The President was in hot water, and decided to take a long vacation. He told the VP, "Now, Dick, there's going to be an investigation, and I've
made-up three envelopes. When they come around asking alot of questions about what we've been up to, I want you to open the first envelope. Do what
it says, and that will appease them and they will go away for a while.
But they will be back, and when they come back, I want you to open the second envelope and do what it says. Again, that will satisfy them, but again,
maybe only temporarily. If they come back a third time, open the third envelope and do what it says. That will fix things for you for sure." And
off goes the President, on vacation.
Sure enough, a week or two later, investigators come around asking a bunch of questions about what they've been up to. Dick remembers the first
envelope. He opens it, and it says, "Blame everything on everybody I ever hired." So Dick does just that, saying, "W hired Brownie over at FEMA
and Crawford over at the FDA, and everything just fell apart." The investigators seem satisfied, and they go away for a while.
Sure enough, the investigators are back before too long asking more questions, and Dick opens the second envelope. It says, "Blame everything on
me." That's exactly what Dick does, saying, "W made all these bad decisions and questionable choices, and everything just fell apart." The
investigators take that down and go away again.
By now it is clear the President has taken a permanent vacation, but the heat is still on, and Dick is now out of options. Facing another visit from
the investigators, he opens the third envelope.
It says, "Make up three envelopes."