BTS.humor: How Do You Train Goldfish???

PODcast: How Do You Train Goldfish???
Yarcofin wonders how you train small animals and what kind of tricks you can teach them to do.

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PODcast: How Do You Train Goldfish??? (reply 1)
BH shares an idea about training the fish

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PODcast: How Do You Train Goldfish??? (reply 2)
BH shares more experiences on training small animals

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very, very funny yarcofin. Thanks. Needed that.

PODcast: How Do You Train Goldfish??? (reply 3)
A good goldfish training trick involves using a shark

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PODcast: How Do You Train Goldfish??? (reply 4)
Yarcofin updates everyone on how his goldfish training is going.

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[edit on 17-10-2005 by Yarcofin]

PODcast: How Do You Train Goldfish??? (reply 5)
BH jumps on the "Question Soficrow's Credibility" bandwagon! What's all this about sharks!?

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PODcast: How Do You Train Goldfish??? (reply 6)
Responding to Benevolent Heretic. Sofi says, Information does not kill people...

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PODcast: How Do You Train Goldfish??? (reply 7)
BH hops right back off the bandwagon. It was no fun anyway! But flea circuses...

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BH & Soficrow:

I grow tired of the endless...vicious...pointless personal attacks that take place between the members of this board. WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE STAY ON THREAD!!! DEAL with the subject matter...and prove *it* wrong! No...it takes ME to remind you of that! Do I have to insist the two of you press IGNORE on one another?



Now on the subject matter of this thread, I am horrified that no one is even aware of the very real and serious problem of goldfish inbreeding and its impact upon their overall intelligence. It is no wonder you are having problems, Yarcofin.




Now, look at that fish!!!! Do you see any sign of intelligence there???

It's a tragedy, I tell you. Once again, man's stupidity and arrogance has managed to breed the smarts right out of what was once a very scholarly creature! Yeah, that's right! I said SCHOLARLY. All that remains as evidence of their former intellectual capabilities are the paltry remembrances invoked by our very own language. Where exactly is it you think the term "school of fish" came from?

On Benevolent Heretic's suggestion to instead train fleas...

There are many who object to the subjugation of another of nature's creatures.... Fortunately, in this case, I would not be one of them. Accordingly, let me share what little I know on the subject.

ALL trained fleas require the proper environment...without it, they are simply untrainable.




Beyond that, there are two schools (oh, the irony) of thought on how to proceed....

There is the positive reinforcement camp:




And there is the negative reinforcement camp:




I'm not certain which method is most effective, but if you try the spray, I'd be real careful...You wouldn't want to accidentally get any of the ones you've already trained...











[edit on 19-10-2005 by loam]

We were just foolin around loam. and it was just gettin' good!

How cum u guys always have to ruin all our fun all the time?

PODcast: How Do You Train Goldfish??? (reply 8)
BH delves into other training methods

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PODcast: How Do You Train Goldfish??? (reply 9)
Yarcofin catches up on the new posts and sings a terrible song about animal training.

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Now, look at that fish!!!! Do you see any sign of intelligence there???

I can honestly say I do.

[edit on 19-10-2005 by Yarcofin]

[edit on 10/19/2005 by Amorymeltzer]

Yarcofin - you are VERY funny. Thank you.

And thank you for helping me find my "funny" voice.

Yarcofin & non-approved friend:



OK....the more I look at that picture, the more convinced I am that it is a total fraud. It is no better than a dinner plate thrown into the air and claimed to be some alien spacecraft.

Just to be sure, I took the liberty of having your photo examined, and the experts now agree that the skull cap of that picture has been doctored!!!




B-E-N-E-V-O-L-E-N-T H-E-R-E-T-I-C

So sorry. But if you had had the initial courtesy to select a shorter name, and one that would not have required me to remember if "E"s or "A"s were involved in the spelling, I might have had less trouble. I assume you did this on purpose?

[edit on 19-10-2005 by loam]

PODcast: How Do You Train Goldfish??? (reply 10)
There's one sound every fish knows and fears...

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Aww thanks Sofi. I don't think I'm THAT funny. I'm sure more people think I'm a complete idiot, rather than funny, after listening to this thread.. But when I was first making them, I must admit I was laughing my arse off. The whole voice came by accident. I was only intending to use it only as an intro ("This is Yarcofin here on Belowtopsecret.com"), but then it was just too great, so I did the whole thing like that. And then made it even more ridiculous.

I'm glad I could help you find your funny voice. But you want to know what's really funny? I haven't actually listened to any of your other podcasts yet, so I think this IS your real voice! LOL!!! I better go see what you actually sound like now.

And *sigh* Loam. You caught me. Everyone knows that large skull caps mean that you have a large brain, which means that any animal with a large skull cap is exceptionally smart. Unfortunately, I couldn't pull one over on your expert eyes. Everyone knows that goldfish carry reading glasses and books about complex philosophical topics. But I just got greedy, making the skull cap so big. I am so sorry everyone for becoming the ignorance that we are trying so hard to deny here .

PODcast: How Do You Train Goldfish??? (reply 11)
Benevolent Faith has a few words on goldfish training

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Try visiting www.r2fishschool.com