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Talking to the wife about freemasonry

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posted on Sep, 17 2005 @ 01:36 AM
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I managed to bring the topic of joining freemasonry into conversation with my wife on a hypothetical level. She said "I don't know anything about the freemasons. I've only heard they are bad, but that's because whenever I've heard something about them, it's in a negative context."

Certainly, I would not join without her consent. Would anyone else out there know a good way to approach this? Pamphlets? Visits from the WM from the Lodge?

Thanks to anyone with advice




posted on Sep, 17 2005 @ 02:48 AM
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Originally posted by trinitrotoluene
I managed to bring the topic of joining freemasonry into conversation with my wife on a hypothetical level. She said "I don't know anything about the freemasons. I've only heard they are bad, but that's because whenever I've heard something about them, it's in a negative context."

Certainly, I would not join without her consent. Would anyone else out there know a good way to approach this? Pamphlets? Visits from the WM from the Lodge?

Thanks to anyone with advice


Take her to the lodge. Of course, you would probably want to have the WM's permission first, but l don't think it would be a problem. Just let the brethren know that you would like to bring your wife up to speed on the issue, and there should be no qualms. Of course, if you decide to petition, the investigation committee will come to your home and they will meet your wife anyway, and give her the opportunity to ask any questions she likes. They will not admit you if your wife has an issue with you joining.

I might also suggest that you direct her to some of the reading you have done that made you decide you want to join. There are plenty of Masonic sites out there with FAQ's and whatnot, just have her read the information for herself. If she still feels apprehensive, tell the WM or your proposer that your wife wants to know more before you can make a decision. I'm sure they will be happy to oblige.

Hope this helps.

[edit on 9/17/05 by The Axeman]



posted on Sep, 17 2005 @ 10:00 AM
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In the culture of most Lodges I've spent time with it is unlikely a married man would be encouraged to join without the support of his wife anyway, so the motivation for her to know more and her approval are both good hoops to jump through.

In general your wife ought to be present if and when a Committee comes to visit you at home.

*refrains from commenting too much about how well my wife knows the test questions of the first degree after her irregular initiation ceremony*



posted on Sep, 17 2005 @ 10:53 AM
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I agree with the above. A website is a very good way to help someone understand the basis of Freemasons. I am sure your Grand Lodge would have loads of info. Here is a link to my local GL which has a FAQ and a 100 questions that covers alot. Also wikipedia.org/freemasons should have a honest overview on the subject.



posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 12:26 AM
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I hope your wife lets you join.

Other tactics that can be helpful (these are serious and should only be used if necessary...#4 is for comic relief):

1. Coercive pursuasion
2. Systematic thought reform procedures
3. Transient vulnerability and/or dislocation techniques
4. Just explain that you'll be discovering ancient and mystical mysteries that you won't be able to talk to her about. Even though that shouldn't conflict with your wedding vows or unique ideas regarding the necessary components of trust, any measure of mystery, no matter how small, usually spices up the old bedroom activities.



[edit on 18-9-2005 by 2nd Hand Thoughts]



posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 12:59 AM
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Originally posted by trinitrotoluene
I managed to bring the topic of joining freemasonry into conversation with my wife on a hypothetical level. She said "I don't know anything about the freemasons. I've only heard they are bad, but that's because whenever I've heard something about them, it's in a negative context."

Certainly, I would not join without her consent. Would anyone else out there know a good way to approach this? Pamphlets? Visits from the WM from the Lodge?

Thanks to anyone with advice

My advice is that you should be honest, be upright. If she asks a question answer it. If she wishes to be involved, encourage her; she will be your stongest pillar. Don't exclude her; Masonry may be a fraternity, but her support and understanding are critical.

Once you've joined; always remember any duty to the lodge is second to your family.



posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 01:08 AM
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Originally posted by 2nd Hand Thoughts
I hope your wife lets you join.

Other tactics that can be helpful (these are serious and should only be used if necessary...#4 is for comic relief):

1. Coercive pursuasion
2. Systematic thought reform procedures
3. Transient vulnerability and/or dislocation techniques
4. Just explain that you'll be discovering ancient and mystical mysteries that you won't be able to talk to her about. Even though that shouldn't conflict with your wedding vows or unique ideas regarding the necessary components of trust, any measure of mystery, no matter how small, usually spices up the old bedroom activities.


Wow, that added to the conversation, lets see what was mentioned later:


Originally posted by AngelWitch
My advice is that you should be honest, be upright. If she asks a question answer it. If she wishes to be involved, encourage her; she will be your stongest pillar. Don't exclude her; Masonry may be a fraternity, but her support and understanding are critical.

Once you've joined; always remember any duty to the lodge is second to your family.


As I have read things here, also 2nd to your faith, responsibility to the law, etc.

Which seems more plausable to the reader? Not hard to tell imo.

