It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.


Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.


ThreadKillers Anonymous

page: 100
<< 97  98  99    101  102  103 >>

log in


posted on Apr, 9 2006 @ 02:40 AM

Originally posted by fritz
As I appear to be vetting all new members, welcome to our humble little club. Just a couple of more questions, and you should get your pass through the mail, sometime in the near future.

1. Are you or any member of your family - immediate or distant, ever been members of a Pirate community?

2. Have you or any member of your family - immediate or distant, taken part, willingly or otherwise, in piratical practices?

3. Have any of your family - immediate or distant, been taken prisoner and converted to, the piratical cause?

4. Have you, or any members of your family, immediate or distant, to the best of your knowledge, ever made any financial gain from piratical practices?

Should you be able to answer negatively to all the above questions, your membership of the TKA is virtually assured.

There is however, a very stiff entrance fee - 100 glazed doughnuts for all TKA members, chocolate or Extra Mature Cheddar Cheese doughnuts or 3 family sized Extra Mature Cheddar Cheese Lasagne for me.

You have to meet the membership requirements first.

Hey Chissler? Where's your dues at? We haven't gotten them from you, and you don't get your membership card until we get your dues.

posted on Apr, 9 2006 @ 03:44 AM

It's 1:45AM and I am officially dying of boredom. I can't sleep and there is nothing on TV.

I shouldn't have had that 5 hour nap earlier.

posted on Apr, 9 2006 @ 03:51 AM
I don't even CONSIDER sleeping at 1:45am. That's way too early for me to be in bed.

posted on Apr, 9 2006 @ 04:08 AM
Well it's 3 AM here, and I'm wide awake with nothing to do. I'm being forced to watch CC's Roast of Pamela Anderson.

posted on Apr, 9 2006 @ 04:09 AM
I'd rather shoot myself than watch Pamela Anderson.
That's one of the only things that would ever drive me to drink.

Hey btw, see the post on the entry requirements before you get too comfortable. We're very strict now after an earlier infiltration attempt.

[edit on 4/9/2006 by Zaphod58]

posted on Apr, 9 2006 @ 04:39 AM
President and Benevolent Dictator of ThreadKillers Anonymous.

I bring you warm and hearty greetings from the NinjaKittyflea Secret Spy Association (NKSA). [Not to be confused with the National Aeronautical Space Administration/Agency/Association (NASA)]

I shall now submit my report to your Greatness - peace and blessings, be upon you.

I have, for some time now, been engaged in a game of subtefuge with those dedicated to the piratical way of life. I have seen, at first hand, their warlike preparations and have to report that they show no sign of returning to the plough as a more meaningful way of life.

Their way of life seems to stem from an insidious, dark red liquid they call 'Grogg' or 'Grog'. Having imbibed this fiery liquid, the Pirates often fall on and do, unspeakable acts to each other. This liquid is, more often than not, the very elixir of a piratical life. Without it, I doubt whether the pirates can exist in peace with each other, let alone the rest of humankind.

Taking my life in my hands, I drank this liquid and indeed, it did make me feel good but Benevolent Leader, the effects were short lived and the resulting pain in my head was far more than a mere kittycat can endure.

I have taken steps to infect the Pirate Fleet with a plague of NinjaKittyflea Abolitionists who will sing psalms and hand out copies of The Watchtower whenever and wherever possible.

On a more personal level, should you decide to visit the other thread in the other place, you may well see that I have worked my usual magic.

posted on Apr, 9 2006 @ 04:41 AM
Excellent work Fritz. I'm always impressed with your abilities. I have commendations for the NKSA here as well. I have a reward of extra special aged cheese for you, and I'd like to reward the ninjafleas as well. What would you suggest as a good reward for them?

posted on Apr, 9 2006 @ 11:52 AM
*does the robot* whoop whoop whoop

posted on Apr, 9 2006 @ 12:18 PM
HELP!! I'm all alone in the clubhouse and have no experience fending off piratical attacks!!

posted on Apr, 9 2006 @ 12:44 PM
All alone? I don't think so.

Look behind you! What the
do you think they are, scotch mist?:shk:

No, my friend. How the
can you be alone with 4 musting bull blow-footballing elephants?

Any probs, just point them in the direction of the pirates.

Incidentially, those 'whooping' sounds you heard, was the half time whistles for the blow=football world cup final.

What's the score?

posted on Apr, 9 2006 @ 12:50 PM
Thanks fritz, I wasn't aware they were point-n-click pachyderms. I'll do better next time.


posted on Apr, 9 2006 @ 02:17 PM
Sorry old boy, but have I completely lost the plot? :shk:

Have you not yet stumbled into or against a massive pile of pachyderm poo?

Have the dung beatles not alerted you to the fact that they - the pachyderms, as you call them, are not virtual, point and click elephants? :shk:

posted on Apr, 9 2006 @ 02:25 PM
No, I simply didn't realize they were so easy to deploy. Point and click wasn't the best way I could have described it. More like point and shoot? I've simply been walking around them and their poo, not realizing they were highly effective defensive weapons.

Forgive me, Great and Fearless Leader, Zaphod58


[edit on 9-4-2006 by NotClever]

posted on Apr, 9 2006 @ 03:04 PM
You guys are all against us, one time, we sent you greetings, were like all chillin. Now, yee be all hatin. Well let me remind you when ZAPHOD your wonderful leader was allied with the pirates, and as i believe....he was a pirate.

posted on Apr, 9 2006 @ 03:19 PM
Ha ha!! You're doomed....I know how to use these things now...sic 'em boys!!!

posted on Apr, 9 2006 @ 03:22 PM
*dodges your elephants* *Uses men on ships with cannons to bombard the clubhouse and destroy the elephants*

I offered you peace

posted on Apr, 9 2006 @ 04:11 PM
Ha, 'fraidy cat pirates. Your miserable minions are giving you false information. The elephants and I are fine, having defeated your boats.

Uses men on ships with cannons to bombard the clubhouse

Foolish choice of projectiles. The men merely bounced off of the clubhouse walls.

Apparently peace is out of the question.

I cannot speak for The Great and Fearless Leader, but I am sure your un-provoked aggression will not go unanswered.


posted on Apr, 9 2006 @ 04:23 PM
We were willing to adopt a live and let live attitude with you pirates, but now we're going to let slip the elephants of war! You made this choice, so now you have to live with it.

posted on Apr, 9 2006 @ 04:34 PM
Told ya' neener neener neener!!

posted on Apr, 9 2006 @ 04:35 PM

Everybody complained when I wanted the elephants, but I told you they would come in handy someday!

The elephants have completed flight training. Just feed them burrito's and we have strategic bombing capabilities.

top topics

<< 97  98  99    101  102  103 >>

log in