ThreadKillers Anonymous

i think this woulden thread is suffering from term mights.

Don't worry about termites, the ninja fleas will take care of them!

Now that I'm done laughing (20 minutes later) I like Bingo best Duzey. I think we can house train him. The first candidate was cute, but those silly laws. The third one was a crime against humanity. *laugh*

I just got to see something I haven't seen in a long long time. The most INCREDIBLE starfield. You can barely see stars at home, but my god it's perfect over here for viewing. There are almost NO lights at all, except house lights. My better half and I went down to the beach near where we are living, and it was just gorgeous. You can see forever. You can see all the things that you hear about, but that you can't see except for going to the places that are so out of the way that they're dangerous back home. They did a study one time that showed that JUST the island of Oahu (where I live) has more street lights per mile/per capita than the entire STATE of California.

Originally posted by Duzey
PS. Congratulations Nik on winning the short story contest. I see you have been crowned the new 'king'!

Even your short stories wear little cowboy hats.

[edit on 31-10-2005 by Duzey]

I SO have to make that my sig.

Thanks guys!



I am still amazed at how I go away and come back the next day and the most bizarre, delightful things appear on my screen. Now we are hiring weird maids and Kala is threatening Billy Bob's life.

You are all my bestest most favouritest peoples in the whole wide Internet world.

I might actually have a bed soon, my grandmother moved back home. So, no more "under the bed" stories.

I get my mic back tonight! Get ready for crazy podcasts, I have quite a few starter ideas.

First thing I do in the morning now is check this thread

i think this woulden thread is suffering from term mights.

I liked that. Knights of Columbus that hurt!

[edit on 11/1/2005 by Kalapadea]

Originally posted by nikelbee
You are all my bestest most favouritest peoples in the whole wide Internet world.

We love you too, Nik!!!

Teehee, the boss is late so I snuck in to say 'Hi' to you guys. I'm so naughty.....

I missed Tinkle so much last night I went back and read her 'hairdye/hospital' story again. It was just as funny as I'd remembered it.

I miss Tinkle too. When I get home I'm gonna reread her hairdye thread. I don't think anyone can top that. But she said she had weirder stories (???) I wonder if she's decided to quit us cold turkey Duze?

*sobs*



[edit on 1-11-2005 by nikelbee]

Just checking in to say Hello all, I am off to the barn... My horse is off to Missouri so Im going to take a final ride. Congrats on the Story Nikelbee I am so proud of you, and Kal, my hair was that color a few years ago, I had a mohawk that color that went down to my butt, IT was awesome.

Well Ill see you kids later

Denial : That's uhh... interesting. :shk:


There's no way she went cold turkey, NO WAY. We can't even consider that a possibility.

I'm requoting Tinkleflower's wonderful curl up and dye thread.

Want to hear a really dodgy medic/ER story?

Sit tight...

Imagine, if you will......

It's just after 5 pm, you've had three glasses of a cheap-and-cheerful cabernet, donated by your (increasingly weird, but sweet nonetheless) neighbour (who is celebrating the fact her Sperm Donor has left), and together you've walked down to the local book repository place.

You're surfing the web at said library, and you happen to check The Bad Evil Email Account (the one you used to sign up for the free pr0n site, which lied about it's promise to "nevuh evuh sell your email address, evuh. No Sirree").

You just happen to see a Yoo Are Ell involving the words "shave" "rave" "bathe" and "crave". In one title. Being the lover of silly rhymes that you are, you decide - after quick sideways glances to check nobody is watching - to click on the link.

You find a page with mountains of pictures.

Of multicoloured crotches.

Pubic hair, dyed just about every colour known to man (and some previously unknown, I'd venture).

Yellow pubes.

Blue pubes.

Green.

Red.

Pink.

More here

Tinkle, come back to us soon - we miss you!

*sniff*

[edit on 1-11-2005 by nikelbee]

A little search in google turned up fabulous 'How Tos'

Q: My pubic hair is turning gray! Is it safe to dye it?

