Originally posted by Thomas Crowne
Of all places, why did this guy have to be from Alabama?
I've been to Alabama once, and it just
so happens I ran into a 'mythical' creature of my own. I was watching the olympics (hey, how many
channels do you expect in an old military base barracks?) when I saw something the size of an Altoids box...
(Yeah, about that size)
...chugging across the floor, which was concrete and a very, very thin layer of hard carpet. It was like this guy here but huge!
He was a fatty, lemme tell ya. So I picked up the Birmingham Phone Book.
For those of you who are not versed in the size and weight of the Birmingham Phone Book, it's comparable to the two stone tablets Moses brought down
from the mountain in the Ten Commandments. So anyway, it smashed a golden calf for him so I figured this would be fairly quick and easy. I raised
the phonebook and threw it straight and squarely upon him. *BLAM!*
. After a moment of silence and mourning, I lifted up the book and he
scurries off realizing that something may be trying to affect him on his way to wherever he was going. Realizing he'd still be around post-nuclear
attack and I would not, I captured him into a plastic cup, put cling-wrap over the top (being careful to punch holes in the top for air), and named
That buggar was smart though, and managed to make his escape when I wasn't looking. It was then I realized he was a specially trained, top secret
spy looking to steal classified base information for Liechtenstein Special Services Unit. Huh! Neutrality indeed. With such booming banking and
economic growth, are they planning some military operations of their own? This puzzle has yet to be solved, but their agents are no match for a
plastic cup and cling-wrap. Just be sure you post a guard.
Next time I'm calling Bruce Campbell since he did such a great job with that scarab in Bubba Ho-Tep:
Go Elvis and JFK! Get that ancient egyptian mummy!
[edit on 13-10-2005 by saint4God]