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ThreadKillers Anonymous

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posted on Oct, 18 2005 @ 09:05 AM
How about.... oh I dunno, do you read into gov't conspiracies? lol, umm...
Whatever you can come up with, anything about earth is good too

posted on Oct, 18 2005 @ 09:11 AM

Originally posted by fritz
Has the arrival of the Mods scared people off?

Nothing to be concerned about....It's actually a bit like witnessing the occasional migrant bird blown waaaaay off course and landing in strange territory....

There should be no danger as long as they haven't tracked the bird flu inside with them...

You haven't done that now have you, FredT and TC?

EDIT: Of course, TC's underwear habits may serve as a good anti-viral against such things. I guess that leaves FredT to be suspicious of.... But in any event, you will note in my signature, I come well prepared.

[edit on 18-10-2005 by loam]

posted on Oct, 18 2005 @ 09:44 AM
Ok guys. I'm outa here. I may occsionally check in while I'm gone, but I have more important things to take care of while I'm there. If all goes well I'll be back on the 10th.

Duzey keep an eye on things while I'm gone.

Tink hope to have you back soon.

Nik good luck with the cold turkey.

Kalapeda and Loam keep things lively here.

Fritz get those fleas trained better so that we can take over ATS after I get back.

So long guys, be good while I'm gone.

posted on Oct, 18 2005 @ 10:09 PM
/looks at loam

Greeny, entertain me...

posted on Oct, 18 2005 @ 11:01 PM

posted on Oct, 19 2005 @ 09:17 AM
*sigh* I guess I'll have to do a podcast tonight on the wonders of goldfish... and pirahna.

posted on Oct, 19 2005 @ 09:20 AM
*knock knock*

Darn, forgot my key...

Oh, thanks for opening the door Fritz's fleas. Where is everyone??? Oh no! What have you done in the kitchen? We told you, no making mini pizzas in the toaster! grrr

Anyway, Hi y'all. I'm back.
OKie, I didn't make my goal of a week. Not even close. What can I say? I missed all of you too much. I have pressie for everyone. But first let me say, the world is a very cold, lonely place. i could not wait to get back.

*digs in bag*


For Kalapadea I got this warm sleeping bag/inflatable mattress - that's right, I said inflatable MATTRESS. After viewing pics of your cubbyhole bed, I thought this might be nicer.

For Loamy I got this:

Cute huh?

For Fritz I have nice kitty brushes that will feel good on your fur and Mexican catnip *wink*

For Fritz' fleas I have nothing but a stern warning. Clean up that kitchen or else no television later!

For Zaph (when he returns) I bought him a collection of Neruda's 20 poems of Love.
So he can woo his honey w/out going broke.

For Twinkle I have girly gossipy news
teheheheeh - hurry back so we can have tea and chat.

And for Duze (last not least my dear) I have these Italian boots. Nice for autumn. Not Ferras but still good.

Then again maybe these go better with the 'girls'?

[edit on 19-10-2005 by nikelbee]

posted on Oct, 19 2005 @ 09:38 AM

We all knew you couldn't stay away, I try to stay away on weekends, and I fail.

/drives to movies "Must check ATS"
/sits in movie "must check ATS"
/sleeps "must check ATS"
/sits at work "must check ATS"
/sits in traffic "must check ATS"
/gets car searched by dudes with rifles at tunnel "Must post in ATS"

saying you'll leave ATS for a week, without being physically without a computer is like saying you'll climb everest with a desktop computer strapped to your back so you can use it at the top while your army of monkeys runs a power generator. Good luck

Thanks for the mattress, it's comfy, I'll sleep well tonight

EDIT: Well, since shipping is so much, I decided that you should send an "e-mattress" for my brain, that way, when I space out, my thoughts are in comfort... yes.

[edit on 10/19/2005 by Kalapadea]

posted on Oct, 19 2005 @ 12:46 PM
Nik!!! loamy!!! kalapadea!!!

I miss you all! Work is too busy right now but hopefully I can hang out with you later.

I just wanted to let you all know I am still alive.

Loving the boots!!!!

Nik, is your avatar is honour of loam?

posted on Oct, 19 2005 @ 10:38 PM
Duzey! YAY!

Well, I guess that feeling of loss, that depression, really was short lived. As soon as tink comes back, we'll all be happy, since zaph will be "checking in at times" to make sure we didn't burn the place down.

posted on Oct, 20 2005 @ 09:00 AM
Is there any way that I can join Thread Killers? Even though I've only recently joined ATS, I seem to be developing this knack of killing threads stone cold dead whenever I appear. At best my posts are ignored, at worst I'm responsible for the murder of many many defenceless threads.

Here are some examples of my finest work so far:'''

These two are particularly pleasing. Not quite the last post but second from last and signalled the end to lively discussions.''

There are others out there too. Just do a search for any of my posts and you'll find a bunch of threads where my name is at the bottom (or at best, second from bottom).

Incidently, thread killing (and its close cousin of infanithreadicide - where threads are killed merely by posting a new topic) is a skill I've honed and developed on a number of other messageboards through the years. I look forward to continuing to advance my craft on ATS and would appreciate any advice as to what I need to join your group. Do you need references? Is there an application form I need to fill out? Do I need to take a test? Is there a secret ballot and a grazing ceremony where I have to wear my underpants on my head while standing in a bucket of horse manure while singing the national anthem. Backwards. In Finnish. On a Tuesday.

[edit on 20-10-2005 by kedfr]

posted on Oct, 20 2005 @ 10:02 AM
Hi Kedfr

Have a seat, help yourself to donuts and coffee/tea/ or mountain dew and we will get back to you shortly.

Meanwhile, you may want to start memorizing those Finnish lyrics and learn this dance too.

posted on Oct, 20 2005 @ 10:06 AM
And you thought it would be easy, mwahahaha.

