posted on Nov, 7 2005 @ 05:18 PM
This is a cool thread. Well, honestly I can say that I get along with most people, but along the way I have discovered a few things:
1.)My family considers me to be quite stubborn. This is true, but only to the extent that I dont take anyones word for anything. I have to
find out if a suggestion, explination, or story is true and acceptable to me.
2.)As weird as I still find this, many women who first meet me size me up and then feel intimidated by my looks. This usually changes once they get
to know me, because I am generaly a happy person, I like to play and have fun. I dont take my self seriously. I dont really pay attention to how I
look, so I am not into lots of make-up or designer clothes. I like to throw my hair in a ponytail and throw on some jeans or sweats. This is why it
is weird to me that a lot of women feel inimidated by my appearance.
Amorymeltzer, I can give you some insight on what the girl who thought you were too "nice" actually meant when she said that. This is my personal
take and perspective on it. When I first started my forays into dating (late for me at 18), I pictured in my mind a wonderfuly nice guy who was the
ultimate gentelman and who spoiled me rotten. Well, I thought I found that person in my second boyfriend. After about a year, it started to wear on
me how he always had to be nice, and always had to be a gentelman. t
I couldnt figure out why this would wear on my nerves because it was exactly what I wanted. Later on, I realized that he became boring to me because
he was so predictable, and because he offered me no sort of stimulation. Sure he spoiled me, but I felt that I could make him do whatever I wanted,
just because I wanted it. It was like he would do anything at all to please me. Anything! I didnt like how that made me feel. I didnt feel lucky to
have a boyfriend like him, I felt almost generic, like he would treat any woman he was with the exact same way. So then I wondered what he saw in me.
Why did he want to be with me and not someone else? Why were my needs and wants more important than his? Was it that every womans needs and wants
always superseded his?
I decided that what I actually wanted was a man with definitive beliefs and prejudices. I wanted someone who would have opinions that conflicted with
mine and yet we still had a lot in common. I wanted someone who would treat me lovingly and with respect, but who still has things that they would
not do with me or for me. When he does something nice for me, it is a treat and makes me feel special because I know it is something that he
did because of how he feels for me. It isnt something that he would necessarily do for someone else. This is not to say that I wanted a man to treat
me bad, and then throw in a little kindness here and there.
For me, I want a man to treat me as well as he would treat his male friends and with the same boundaries and expectations. Most men I know, do not go
out of thier way to be super nice and spoil thier male friends. They ususally have a relationship that is borne of mutual respect and comradery.
Sorry if this disrupted the thread a bit. I have heard numerous men say that many women want to break off a relationship because they are too
"nice". It is not a very good way of explaining what the woman actually feels. It is actually an emotion that cannot be summed up into one word.