More eating alien tips!
Make sure your intended repast is dead, disarmed, immobilized and uncommunicative. Inflict whatever trauma is necessary to achieve this, including but
not limited to:
knife incision, icepick penetration, blowtorch application, poisoning, electrocution, blows with blunt objects, irradiation, mechanized grinding
and/or blending, phasor / deathray blasting, extended exposure to interstellar vacuum, etc.
Make sure your intended repast is contained by whatever means is necessary and available, including but not limited to:
sealed container, force-field, monomolecular netting, space / time warp, mental shields, epoxy embedding, magnetic bottle, casting wards and/or runes,
paralysis rays, etc.
Make sure your intended repast has been detoxified and purified, by any means, including but not limited to:
chemical, radiological, electrical, mechanical, mental, moral, spiritual, temporal, extra-dimensional, experimental, etc.
Make sure your intended repast, when cooked, will not become toxic (physically or mentally or morally), aggressive, passive-aggressive, vastly
inflated or shrunken (with the possibility of changing size or shape after being eaten), quiescent (with the possibility of revivifying after being
eaten), or otherwise inimical to your well-being and survival.
Make sure your intended repast is not protected by legal, moral, religious, demonic, or extradimentional codes or rules which, if enforced, could be
detrimental to your well-being and survival. Or at least make sure that nobody / nothing discovers that you have violated such codes. You hope.
Don't be a pig. Eat slowly, politely, decorously. Share your food with others. Don't play with your food. Hope that your food doesn't play with
you. Clean up after yourself. A prayer before eating probably couldn't hurt, either.
[edit on 21-10-2005 by Netchicken]