BTW, I'm NOT a Mason. Just one that reads.



posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 01:14 AM
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Originally posted by intrepid
As I have read things here, also 2nd to your faith, responsibility to the law, etc.
....Which seems more plausable to the reader? Not hard to tell imo.


You sir, have caught the correct.

[edit on 18-9-2005 by AngelWitch]



posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 01:15 AM
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if you want to be a mason, your wife has nothing to do with your decision. If she agrees, all the better. But if she doesnt, it should not prevent you from joining. Anyhow, your wife should support you in your choices, wheter she likes it or not.

Alternative : have her join the eastern star.



posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 01:17 AM
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Originally posted by moonchild
if you want to be a mason, your wife has nothing to do with your decision. If she agrees, all the better. But if she doesnt, it should not prevent you from joining. Anyhow, your wife should support you in your choices, wheter she likes it or not.

Alternative : have her join the eastern star.


You couldn't be more wrong.



posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 01:23 AM
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Originally posted by moonchild
if you want to be a mason, your wife has nothing to do with your decision. If she agrees, all the better. But if she doesnt, it should not prevent you from joining. Anyhow, your wife should support you in your choices, wheter she likes it or not.

Alternative : have her join the eastern star.


Not from what I've read here. If a wife is against it, you'll have to get another wife.



posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 01:43 AM
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Originally posted by intrepid

Originally posted by 2nd Hand Thoughts
I hope your wife lets you join.

Other tactics that can be helpful (these are serious and should only be used if necessary...#4 is for comic relief):

1. Coercive pursuasion
2. Systematic thought reform procedures
3. Transient vulnerability and/or dislocation techniques
4. Just explain that you'll be discovering ancient and mystical mysteries that you won't be able to talk to her about. Even though that shouldn't conflict with your wedding vows or unique ideas regarding the necessary components of trust, any measure of mystery, no matter how small, usually spices up the old bedroom activities.


Wow, that added to the conversation, [....]


Quoting my whole post with a short line of sarcasm doesn't really add that much either.

I'll take this opportunity to emphasize #2. It's quite important if you think about it.

No one has posted any actual first-hand experience with talking to a wife about freemasonry. Answers have basically pointed at well-known sources of propaganda.

The original post basically said, My wife has heard negative things, how can I set her straight.

--- Of course, negative things can't POSSIBLY be true can they?


"It comes after family, religion, the law, etc." Not really very specific. Should apply to just about everything in a marriage really.

"Honey, what's on your mind?"
"Oh, something that comes after family, religion, the law, etc."

Can't she just do her own research and figure it out for herself? Perhaps she might find something interesting on her own and also beneficial to you as well?




[edit on 18-9-2005 by 2nd Hand Thoughts]



posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 01:51 AM
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Originally posted by 2nd Hand Thoughts
Quoting my whole post with a short line of sarcasm doesn't really add that much either.

I'll take this opportunity to emphasize #2. It's quite important if you think about it.

No one has posted any actual first-hand experience with talking to a wife about freemasonry. Answers have either pointed at well-known sources of propaganda.

The original post basically said, My wife has heard negative things, how can I set her straight. Of course, negative things can't POSSIBLY be true can they?


"It comes after family, religion, the law, etc." Not really very specific. Should apply to just about everything in a marriage really.


Point 1, where was there sarcasm? I just read this stuff man, I'm not a conspiracy theorist. I trust my eyes. Don't expand beyond my preceptions.

Point 2, Well yes. What's your point?



posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 02:03 AM
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I had a similar dilema 6yrs. or 7 yrs. back while I was still married. I brought the subject up and had an application in my possesion and I discussed my thoughts and feelings about the subject with my wife. She was very likewarm about it and I decided at that time to let it go and concentrate on family and work. The desire to learn more did not entirely go away and I have been able to pursue my desire to join, which I did just recently.
I no longer have the wife and have also lost a couple of stepsons in the deal, but after things settled down I decided to join if I was to be accepted. I regret losing the marriage, but I do not regret putting my family first those few years ago, because I was able to participate and be a real father, all-be-it, not as long as I would have liked. Do not try to coerce or manipulate your wife, she is your mate. You may have to wait as I did. It will be worth it.
I would recommend that you never put anything before your God or your family, even Masonry.



posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 02:06 AM
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Originally posted by 2nd Hand Thoughts
No one has posted any actual first-hand experience with talking to a wife about freemasonry. Answers have basically pointed at well-known sources of propaganda.
[edit on 18-9-2005 by 2nd Hand Thoughts]


Okay, Here's mine. My interest was first piqued after a poorly done "expose" on the History channel and I started to research on my own. Eventually I came to the conclusion that any man of worth should consider it (that's not to say that every man of worth should join). I then asked my wife what she thought of my decision, and what her thoughts were. She had some reservation, but after some thought and information(not from me or any other Brother) she gave her full support. Later we discovered that her grand father was a Mason and her grand mother has given her blessing, support and praise. I have also found that my great grand father was a Mason(I didn't know this prior) and my grandmother is my biggest supporter.



posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 02:13 AM
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Guess there goes point #2



posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 02:19 AM
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Originally posted by intrepid

Point 1, where was there sarcasm? I just read this stuff man, I'm not a conspiracy theorist. I trust my eyes. Don't expand beyond my preceptions.

