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(MSFE) Tragedy

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posted on Sep, 17 2005 @ 11:51 AM
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Tragedy
by Alexandra Spears


Adam Freemont sat next to the hospital bed, his hands clutching the rail, his head resting on his hands. His thoughts went back and forth: one minute he was wondering if he'd somehow offended God; the next minute he reminded himself that trials were part of Christian life.

He raised his head. Why this trial?

In the bed lay his ten-year-old daughter Katherine. Little Katie had caught something very much like the flu...yet it wasn't the flu, and it was a lot worse. The child was so pale, the only color, it seemed, being her beautiful strawberry-blond hair. Her blue eyes were closed, and it was doubtful that she'd ever open them again.

Across the bed, Adam's wife Tina sat holding Katie's hand--the hand that didn't have the IV tube in it. Tina looked up at the monitor. "Adam, it's slowing down," she said in a hoarse whisper, tears coursing down her cheeks.

Katie's parents watched, transfixed, as the little blips slowed down and eventually became a flat line. A long beep sounded.

"I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Freemont, Katherine is gone," said the somber-faced doctor who had been standing there.

Adam and Tina got up, barely taking their eyes off their dead daughter. Tina was hunched over, her hands over her face, sobbing, her red hair hiding the sides of her face like curtains. Adam gently led her out of the ICU room. He had to be strong for her.

"Adam."

Adam looked up and saw his twin sister, Adora Hawkins, with the pastor of their church. "Adora...your niece is gone," he managed to croak.

Adora hugged her brother and sister-in-law. "Katie is in Heaven now, Adam," Adora said. "She's at peace."

"I know," Adam whispered.

"You have to forgive them, Adam, Tina," Pastor Worthington said quietly.

"I need to be alone for a few minutes," Adam murmured. "Keep Tina company, would you?"

"Of course," said Adora.

Adam walked down the hospital corridors and went outside. There was a bench to one side of the doors, and he sat on it and looked up.

A plane was flying in the sky, and what looked like smoke trailed behind it. There seemed to be a grid that was being formed, as if some skywriter was wanting to play tic-tac-toe. He wondered if the pilot up there knew about the tragedy he'd helped bring about--or if the pilot even cared.

[edit on 9/17/2005 by Amethyst]




posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 07:44 PM
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Welcome to the contest Amethyst. Looks like i'm going to have to write a few more entries to try and stay ahead of the talent thats coming aboard.

I wish you much luck in the eyes of the judges. They can be a finicky lot, and were not even sure who they are. (That probably keeps us from sucking up to them)


Love and light my dear,

Wupy



posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 07:49 PM
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Thanks.
I've been writing little stories on and off since I was in kindergarten. As long as I've been on ATS I only recently discovered the short story section.

If some characters' names look familiar, I named them after characters from shows I used to watch as a child--because I liked the names, for one thing. It's really hard to explain. But my stories here are not fan fiction.

I write as a hobby...not really interested in being published.



posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 07:56 PM
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I feel the same, i'm not interested in being published. I write because I have the need to write. If I don't my muses beat me until I sit down and get whatever it is they are telling me out on paper.

Writing is a beautiful curse. Those who do not carry it will never understand those who do.

I'm happy to have made your aquaintence and look forward to more of your writing.

Love and light,

Wupy



posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 08:09 PM
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Originally posted by mrwupy
I I write because I have the need to write. If I don't my muses beat me until I sit down and get whatever it is they are telling me out on paper.

Wupy


I don't think i could have said it better myself. That's exactly how I feel about writing.



posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 08:11 PM
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Originally posted by theghost88

Originally posted by mrwupy
I I write because I have the need to write. If I don't my muses beat me until I sit down and get whatever it is they are telling me out on paper.

Wupy


I don't think i could have said it better myself. That's exactly how I feel about writing.


LOL Me too. Sometimes a story comes to me and I can't get it out of my head until I write it down!

Sometimes I write "practice stories"--just random scenes more or less. Some actually evolve into an actual story.



posted on Sep, 27 2005 @ 06:31 PM
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Hi Amethyst,

Your story was wonderful and I really enjoyed reading it. I liked how your focus was on the loss of two parents, and thier stuggle for understanding. The loss of a child is a terrible thing to endure, much less understand. To realize, as Adam did, that his loss was caused by the conditions and state of his world is to invite bitterness into the heart. I liked how the pastor was observant enough to advise Adam to find forgiveness. I dont think that I would have been able to do that for a while. I also liked the end where Adam wondered if the pilot of the plane even cared about his contribution to tragedy. It is as if Adam remembers that long before Katie was sick, he didnt care either.

Great story Amethyst! Good luck to you.




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