A: It's not only safe, it's stylish: A recent hot Hollywood look in hair down there is the "Tiffany Box," where the bikini area is waxed into a small square, bleached out, and dyed powder blue like the jewelry store gift boxes. Yeah, that's a little extreme, but you can see the possibilities.

www.prevention.com...

***

Dear Alice,

My girlfriend and I were wondering about dying her pubic hair. Is it okay to use regular hair dye or are there special products to use for it?

Colored hairs


Dear Colored hairs,

Changing the shade of your girlfriend's pubic hair may seem like a colorful idea, but it's not recommended. The reason is that the major companies that manufacture hair color — regular, natural/herbal, and henna — only test their products on head hair. Due to potential complications, they do not recommend dying any other body hair, including pubic hairs, eyelashes, and eyebrows. After a thorough check, there don't appear to be any special products available for the exclusive purpose of tinting pubic hairs; women and men who choose to color below the belt do so at their own risk. So, if you and your girlfriend want to play beauty parlor with her pubes — instead of using hair dye — find colored mousse, gel, or hair mascara that washes out with one shampoo. Trimming and shaping can be another fun alternative to coloring. Perhaps she might like to get in on the action and trim and shape your pubes as well.

www.goaskalice.columbia.edu...

[edit on 1-11-2005 by nikelbee]

A search on google images for 'Merkin' brought up some very disturbing things. There is a page called 'World of Wigs' which is interesting as the top 9 bestselling wigs are the following:

1. Black & white B894V2 - (this is number one??)
2. China Doll
3. Beaded Cleo
4. Mrs. Doubtfire (what?? Who would wear such a thing? Potential nannies?)
5. Chest Hair (people are buying this ??)
6. Dutch Girl (oh boy)
7. Merkin (no explanation needed)
8. Bargain China (bargain, when REAL China is too expensive)
9. Ginger Spice

My question is this... Who is buying these things??? Interns? Presidential wannabees? Are these fetish wigs or wigs for normal people who don't have much hair? They seem very expensive for joke wigs. Take the Abe Lincoln wig (65 USD) who would buy that?

Take a look at these:

The Abe Lincoln



The Monica Lewinsky



The Fancy Lion Set



The Van Dyke Beard



Is it me or do these wigs just look ridiculously cheap, gaudy and totally unconvincing. The Monica looks nothing like Monica. There is no beret, for starters.

[edit on 1-11-2005 by nikelbee]

And now it's time for something completely different.

ARTHUR: Halt! Hallo! Hallo!
GUARD: 'Allo! Who is zis?
ARTHUR: It is King Arthur, and these are the Knights of the Round
Table. Who's castle is this?
GUARD: This is the castle of my master, Guy de Loimbard!
ARTHUR: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God
with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for
the night he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.
GUARD: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very
keen... Uh, he's already got one, you see?
ARTHUR: What?
GALAHAD: He says they've already got one!
ARTHUR: Are you sure he's got one?
GUARD: Oh, yes, it's very nice-a (I told him we already got one)
ARTHUR: Well, um, can we come up and have a look?
GUARD: Of course not! You are English types-a!
ARTHUR: Well, what are you then?
GUARD: I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent,
you silly king!
GALAHAD: What are you doing in England?
GUARD: Mind your own business!
ARTHUR: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your
castle by force!
GUARD: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your
bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you,
so-called Arthur-king, you and all your silly English kaniggets.
Thppppt!
GALAHAD: What a strange person.
ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man!
GUARD: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed
animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! You
mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
GALAHAD: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
GUARD: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!

Kala

Are you trying to distract me from my public service announcement? I am bringing awareness to the people. Don't drink and dye. Be a friend.

I was so mentally disturbed from your post I had to deviate.

Which part in particular disturbed you? The dying advice or the terrible wigs?

Both, and tinkle's original account.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail was the bestestestest movie EVER!

"What, behind the rabbit?" "It EEES the rabbit!" "What?! I nearly soiled my armor I was so scared!"

Great, Great Movie. I figured when we moved beyond the remnants of halloween, we could do a Monty Python trilogy night.

Pay attention to you who are awake for the next 6 hours, I should be doing some podcastin.