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ThreadKillers Anonymous

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posted on Jun, 9 2006 @ 04:36 PM

quote: Originally posted by Loam

And your excuse is????????????

I was out getting ice cream! Plus I had that whole Jim Morrison desert dream thing going on. Remember? Read the signs Loam, read the signs.

Where were you?

posted on Jun, 10 2006 @ 12:04 AM
Where'd ya go for ice cream Nik? The moon?
That must have been some ice cream!
Where can I get some?

posted on Jun, 10 2006 @ 06:11 PM
Hi guys.

I've been out inadvertently murdering perfectly good threads on this board and many others. I started a thread here on the DaVinci code and no one replied!

NO ONE! I wasn't even in 'stealth mode.' :shk:

It is really getting bad. So I got a blog. I'll kill it. :bash:

Are there any pastries around? I'm hungry...

posted on Jun, 10 2006 @ 10:29 PM
Well well well. The Prodigal Daughter returns to us.
It's about time! I was expecting a report MONTHS ago!

Have some pastries, and watch out for elephant poo.

posted on Jun, 11 2006 @ 02:46 AM
Short report? :shk: That would be any reply to my posts....

Just kidding. I stay away, frankly, because I fear I will kill us! That would be the ultimate atrocity! Killing the threadkiller's thread. Horror of horrors.

I don't want to ...

What th...

Alright! Where did this big pile of poo come from?!?!?!

Someone owes me a new pair of Vans! And a donut (since I dropped mine in the poo!)
unless anyone's got a towel, I'll just wipe it off....

Kidding! Again! About the donut, not the poo!!!

posted on Jun, 11 2006 @ 03:34 AM
A very big welcome back Queen Annie.

I'm afraid my love, that the Very Special Green Dragon Lady Duzey and I persuaded our Great and Benevolent Master Zaph, to invest the TKA Clubhouse funds in a half troop of 'blow-footballing pachyderms'.

Originally, the 4 elephants were purchased to counter an invasion by the Pirates Association but, once Duzey gave our pachyderms the secret of flight and they saw this, the Pirates went off to do piratical things to somebody else.

Nowadays Queen Annie, they just get underfoot and leave piles of poo everywhere.

posted on Jun, 11 2006 @ 04:43 PM
Oh. Well. That explains the odor. As well as the recent rash of high-seas chicanery going on down near Bermuda...

And here I was thinking I should suggest a change in kitty litter brand, since that's the only kind of poo anyone was worried about before I set off to conquer the forum boards of the world! I apologize, Fritz--you've never been so stinky, so I should have realized.

I don't know where the poo is deeper: in here or out there!

Of course, out there, couches are often occupied or uncomfortable and one must pay for one's refreshments.

I guess I'll get used to the smell. My granny lived next door to a dairy for years, and I got accustomed to that, so anything is possible, I suppose.

Do you think Duzey might teach me how to fly, too? I'm dying to learn!

posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 11:26 AM
Well at least we can agree that this widdle, genteel puddy tat don't stink and yes! You should have realised
, you know we cats are easily hurt.

posted on Jun, 12 2006 @ 11:31 AM
I'm so sorry My Queen.

With regards to the question of whether or not Duzey will teach you to fly, I have a couple of questions for your security check.

1. Are you Green?
2. Do you have scaley skin?
3. Do you have two large nostrils that trail smoke about the place?
4. Do you have stubby little wings growing out of your back?
5. Do you like very bright\shiny\sparkly things?
6. Do you have very small forelegs but very big powerful back legs?
7. Do you have the ability to turn Knights in to freshly cooked tinned stew?

posted on Jun, 14 2006 @ 11:44 PM

What's that smell????

posted on Jun, 15 2006 @ 06:41 PM
So what exactly is killing a thread, is it just proving it wrong or is there an understood secret meaning to this.......

posted on Jun, 16 2006 @ 01:47 AM
Welcome Ragster.

I am Fritz..the NinjaKittyflea armed Orange and Ginger Marmalade tom cat and TKA Clubhouse Mascot...................I am also the sometime plaything of Duzey, the Very Special Green Dragon Lady.

Our Leader Zaphod - all
to His Benevolent Being - is our Leader. A more wiser, truer and generous Leader you have yet to meet.

We have many members and our deeds are Legendry. Simply put old boy, we kill threads.

Our superior intellect, our abundent knowledge coupled to our computer-like brains - not to mention our bad spelling will, once we have joined a thread, tend to kill it stone dead.

Whilst we do not seek fame and fortune or even recognition for our TKA abilities, some of us are world reknown for our uncanny - and some would even say supernatural ability to stop a thread in it's tracks.

Often these threads are bumbling along, minding their own business when, out of the darnkess, a TKA member strikes, and it is all over.

So that my friend, is what being a TKA member is all about.

Oh sorry, almost forgot. There are rules.

You must be able to provide, at the drop of a hat, endless rounds of 'glazed' ring doughnuts, extra mature cheddar cheese doughnuts or lasagne for me and gallons of 'Dew'.

You must also be willing and able to pooper-scoop the endless mountains of Pachyderm poo from both inside out outside the TKA Clubhouse.

The highly trained airborne blow-footballing pachyderms are Indian elephants that Duzey has taught to fly and Duzey and I are co owners.

Welcome to our clubhouse. Grad a crushed velvet cushion and take a seat BUT be careful. Duzey is snoozing under there somewhere.

posted on Jun, 16 2006 @ 01:51 AM
I hear ye loud and clear, thanks for the warm welcome, I must watch learn more yer ways of killing theses threads

posted on Jun, 16 2006 @ 02:39 AM

Originally posted by ragster
I hear ye loud and clear, thanks for the warm welcome, I must watch learn more yer ways of killing theses threads

It's so easy mate.

Just read a thread from the beginning, work out what your going to say, write it down then edit it if necessary, post it and Hey Presto! One Dead Thread.

Of course you must be aware that there are those who - even in these hallowed pages, who seek to reignite the debate.

Act swiftly and may your aim be true. Get in with a quick and witty retort and the thread should die a natural death.

One other thing to worry about. There are those of us - well known TKA'ers on all sites, who have the inborn ability to suicide thread.

Simply put, to start a new thread and kill it without even trying.

posted on Jun, 16 2006 @ 03:08 AM
I've personally witnissed a couple of ragsters suicide threads in action.

Been there, done that myself, on a couple of occasions.

posted on Jun, 16 2006 @ 05:07 PM
Ahhhh, I have a computer again! God I was starting to go through withdrawls. The twitching was setting in already. My uncle has McAffee on his laptop and it nuked it real good, so he had to take the one I'm borrowing back. Even the actual real technician kinda guys couldn't get that thing to uninstall. They had to give up.

posted on Jun, 16 2006 @ 05:10 PM
Welcome back, zaphod! Now we can get back to the...

posted on Jun, 16 2006 @ 06:09 PM

Hi there.

Hi everyone else!

I know I've been neglecting you, and I'm terribly sorry.

You can all :bash: me on the head. My only request is that it be one at a time.

posted on Jun, 16 2006 @ 06:36 PM
Since I'm the fearless leader of this organization it's only fair that I go first. :bash:

It's so nice to have a computer again. *sighs happily*

posted on Jun, 20 2006 @ 04:28 PM

Originally posted by Duzey

Hi there.

Hi everyone else!

I know I've been neglecting you, and I'm terribly sorry.

You can all :bash: me on the head. My only request is that it be one at a time.

I don't think so, young dragon Lady. No more sparkly things or tinned food for you.

Now Duzey, please be a dear and tell me all about Vegas and that little trip I asked you to make for me.

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