One-footed Snorkel Monster, page 2


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reply posted on 13-10-2005 @ 10:00 AM by saint4God
Originally posted by Thomas Crowne
Of all places, why did this guy have to be from Alabama?


I've been to Alabama once, and it just so happens I ran into a 'mythical' creature of my own. I was watching the olympics (hey, how many channels do you expect in an old military base barracks?) when I saw something the size of an Altoids box...


(Yeah, about that size)

...chugging across the floor, which was concrete and a very, very thin layer of hard carpet. It was like this guy here but huge!



He was a fatty, lemme tell ya. So I picked up the Birmingham Phone Book.



For those of you who are not versed in the size and weight of the Birmingham Phone Book, it's comparable to the two stone tablets Moses brought down from the mountain in the Ten Commandments. So anyway, it smashed a golden calf for him so I figured this would be fairly quick and easy. I raised the phonebook and threw it straight and squarely upon him. *BLAM!*. After a moment of silence and mourning, I lifted up the book and he scurries off realizing that something may be trying to affect him on his way to wherever he was going. Realizing he'd still be around post-nuclear attack and I would not, I captured him into a plastic cup, put cling-wrap over the top (being careful to punch holes in the top for air), and named him Cornelius.

That buggar was smart though, and managed to make his escape when I wasn't looking. It was then I realized he was a specially trained, top secret spy looking to steal classified base information for Liechtenstein Special Services Unit. Huh! Neutrality indeed. With such booming banking and economic growth, are they planning some military operations of their own? This puzzle has yet to be solved, but their agents are no match for a plastic cup and cling-wrap. Just be sure you post a guard.

Next time I'm calling Bruce Campbell since he did such a great job with that scarab in Bubba Ho-Tep:


Go Elvis and JFK! Get that ancient egyptian mummy!


[edit on 13-10-2005 by saint4God]


reply posted on 6-9-2012 @ 09:55 PM by Pigraphia
reply to post by gostr


I listen to it for entertainment value now a days.

Some of the topics are interesting, but Noory even manages to ruin the good topics.
He doesn't ask critical questions and just seems to be a yes man.
Add to that back to back interviews with conflicting theories and he worships each guest equally.
Throw in a dash of he doesn't know what the hell he is talking about most of the time and it's quite annoying.
He constantly misquotes scientific journals, and even contradicts himself from time to time.

Listening to old shows with Art Bell, I wish he would be the full time host.
Art would hold onto a question like a pit bull until it was answered.

All of this makes me just listen to the show for shiggles these days.
Which sucks, because I miss the quality days.
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