
anyway, it seems to me though this group would want to be considered anarchists-rejecting all rule-really they hungered for some nurturing control
factor in their life...(one that should have come from a paretnal bond and influence and nurturing home environment)and found it in mutual discord and
apathy and in the blinding influences of those that were truly beyond such a hunger being met by anyone else outside of their own nurturing contol,
and thus manipluated those around them effectively.
They would control them knowing their weaknesses and become their hereos because finally someone knew how to tap into them when everyone else-and the
system- had failed to do so-this action of having someone tap into their emotional core, felt like trust, and care to them-the lost boys (and girls)
and they'd just about worship these cold hearted hereos because finally someone met the very need no one else could-someone could tap into their
Isn't that how we are hardwired anyway? To respond to our needs being met...to someone being able to tap into those needs...well thse kids have
twisted needs because they aren't met early on....and then it just takes the right twisted person to tap into that need.
And the worst part is it isn't always tragic tales of obviously dysfunctional families and children...some kids were from decent homes in
suburbia...and you have to wonder what went wrong...well often I will tell you...it's as simple as fathers being absent through divorce, never
marrying, or abandonemtn through work/recreation...and mothers being equally as absent through work/and or recreation...living children to nurture
themselves and bond to no one...shuffling the burden of raising them onto others, even their own reluctant and bitter and equally unnurtured
This is why I take parenting VERY seriously-I'd like to control my childrens environment so they don't have to substitute any other influence for
and I am sick at how a group of misfit kids can and are effectively becomeing a larger and larger subculture in society just waiting for the right
influences to tap into their needs and control them-whoever controls that pack of ferral people is even more evil than any of them could aspire to be