My Father in law just died

I don't know what to do, we just got a call from joes mom, she was in a car accident, and she had to have her car towed home and when she got home she found joes dad on the floor, he died of a massive heart attack, while shaving....
Oh My God, I just needed to say this, I don't know what to do, Please someone...

OMG! i am soooo sorry hun.
basically all you can do is be strong. this must be a massive shock!
if you need to talk just u2u me!! dont hestiate please dont hestiate.

love and prays to go to you, joe and joes mother!!

oni x x

ps: u2u me if you need anything!

I can say two things that might help.

1. You are not alone, and people do care about your pain and want to make you feel better or be able to deal with it

2. The pain will never go away, but you learn to deal with it and it make syou stronger.

I am praying for you and your love ones in this time of need.

denial28
ok First try and calm down a little, This is a shock but you need to pull it together.

Get your self a coffee, sit down,

Now have you got family with you in the house now?


my thoughts are with you, And im sorry sorry to hear the bad news,



[edit on 30-9-2005 by asala]

This is a big shock to me, I lived with his family for 2 years before we moved up here to take care of my mom before she died. It was only a year June 30th, so the wounds are still kind of fresh, Thank you asala, I do have a cup of coffee. Hes an only child, so its going to be hard. His father wa estranged from his brother, and most of hs mom 's family didn't really know him too well. Joes uncle is coming to pick him up tomorrow so he can get down there.

We were actually planning on moving down there in November when our lease was up, so I guess we now know exactly where we're moving, weird how that worked out.. I'm ok right now. calmed down quite a bit

Alls I can say is we'll see what happens

First of all you have to be strong.
Just wait and see what happens.
Maybe it could help if you see a photo album again.

And you re not alone you know call somebody. Go there, go to your family, friends ...

and remember, your father lives on somwhere else!!!

you can always U2U me.

Thinking of you all, denial.

So sorry for your loss, hon.

Sorry for your loss, we are ONLY promised on thing in this world.

Hey all,
Thank you for all the prayers, I'll come in here and update up until monday, then it's off to the funeralWell, Joe left around 1 this afternoon to get down there. Its only about a 3 and a half hour drive. Today I had to run around getting my car reregistered, and insured and all that, looks like I get it inspected on monday, and then down there I go.

Ive been hanging around here today(this board), it's helping me through this, I am alone with my 2 year old, and I'm not breaking down much. His mom is trying to hang in there. I'm devastated that he's gone, I can only imagine what my mother in law is going through,they were married for 29 years, and then finding him, gone... I told my daughter Pappy went by by like Meema(my mom), she said "like aunt barbie?" Aunt Barbie died 3 years ago-she never knew her. Kind of reassuring to know that he's around good people.

For a little while last night, I caught a glimpse of exactly what it was like in his last minutes, I could feel the pressure in my chest, and kind of saw what he saw. Joes been feeling someone hugging him, but the most important thing is Joe and his dad were on very good terms. We all were that knew him best, so... I guess that will help with the healing.

I'm not sure how to take this, I want to be strong for them, but at the same time, I feel like I lost my dad, I was closer to him than my own dad...

Gosh so much for you to take in,

But know that at least we are al thinking about you and your family

And really if you need to vent please feel free to u2u me,

Its such a hard time for you, I have lost 2 family members this year so know pretty much how your feeling,

Make time for yourself also, And make sure you eat and drink as you need all the strengh you can get,

Remember to set some time for yourself to be able to let go a bit and have a cry, believe me it helps.

Thanks for the update, we are all thinking of you

Originally posted by denial28
Hey all,
Thank you for all the prayers, I'll come in here and update up until monday, then it's off to the funeralWell, Joe left around 1 this afternoon to get down there. Its only about a 3 and a half hour drive. Today I had to run around getting my car reregistered, and insured and all that, looks like I get it inspected on monday, and then down there I go.

