A story about my day.

This is a story about my day. Now, it is completely fictional, with bad grammer and no gramatical sense whatso ever. This is purely for member enjoyment.

Please, any mods out there U2U me if my story is not appopriate for ATS.

Just a normal day, nothing out of the norm.

The sun rose slightly above the horizon and flashed a flashy flash of light about the expanse of dirty land. The vision of the sun blurred and then it went dark.

Hello, my name is Bob, and this is how my day went.

I was walking down the street with my good friend The Kool-Aid ManÔ “OH YEAH!” just minding our businesses(he has several businesses, for he breaks through walls saying “OH YEAH!” and lets little kids drink out of him) when all of sudden the sun broke down in tears of sadness and sank beneath the horizon making it all go dark. That damn moon was playing rough again, must have landed a low blow. But the moon came up sniveling and smirking, which was a bad sign for bad things to happen. So anyways, onto my day, I was walking with my friend The Kool-Aid ManÔ and all of sudden out of nowhere a small little man came out of a door and asked me for a sandwich. I didn’t have a sandwich on me, but I was getting hungry, so I gave him 2 dollars in dimes. Me and The Kool-Aid ManÔ continued walking, and all of a sudden the little man behind us screamed out, “YOU DIRTY FOO! I DIDN’T WANT NO TWO DOLLA! I WANTED SANDWICH! NOT TWO DOLLA!” So he threw the dimes at me, and it hurt, so I said owe. My friend The Kool-Aid ManÔ said “OH NO!” and swoosh! Off he went into the brilliant night sky, never to be heard of from again.

It was at that moment, that I knew, SHOWDOWN! So WHOOSH! BAM! WHISTLE! I took out my glow sticks. With glow sticks in hand, the urge to beat down a small defenseless little man, I charged, screaming my battle cry “PIE IS NOT MATH!” and whipped the little man with the glow sticks and “OOHHHH!!!” I said, as I was suddenly surprised by the little man’s powers. The little man said “HAH! NOW YOU DIE! LOOK IT IS GODZILLA!” And I turned my head, looked and said “WHERE?” And to my surprise(once again) There was no Godzilla! So I turned my head back to its original position to scold the little man, and he was nowhere to be found. So I shrugged and kept moving.

I kept moving down the street, and I saw a Subway (EAT FRESH!). I was so hungry, that I couldn’t eat a horse, but I could eat a Subway sandwich, so I walked in. I walked up to the counter and the man over the counter asked me “Welcome to Subway Sir, how may I help you meow?” I was befuddled as to why the man said “meow”, but I didn’t stop to think twice, so I asked for the largest sandwich they had and to make it fast. So they did. “That will be 13.57 Sir meow.” Now, I got annoyed. “Excuse me, but did you say meow?” “Sir? Meow” “Yes, yes you did say ‘meow’.” “Sir, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not a cat to be saying meow, do I look like a cat? Especially one that would say meow?” “Umm no, but you still said it.” “Look sir, you have your sandwich, now will you go meow?” “Talk about bad customer service, alright.” So I picked up and left. “O SIR! MEOW!” I still don’t understand why he said meow, but eh, on with my day I went.

I found a nice local spot to sit and eat my sandwich (YUMMY FOR MY TUMMY). I started to chow down, and all of sudden, a turtle popped out of nowhere and sat next to me. I was very confused, because turtles don’t sit next to people, they sit next to wooden poles in the sun. The freakiest thing wasn’t a giant turtle sitting next to me, it was a giant turtle sitting next to me and talking to me. “Hello Neo.” The giant turtle said. “Exc… Excuse me?” “Neo, it is time.” Now I was getting confused. So I responded with, “My name isn’t Neo, it’s Bob.” The turtle looked at me, and I noticed he was wearing sunglasses(at night?) and a black cloak. He was also bald, and you can see a small gleaming light flash from the baldness under the moonlit sky. “Neo, it is time for you to choose, whether you will continue to be a part of the ‘Magical wonderland of Albania’ or join me, trinity, and a bunch of other people. I forgot their names, they aren’t important. Neo, I need you to choose a pill. The Red one, or the blue one. If you take the red one, all will be revealed, you will find out the truth, and you can never come back. If you take the blue one, basically the same thing happens, only you will be stabbed in the eye for not choosing the Red one.” Hmm, I liked his offer! “Inticing, I think I’ll take the Green one.” The turtle just stared. “Neo, that’s a skittle on the floor.” “O.” “Neo, you must now choose, the nice way of finding out the truth, or the fun way where I get to stab your eye.” Hmm, it was hard, but I selected! “I think I’ll have to go with the Red one Steve.” “The name’s Morpheus.” “Ok Steve, whatever you say man, jut give me the Red one.”
So he did. So he did indeed. And he got up, and walked away. I screamed after him. “HEY! NOTHING’S HAPPENING!” He just continued to walk away, and that’s when I noticed, I’ve been jipped.

Damn.

So I finally arrived home, and I found my dog Fluffy on my bed. So I kicked him. “BAD DOG! YOU STAY OFF MY BED!” And then I kissed him and pet him. “Awww, you know I love you.” He went off whimpering. I sat down on my bed, and turned on the TV. The first thing to appear on the television was a news reporter reporting the Nightly News(Go figure)!

“Here in downtown Mauseland, a Giant Turtle with sunglasses and a black cloak is wreaking havoc on the poor unsuspecting people below. O the humanity, o the horrible screeching noises.”

“Hmm, it seemed a lot smaller when he sat next to me earlier.” I thought to myself and tuned off the TV, looked at the time, yawned and went to bed. The End!

Enjoy!

Shattered OUT...

LOL SS

A very strange piece. Made me laugh. Very well done.

"Magical wonderland of Albania" give me a break lol

ShelteredSkies

This story made me laugh. Really good stuff - wacky and surreal and I love the Morpheus turtle. But what happened to Mr. Kool-aid? (He) made his little cameo and then he was gone. Anyway, I'd love to read more of your writing.

Originally posted by nikelbee
ShelteredSkies

This story made me laugh.

Really good stuff - wacky and surreal and I love the Morpheus turtle. But what happened to Mr. Kool-aid? (He) made his little cameo and then he was gone. Anyway, I'd love to read more of your writing.

Well I got tired of having to write the "TradeMark" bit, so I just killed the character.

Shattered OUT...