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(MSFE) Fimbul Lost

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posted on Sep, 23 2005 @ 02:47 AM
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Hi guys. Here is my little entry in the Fragile Earth mini-contest. All of the entries have been just spectacular. The quality of our little community of writers here at ATS continues to improve and it was great to see new members make submissions.

For this story, Fimbul Lost, I decided to set it in the Ice Age, just to be different. Actually, it's set right at the end of the Ice Age, hence the title. It's exactly 500 words in length. I hope you like it, guys. Excellent work to all and let's see a similar level of support and comraderie when the contest finishes.


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Fimbul Lost

The world was changing and Yarlc was overjoyed. As he looked out over a vista that had once borne the weight of a river of ice, Yarlc summoned the earliest tellings of his tribe, delving into ancient memories that flittered, like moths at the edge of a warming flame, on the cusp of plunging into the ashen wastes of things that had been forever forgotten. The tellings that he conjured spoke of the world before the ice had come to lay on the land. Now, that world was come again and bore with it promises of prosperity and the crush of grass beneath children’s feet.

The flowing plain that lay before him had been a sea of snow since before the time of Yarlc’s grandfather’s grandfather. Now the sun, as though with a renewed sense of purpose and urgency, burnished the plain in dazzling hues of gold and copper. Tall, slender reeds and grasses lapped the feet of the hills like the tide, swaying lazily in the gentle breeze that blew down off the forbidding mountains. Strange plants with soft leaves of many colours bunched and dotted the plain, oases of stunning beauty on a canvas of grass.

In his mind, Yarlc reckoned this change to be a great omen from the Gods. His Other was not long from birthing their first child, and Yarlc knew that the Gods would favour him with a son, and he would be healthy and strong and would grow to manhood in a new world of living colour, devoid of the crushing grey grip of ceaseless snow and endless ice. In his mind’s eye, Yarlc saw the joy on his Other’s face when he spoke to her of the change which was upon the world and the promise it held for their son. His chest swelled when he thought of the pride that would be his when the Knowing Man praised his findings and honoured him before the tribe. The world had changed and Yarlc’s people would be its masters.

The spear pierced Yarlc’s chest with such savage speed that there was scant time for pain. Its wicked barbs tore through his heavily muscled back, cracking his spine and his ribs. His heart split and Yarlc grew cold as his body spat its most intimate secrets upon the stony ground. Turning, Yarlc beheld a strange creature. At first glance, it appeared similar to Yarlc himself, but it stood a full head taller and was lean and muscular where Yarlc was broad and heavyset. The creature’s body was covered with strange markings and in its hands it bore weapons of curious design. As his legs gave way and the ground flung itself at him, Yarlc offered an unspoken prayer to the Gods that his son would grow to know the beauty of the plain and the warm kiss of the sun against his skin. As darkness bled into the corners of his vision, Yarlc observed the strange creature casually approach him, to retrieve its weapon.

[edit on 23/9/05 by Jeremiah25]




posted on Sep, 23 2005 @ 09:03 PM
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Damn, That was beautiful in its description and disturbing with its truth. Cro-magnon did move in on the neanderthals and say, "Nice planet you have here and guess what? We're the new tenants."

You've painted a picture of an epic turning in this worlds history. Had the Neanderthals been the winners in the battle for supremacy we wouldn't be living in the world we live in today.

This was a very good story about a time and place that lead to the destiny of us all, to the existence of us all.

Good job my friend.

Love and light,

Wupy



posted on Sep, 27 2005 @ 06:06 PM
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Hi Jeremiah25,

I loved reading your story! You have the gift of a true author, because your use of visual description is amazing. I could "see" and experience everything that Yarlc did, even his death, which took me(as well as Yarlc!) by surpise. All of his hope an vision gone in one instant. I also picked up on the irony of Yarlc's hopeful vision of the future. A future whose dominant creature will be the one who killed Yarlc without provication. I see our current peoples as the future ancestors of this creature.

I agree with you about how great this contest is turning out to be. One could almost feel intimidated.
Great story Jeremiah25! Good luck to you.



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