ThreadKillers Anonymous

Yes we have a general council, and this will be Discussed vigorously. I'm afraid we're gonna have to dissolve our treaty with the Pirates. Ninjas are just unacceptable allies.

My NinjaKittyflea spy has just revealed that the piratical ninja alliance is in tatters. Some chap, code-named ‘truttseeker’, has dissolved the alliance with the Ninjas in fear of retribution from us.

Spy Horito has learnt the pirates will now try to re-align themselves with us once again, with promises of booty and grog.

Beloved Leader, I wish to point out that if they form alliances then break them this easily, they should not be considered worthy allies to our cause.

I personally, can see nothing to gain from our continued involvement with these people and would hope that you will rebuff their advances, if and when they communicate with you.

I believe that instead of an alliance, we'll sign a non-agression pact with them. I'm not comfortable with people that make and break alliances so easily. Thank the ninjaflea spies for their most excellent report, and for going deep undercover on behalf of the TKA.

I think that is a very good idea.

Far be it from me to dictate foreign policy, but perhaps you should send an envoy to convey our *demands* err wishes to the pirates.

May I respectfully suggest Our Lady Tinkleflower? She is unknown to the Pirates, is well rested from her travels and will make an excellent ambassador. I feel sure that the Pirates will trust her and not make trouble.

Duzey the Special Green Dragon Lady and I could follow at a distance on our most warlike elephants and act as both military advisors and Tinkleflower’s bodyguards.

Should the pirates cause any problems, the sudden appearance of our war elephants blowing huge footballs towards them with their trunks, would sow immediate confusion within the piratical ranks and we could extract Tinkleflower without let or hindrance.

An excellent idea as usual Sir Fritz. Tinkleflower, it's gonna be up to you to approach the pirates with our new non-agression pact. NOT an alliance, simply a non-agression pact.

Tallyho!

Fritz and I get to take the elephants out for a spin! Woohoo!

A small rant: This place is a cesspool of digusting diplays of nationalism focused on 'my country is better than your country - neener neener neener '. I can barely stand to read it anymore. :shk:

No joking this time - some of the people here are disgusting.

Oh yeah? Well the US is better than Canada! You guys gave the world Bryan Adams, and Celine Dion! That's SO WRONG!

All kidding aside, I agree Duzey. It's getting really insane around here lately. All the "I'd wipe them off the map" and "Turn them into a glass parking lot" is getting disgusting.

I agree that Celine and Bryan are evil.

Funny and true Bryan Adams story that is never heard outside of Vancouver:

In Vancouver, we have a very popular morning show radio team called 'Larry & Willy'. They are quite possibly the two most recognizable people in the city and they pull the absolute best pranks.

Several years ago (over a decade), they dressed up like Christmas trees and knocked on Adams door. When he opened up, they started singing Christmas carols for him. Mr. "I have no sense of humour and an ego bigger than all outdoors' Adams called the police and had them arrested for trespassing.

This was a really bad PR move for him because most of the people from around here like Larry & Willy better than Bryan.

..........

I think Thomas Crowne is right, cheesecake may be our only chance of saving the world. Too bad I don't like cheesecake.

We had Willie Moku here. Oh he could pull pranks off like you wouldn't belive. One year he had people lined up downtown waiting for a parade that never existed, and was never going to ever exist. Truly classic. Sadly he passed away a couple of years ago after a long illness.

A non-existant parade?!?!? That's classic.

Larry and Willy once paid a listener to legally change his name to 'Haywood Jablowmi'.

Oh it was genius. They had people calling in asking where the parade was at. Let me tell you the people were PISSED when it came out it was an April Fools joke.

Guys, you call those pranks? :shk:

When I was in the RAF on Queen's Flight, we had a black guy called Ashley, who was our general duties guy. Nothing was beneath him, he told racist jokes, worked all the hours God sent and could drink most people under the table. All this at the tender age of 18.