Point 2, Well yes. What's your point?


1. Intrepid wrote, "Wow, that added to the conversation,"

Guess I jumped to conclusions. I mean, if you weren't being sarcastic (and there's nothing wrong with that) and you really were saying that you felt my post DID add to the conversation in your opinion, then why post the whole thing without actually commenting on what you felt added or didn't.

"Wow, that added to the conversation, let's see what was mentioned later."

SO, I think it was reasonable of me to take this as a dismissal and if it wasn't then it isn't realy a big deal.

Regarding my #2. Any group that requires membership before entering into a tiered system of information and explanation in addition to an oath of secrecy performed in front of an altar sets a very real precedent and POSSIBILITY of very real incremental application of methods of thought reform.

Ojectively speaking, how can any member of a group be objective to concerns that could quite possibly be pre-judged by a member, particularly one that is high-ranking, as anti-[insert group name]?

Regarding your #2. What does the "after family, religion, the law, etc." have to do with convincing a wife that freemasonry is ok for the relationship? What does it mean? "after family"? I'd think real-world implementations of the statement would be useful in this discussion.

For instance, What if after a couple years' investment into freemasonry, a wife asks her husband to quit? What if her vacation time falls on a rite of passage? Does the family reschedule vacation plans?

I just find the statement about family, religion, etc. unnecessary. No one is supposed to be trumping that sort of stuff anyway. I don't see how it would dispell a true and valid concern from a spouse.

[SPELLING EDIT]

[edit on 18-9-2005 by 2nd Hand Thoughts]



posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 02:54 AM
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Originally posted by 2nd Hand Thoughts
Regarding my #2. Any group that requires membership before entering into a tiered system of information and explanation in addition to an oath of secrecy performed in front of an altar sets a very real precedent and POSSIBILITY of very real incremental application of methods of thought reform.

For starters, every mason is encouraged to think for himself. Secondly, I knew the rituals before taking them. Possibility does not prove reality.


Originally posted by 2nd Hand Thoughts
Ojectively speaking, how can any member of a group be objective to concerns that could quite possibly be pre-judged by a member, particularly one that is high-ranking, as anti-[insert group name]?

Okay...this proves what?



Originally posted by 2nd Hand Thoughts
Regarding your #2. What does the "after family, religion, the law, etc." have to do with convincing a wife that freemasonry is ok for the relationship? What does it mean? "after family"? I'd think real-world implementations of the statement would be useful in this discussion.

Not a problem. "After family, vocation, etc.." means just that. Masonry should NEVER interfere with life at home, work, or spiritually. I am currently the Junior Warden of my lodge; therefore I the "social director" for this year.
My duty to my family comes before anything for the lodge, my duty to god is before my duty to the lodge....If you progress through the logic, my duty to the lodge is secondary to all other matters.



Originally posted by 2nd Hand Thoughts
For instance, What if after a couple years' investment into freemasonry, a wife asks her husband to quit? What if her vacation time falls on a rite of passage? Does the family reschedule vacation plans?

This is all upto the individual family, though it is not uncommon for the lodge to change its plan to accomodate the brother.



Originally posted by 2nd Hand Thoughts
I just find the statement about family, religion, etc. unnecessary. No one is supposed to be trumping that sort of stuff anyway. I don't see how it would dispell a true and valid concern from a spouse.

Well that's easy. If the wife has a valid concern, then a man should NOT join.
If it's based on misinformation, then she should be given the resources to discover the truth.

[Spelling edit]

[edit on 18-9-2005 by AngelWitch]



posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 03:09 AM
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Originally posted by AngelWitch


Originally posted by 2nd Hand Thoughts
Ojectively speaking, how can any member of a group be objective to concerns that could quite possibly be pre-judged by a member, particularly one that is high-ranking, as anti-[insert group name]?

Okay...this proves what?



It wasn't posted as a proof.

What I mean is simply this: that having a freemason answer questions that a spouse might have could possibly present answers that are less than entirely objective. Especially if the freemason is high-ranking specifically because the time and effort invested in the fraternity naturally increases with the completion of requirements necessary for such advancements in rank.



posted on Sep, 18 2005 @ 03:24 AM
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Originally posted by 2nd Hand Thoughts
What I mean is simply this: that having a freemason answer questions that a spouse might have could possibly present answers that are less than entirely objective. Especially if the freemason is high-ranking specifically because the time and effort invested in the fraternity naturally increases with the completion of requirements necessary for such advancements in rank.


So have the spouse do the research for herself, I believe i mentioned that above. The remainder the above post is fallacy.



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