posted on Nov, 18 2005 @ 08:36 AM
There ya go.
I was always tickled by the well-to-do drunks who expected that their connections to get them out of a D.U.I.:
Him: "My great Uncle is the Mayor of Tyler, Texas!"
Me: "To bad you didn't have the good fortune to get drunk in Tyler, then."
Then we had the people who would insist I call their connection so the powerful person could chew me out at tell me to release them. "I demand that
you call the attorney general, he was my dad's frat brother." If at all possible I'd make the call for them. Usually at 3 a.m. on a Sunday
morning. NEVER ONCE did any of the high-n-mighty side with the perp, bythe way. But I always put 'em on the phone, to let them 'splane things.
Then I could say.
"Good job! Are there any other public officials you'd like to PISS OFF before you get arraigned tommorow morning?!?!?!"
But my favorite is the people who think you get to pick and choose which laws should be applied to your crime. In Texas, 17 year olds are considered
legal adults (except for alcohol, which is federally mandated). Kids from Kansas would come down here, and steal a car or something.
They'd say, "you can't put me in jail, I'm 17! I'm a minor in Kansas!"
Then I'd get to put on my little lost dorothy-virgin accent and say, "Oh my! I don't think we're in Kansas, anymore, Toto!"
Just thinking about booking all the perps and twirps makes me glad I found a real job.
Um, let's talk about office politics or something.