New Contest!! poetry time!!

Way down www.abovetopsecret.com... I wrote some off the cuff crappy poetry and afterwards felt that we should make a competition out of it.

Topic is ATS. Keep it clean and preferrably funny.

So get your thinking caps on and write something no longer than 4 stanzas (the one shown is only 3)

In doggeral verse with every 2nd line rhyming.

Criteria for success:
Originality
Humor
Creativity.

First prize 1000 points
Time" 10 days from now. 26 of Sept to finish.

I will choose the best.
In the event of a tie both will recieve 1000 pts.

You can have more than one submittion, but only one prize

[Edited on 16-9-2003 by Netchicken]

Do to the point system that is currently being used, do we wee mods get to compete or is this members only?

Only asking so as to clear things a little, I could personally careless. Dragon stole those points, but it was fair and square...

Everyone is able to contribute, except me
Actually you're lucky on that part

I will be totally impartial and justify my stance.

[Edited on 16-9-2003 by Netchicken]

Since we are allowed to have more than one submission, I thought I would kick this off with a laugh...


There once was a website from Nantucket,
It kept all the conspiracies in a bucket,
There was a poetry contest,
One thousand points to the best,
And the winner could turn off censors and say %$#@ it.



_____________________________________________
Be Cool
K_OS

[Edited on 16-9-2003 by K_OS]

Originally posted by K_OS
Since we are aloud to have more than one submission, I thought I would kick this off with a laugh...


There once was a website from Nantucket,
It kept all the conspiracies in a bucket,
There was a poetry contest,
One thousand points to the best,
And the winner could turn off censors and say %$#@ it.

_____________________________________________
Be Cool
K_OS

:lol

That gets my vote for the best.

I will help be a judge NC if you need one.

deny
history's fateful repeat

deny
intolerance of bigotry

deny
awkward stupidity

deny
callow incomprehension

deny ignorance

Originally posted by William
deny
history's fateful repeat

deny
intolerance of bigotry

deny
awkward stupidity

deny
callow incomprehension

deny ignorance

Sounds like a heavy metal song!

[Edited on 16-9-2003 by drunk]

Limericks and morbid blank verse don't apply here
Nice try guys however it looks like we need a few lessons in poetry first.

This is the structure I am after..
This is 1 stanza ...

There once was a newb1e
that had never been kissed

There once was a president named Bill Clinton
He was famous for using a cigar
Bill slept with monica in the Hilton
And the sex was avrage, just par

Nice try pizza except that its not on ATS and you need 3 more stanzas

Have another go

Sorry i didnt see i needed 4 stanzas. That topic has to do with ATS.

Also can i do the ryhme scheme ABAB CDCD EFEF GG please? I know that adds a couplet at the end but i think it would make my poem better.

Is this better...

My first ATS peom,
was shot down and busted,
Netchicken's upset,
because his tin shack has rusted.

He told me I was wrong,
and to write doggy style,
How could he say that,
The man is so vile.

I feel like Dr. Suess,
all confused and bobumbled,
even though drunk liked my peom,
which I am sure he read while he stumbled.

But now it is over,
and my writing is done,
Netchicken don't be mad,
because its is all in good fun.



_____________________________________________
Be Cool
K_OS

There once was a president named Bill Clinton
He was famous for using a cigar
Bill slept with monica in the Hilton
And the sex was avrage, just par

Hillary can't turn clinton on
She bitches at him
While monica gives Bill a hard-on
Monica nicknamed Bill's thing Mr. Jim

Hillary was caught with some creature
She says he is great in bed
The creature has a weird feature,
But amazingly can give himself head

Bill punched the creature
The alien went to jail
Bill thought that would teach her
Who the hell is going to pay bail?

There once was a president named Bill Clinton
He was famous for using a cigar
Bill slept with monica in the Hilton
And the sex was avrage, just par

Hillary can't turn clinton on
She bitches at him
While monica gives Bill a hard-on
Monica nicknamed Bill's thing Mr. Jim

Hillary was caught with some creature
She says he is great in bed
The creature has a weird feature,
But amazingly can give himself head

Bill punched the creature
The alien went to jail
Bill thought that would teach her
Who the hell is going to pay bail?

In order to preserve the peace
and get some people thinking
I think that we can expand the form
So drunk can stop his drinking

So if you want another style
That rhymes and makes some sence
Then go ahead and hit the keys
I will not take offence

You never know we just may find
That underneath the skin
Is not a raging poster
But a poet lies within!

ATS was made to rule
lets capture it in verse
You never know your rhyme may win
and then again it may not....

[Edited on 16-9-2003 by Netchicken]

Heres another style ... but needs the ATS theme

Requiem to a blank screen.

My VDU is on the fritz
exploded into litle bitz.

I jest of course, just hyperbole,
the case and all is still quite whole.

It's just the screen, it's gone quite black
I cannot get the picture back
and even calls with sobbing voice
they only get the user's choice.

There's really nothing I can do,
they lent me one (and it broke too).

Twas a warm autumn night
when the missiles were hurled,
and just as predicted
it was the end of the world

All the people were shocked
except the ATS crew,
they merely sat back and said
"We tried to tell you."

But among the ATSers
who had been in the know,
an argument erupted:
Had it been the NWO?

Or had the greys and reptilians
wiped out the human race?
Or had Christ finally arrived
and cleaned up the place?

It seemed the Mayans were wrong
and the Bible tales tall,
the missiles flew on their own -
the Y2K bug had struck after all.

My eyes feel dried and hurting,
can feel my hearth pounding,
while I'm starring at that screen glowing,
my ass tells me he's tired of sitting...

My brain tells me he's about to give up,
what's that bit of info I'm looking up?
can't remember...it'll drive me nut
if I don't figure it up,
Now I start wondering if tomorow I'll be able to wake up?

I'm starting to feel drownsiness,
Should I keep fighting it?
Maybe I better sleep, tomorow's business,
I need to be in good fit

Close some applications, do some check up routine...
Start some download, to keep busy my little machine...

Adjust the clock, 6 am. tomorow, dawn that suck...


Edit: Quango, that was awesome! Especially the "We tried to tell you" part!


[Edited on 16-9-2003 by m0rbid]