Ive been hanging around here today(this board), it's helping me through this, I am alone with my 2 year old, and I'm not breaking down much. His mom is trying to hang in there. I'm devastated that he's gone, I can only imagine what my mother in law is going through,they were married for 29 years, and then finding him, gone... I told my daughter Pappy went by by like Meema(my mom), she said "like aunt barbie?" Aunt Barbie died 3 years ago-she never knew her. Kind of reassuring to know that he's around good people.

For a little while last night, I caught a glimpse of exactly what it was like in his last minutes, I could feel the pressure in my chest, and kind of saw what he saw. Joes been feeling someone hugging him, but the most important thing is Joe and his dad were on very good terms. We all were that knew him best, so... I guess that will help with the healing.

I'm not sure how to take this, I want to be strong for them, but at the same time, I feel like I lost my dad, I was closer to him than my own dad...

amm so sorry for your loss.try and stay positive and cherish the moments you spent with him.

Im trying, couldnt sleep last night, Joe and I spent about 6 hours cumulative on the phone, he and his mom are asking for my input on the final arrangements, and to be honest, I'm touched that they think this highly of me.. I'm not glad that it happened, but having gone through this with my mom last year, at least I can offer some guidance as to what processes you have to go through.

I have been working on the eulogy, I'm going to give at the service, and it's helping me cope. I am working my way through many fond memories of him, and I am kind of looking at this as his life should be celebrated and remembered, he accomplished everything he wanted to. I don't want to mourn him, that would be almost disrespectful to him. In his own words'That is What it's all about"

My daughter is sad that "Pappy is gone" and now she's worrying that her dad is gone too. Shes only 2 and a half, but she also understands that he isn't coming back she keeps making reference to loved ones that crossed over. SHe is now associating Joe in west virginia, with daddy not coming back. Joe explained to her that Pappy took a long trip to heaven, and now when I explain to her that daddy had to go be with mammaw, she thinks its the same sense of Pappy going away/

Kids are pretty resiliant, but if anyone could offer advice it would be great, I'm trying not to mention it too much in front of her, but Ill ask her whats wrong, and she usually will tell me.

I cannot express how much venting in here is helping, once again, thank you guys.

as most of you know, Im now back for a little while to pack up the house and get ready to move. The past 3 weeks have been bumpy to say the least. Greif is hard to deal with, let alone when someone has a pessimistic view as well.

Mom in law is a wonderful person, but I almost feel like shaking her. She relied so heavily on him to tke care of everything, that now she doesn't know what to do, she is even having problems balancing her checkbook. It makes it really hard when we have so much that has to happen in a 3 week span of time, IE our lease is up and we're moving down there, we have a 3 bedroom house to pack up, and we just found out theres a new addition to the family.Shes now relying on Joe to do the things that Joe sr did, and I'm starting to feel some resentment in the depth of this.

She has lived her life, we're just starting ours, not just that, but he's my hubby, and because he's so wrapped up in whats going on with her, I haven't even remotely had the chance to get any kind of TLC that I need right now.

Im at the point where it's like ok, its ok to greive, but we have to start living now or else all our lives will be in trouble. Time to get your head out of your hiney, and start taking a proactive approach. He'll always be dead now, but we won't always be living. I'm sorry for sounding crass, I'm just slightly ticked.
You have no idea how hard it is to try to explain this without coming across as an ingrate

To make matters worse, she's telling everyone about what a bad situation she was left in, and it isn't the case at all, there is no mortgage, the house and the land is completely paid for. She even has resources that pay the amount on property taxes
Its upsetting Joe because he doesnt want everyone thinking his dad left his mom penniless and widowed. He didnt in any shape or form.

Needless to say, I put my foot down when the both of them almost forced me to give up both of my cats because she doesnt like them. F that, if I HAVE to move someplace, pay utilities, lose my business, because were going to be living in bum egypt, over yonder, and dialup isn't very efficient when it comes to uploading a website. which my share is 900 a month, at least one of my furballs are coming with.