How to cook an alien, easy recipies

Here is some really good information for people wanting to vary their diet.

users.bigpond.net.au...

The argument for eating Aliens
Aliens come here uninvited.
They ate Elvis.
They mutilate our cattle, and probe abductees by shoving probes in their rectum and performing other unspeakable acts upon unsuspecting victims.
They are plentiful, more plentiful than the strained seas and land resources, and they seem to be coming in increasing numbers (if you beleive what some people are saying).
They are Kosher meat.
They taste good if prepared well.
According to some,they mess around with the Space Shuttle, when astronauts launch sattelites.
Their meat is safer than British Beef.


AUTOPSY OR SAGE AND ONION STUFFING? - YOU DECIDE
(This photograph was smuggled out of Roswell,before the autopsy film was censored. As you can see, the truth about the "autopsy" is far more chilling than previously thought)

[edit on 21-10-2005 by Netchicken]

More eating alien tips!
www.sonic.net...

Make sure your intended repast is dead, disarmed, immobilized and uncommunicative. Inflict whatever trauma is necessary to achieve this, including but not limited to:
knife incision, icepick penetration, blowtorch application, poisoning, electrocution, blows with blunt objects, irradiation, mechanized grinding and/or blending, phasor / deathray blasting, extended exposure to interstellar vacuum, etc.

Make sure your intended repast is contained by whatever means is necessary and available, including but not limited to:
sealed container, force-field, monomolecular netting, space / time warp, mental shields, epoxy embedding, magnetic bottle, casting wards and/or runes, paralysis rays, etc.

Make sure your intended repast has been detoxified and purified, by any means, including but not limited to:
chemical, radiological, electrical, mechanical, mental, moral, spiritual, temporal, extra-dimensional, experimental, etc.

Make sure your intended repast, when cooked, will not become toxic (physically or mentally or morally), aggressive, passive-aggressive, vastly inflated or shrunken (with the possibility of changing size or shape after being eaten), quiescent (with the possibility of revivifying after being eaten), or otherwise inimical to your well-being and survival.

Make sure your intended repast is not protected by legal, moral, religious, demonic, or extradimentional codes or rules which, if enforced, could be detrimental to your well-being and survival. Or at least make sure that nobody / nothing discovers that you have violated such codes. You hope.

Don't be a pig. Eat slowly, politely, decorously. Share your food with others. Don't play with your food. Hope that your food doesn't play with you. Clean up after yourself. A prayer before eating probably couldn't hurt, either.

[edit on 21-10-2005 by Netchicken]

Make sure you serve "alien" with a nice chardoney:

Just think of the freedom you have when cooking aliens.
You can't eat pets, because people object.
You can't eat people beacuse .. well you just can't thats why, their relatives complain too much
Beef carries CJD, pigs have footrot, chickens have bird flu.

But its open season on eating aliens!

Also how often do you get to eat beings that are more intelligent than you!

We can form our own PETA club People Eating Tasty Aliens


[edit on 21-10-2005 by Netchicken]

In the book "Hair of the Alien" by Bill Chalker he recounts a story of how some people in Africa ate some alien remains and they got very sick.

Not recommended.

Originally posted by Junkheap
In the book "Hair of the Alien" by Bill Chalker he recounts a story of how some people in Africa ate some alien remains and they got very sick.

Not recommended.

Thats because they didn't cook it right. Heck, eating a chicken will make you sick if it isn't cooked right.

I find the tastiest recipe is to kill and clean the alien quick, then while its still fresh put the meat in a large roaster and smother it with Liptons beef and onion soup mix. Put it in the oven at a low/Med heat and let it simmer overnight. The next morning you'll wake up with the smell of fresh cooked alien just wafting thru the house and I assure you, you will be drooling. next cut some fresh veggies put them in the sauce to slow cook till around the noontime hour.

YUMMMMM, YUMMMMM....aliens never tasted so good.

I also have a nifty recipe for alien jerky if anyone is interested. It's the perfect treat on those nights when your out hunting more aliens to eat.

Love and light my friends,

Wupy

Generally I find the Dracos a bit tough, and hard to skin as well.
Saurans are more like fish. So the best bet is to hang and use use catfish skinners to peel.

But nothing is quite as good as pit smoked Skewered Reptillan stuffed with garlic. If you haven't already, you got to try it!

If you decide to do burgers make sure you get a 94% fat free mechanically separated alien.







[edit on 21-10-2005 by garyo1954]

Let's hope that any aliens passing by Earth don't have a wireless laptop.

This not BTS thread, my mistake.
Well, Reptilian stuffed with greylings all with sauce of freshly sqeeezed chupacabra is my favourite dish.
I find the most alien races too strong aromatic and garlic is recommended with a pinch of basil though.
Alien meat put for 24 hours in this: olive oil and onion diced add salt and vinegar.
Then cook 2 to 3 hours and serve with mashed potato.

Hahaha, this is kind of funny. Alien tacos and burritos will be pretty good and healthy.