Hi there, welcome to the humble abode. A word to the wise, don't eat the talking donuts, and watch out for the ninjafleas. I don't think they're awake yet though anyhow. Just be careful, the lounge gets a little cray. Oh, and if you touch my mattres, I'll either A.) Kill you B.) Ask the ninja fleas to kill you or C.) Kill you.

That is all....for now,

/Spins around with a padded 2 by 4


posted on Oct, 20 2005 @ 10:22 AM
'Someone' is a little touchy today hmmmmm. Did the Ninja fleas take up your mattress again last night Kalapadea? I noticed they were playing strip poker until 4:30 AM, when I banished them to their own place under the cat bowl.

We're going to have to talk to Fritz about them. I noticed they have elected a leader to represent them and I thought I heard the words 'Union Representative' when I went to make a pot of tea.

posted on Oct, 20 2005 @ 10:33 AM
Touchy? Nah, just tired... like usual. I was watching TC and keenie kick Ycon out of chat like 10 times last night, got to bed around 4:00 (EST).

If the fleas were there, I didn't notice em... that explains it.

oh yea, and I'll ge this out here, Zed's a pansy! Went to bed at like 3 EST, he's in seattle, WIMP! even TC stayed later! (jk jk)

Yea, it was a good time, too good... yes.

I'm having fun.

posted on Oct, 20 2005 @ 10:43 AM
Sorry that it's not a Tuesday but I can assure you that I'm standing in a bucket of horse manure. I've kept one around here just in case it might come in useful. So here it is:

kuningatar sita pelastaa Jumala
meitä päälle vallita Pitkä
kunniakas sekä onnistunut
voitollinen hänelle Suoda

kuningatar sita pelastaa Jumala
kuningatar komea meidän Pitkäikäine
kuningatar laupias meidän pelastaa Jumala

Apologies to all Finnish speakers here for this bastardised translation. And for being backwards - I just hope that I'm not actually summoning a demon or something. You never know.

If you want God Save the Queen the way all Finns would probably never say in their lives, here it is:

Jumala pelastaa meidän laupias kuningatar
Pitkäikäine meidän komea kuningatar
Jumala pelastaa sita kuningatar

Suoda hänelle voitollinen
onnistunut sekä kunniakas
Pitkä vallita päälle meitä
Jumala pelastaa sita kuningatar

(Many thanks to

Unfortunately, I'm having some problems with the dance and can't quite get it right at the moment. Here's my best attempt so far:

posted on Oct, 20 2005 @ 01:55 PM

You're gonna fit in just nicely around here....

Welocme back Nik.

posted on Oct, 20 2005 @ 02:05 PM
Press Release
October, 20 2005

Unconfirmed rumours hit the airways yesterday about the possible disbanding of controversial fringe group, Thread Killers Anonymous.

“That’s nonsense,” said Benevolent Tyrant Zaphod58, before leaving on his holiday,
“Threadkillers will never die and you can quote me on that”.

The group’s leader then listed a slew of links the group had killed in the past month alone.

“We provide the service of both purposeful and unintentional killings,” he went on to say.

TKA has enjoyed a large membership and is celebrating its 700th post this week.

In Zaphod’s temporary absence, the group will be run by Duzey (AKA Number 2). We had a chance to interview on her way to a meeting.

“So tell us what the situation is with TKA? We heard rumours of splinter groups and dissention within the ranks. Can you confirm whether this is true?

“Absolutely not,” she said, getting into her Lambergini. “It’s like this, Zaph’s on holiday, Tinkleflower is waiting for a visit from Alex Bell, Nikelbee is gone off to ‘find herself’, although she returned after only two days, so there must have not been much to find. From the warrior group, Queenannie is working incognito and Fritz is infiltrating the threads with his Proto Ninja fleas.

“How about Kalapadea,” we asked. “We heard he was founding his own group, Sleepless Anonymous.”

“That’s just ridiculous. Kalapadea has been given a new role, but I’m not at liberty to make the announcement yet. You’ll hear from me in a few days.”

Can you confirm that TKA was ‘officially’ visited by two Mods the other day? There are rumours of TC and FredT airing out their dirty laundry. Would this be the reason most of the senior staff members have gone underground?”

“No. No. And No.”

“There was talk of a COPS style raid on your headquarters and copious donut flushing by Nikelbee.”

Again, I’m not at liberty to reveal that information.”

“Are you confirming the raid then?”

“I’m afraid you’ll have to talk to Kalapadea about that. He will be representing TKA in the counter suit.”

“Well can you tell us if it is true that the group is hiding out infamous green rebel Loam the Dragonslayer?”

“No comment.”

“How about the rumour that Fritz’s ninja fleas have taken control of TKA headquarters and staged a coup?”

“Again no comment,” said Duzey, putting on her sunglasses.

“One more question please.”

“Make it snappy.”

“Can you tell us if you think the days are numbered for this thread? Many are saying it has lived long past any point of usefulness.”

“You’ll have to submit any further questions in writing to Zaphod58. Now please move your truck out of the way, you’re in my spot.”

So there you have it. The unconfirmed rumours have been denied. All eyes will be on TKA to see what happens next.

posted on Oct, 20 2005 @ 05:17 PM
to Nik, Press Secretary extraordinaire.

Welcome Kedfr, here's your nametag:

TKA is not going anywhere, unless our thread gets binned. We provide a valuable public service.

I'm just not sure what it is....

posted on Oct, 20 2005 @ 07:18 PM
I Thought it was something like, "Keeping Kalapadea from roaming throughout the boards mercilessly posting and killing"

And just denying boredom, we're good at that.

Horse Manure....mwahaha, few ideas come to mind...

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