Ashley was a wonderful practicle joker. One day on an exercise, we got ever so slightly drunk......maybe a bit tipsy. I woke up in the morning, stark
naked, tied to a tree, with my underpants over my head. To make matters worse, my rifle was nowhere to be seen.

I missed First Parade and got 7 days jankers (cp) and swore vengence.

One day in the Mess Kitchen, we absolutely soaked Ashley with water, grabbed him, turned him upside down and stuffed him in a dustbin full of flour.

When he spluttered his way out of the bin, he looked like a reverse 'Black and White Minstrel' player [an out of date BBC TV show in which white men and women 'blacked up' to sing 'black' songs]

True to form, Ashley calmly went and had a shower and came back to work.

Several days later Paul, our very good mate, was walking to work when he tripped over a length of cord, tied at ground level and stretched between 2 trees.

He told me later that as he fell, he could hear something above him and looked up, just in time to see a couple of pounds of soot fall all over him.

Ashleys revenge!

I got my revenge in the town of Reading in Berkshire. There used to be a Top Rank disco type club where all used to go and get drunk.

One Saturday night after copious amounts of beer and Pernod, my friends Dave, Andy, John and I, hid outside the club and waited for Ashley to come out.

When Paul and Ashley walked out, Dave, John, Andy and I stabbed him repeatedly with joke magicians knives. There was fake blood all over the place, Ashley was lying on the pavement screaming thinking he'd been stabbed and we were just peeing ourselves with laughter.

God! Those were the days! Couldn't do that now, of course. PC brigade etc.

That's too funny.

Oh look, it's Larry and Willy getting ready for the Olympics!

*makes note to self not to upset the cat*

Originally posted by Duzey
*makes note to self not to upset the cat*

Too late Special Green Dragon Lady! You have already upset me!
I am overwhelmed with sudden bouts of depression, sadness and can't stop crying

.............wanders away from the computer, banging into things because he can't see through the tears......wondering how the Dragon Lady might upset him :shk:

Duzey my Special Green Dragon Lady, I was upset because you can't upset me........................................unless you try to grab all the glory as we charge the pirates with our blow-footballing elephants, of course.

Friend and Benevolent Leader......................have you seen the blow footballs? They appear to be missing.:shk:

Incidentially, where is our beloved Tinkleflower? Has she not reported for duty as our most Prestigious Ambassador?

Originally posted by fritz




Black and White Minstrel' player [an out of date BBC TV show in which white men and women 'blacked up' to sing 'black' songs]

I should say that this is a "an out of date" TV show. Can you imagine the uproar that would occur if this type of show was ever broadcast on American TV? It would make the Muslim cartoon riots look like a tea party in comparison -- and that's just from "white America". What sort of idiotic concept was that for a television show?

Anyway, that was just an aside, back to the important business of appointing an ambassador to the ninja, monkeys or whatever.....

I killed the footballs. I stomped all over them because the woman freaked for no reason whatsoever and blew things up. But they're ok now. I'll go out tomorrow and buy more footballs.

I don't know where Tinky is.

Ninja Ambassador?! Not in MY clubhouse you aren't!! Out! The power of TKA compells you!

Originally posted by benevolent tyrant

Originally posted by fritz




Black and White Minstrel' player [an out of date BBC TV show in which white men and women 'blacked up' to sing 'black' songs]

I should say that this is a "an out of date" TV show. Can you imagine the uproar that would occur if this type of show was ever broadcast on American TV? It would make the Muslim cartoon riots look like a tea party in comparison -- and that's just from "white America". What sort of idiotic concept was that for a television show?

Anyway, that was just an aside, back to the important business of appointing an ambassador to the ninja, monkeys or whatever.....

If you are going to quote me, at least have the decency to quote the article in full instead of just using the inflammatory bits.

I do expect an apology.

Please don't upset the kitty

'Blackface' originated in the US. So I'm pretty sure they know all about how offensive it is.