A little anecdote.
When I was younger I'd often end up looking after my brother's eldest two sons on the weekend (good old Aunty Tinkles. Videos, pizza, late
bedtimes. You get the picture
). When this particular event took place, I was but a wee thing of 21 myself...my nephews were 9 and 12
(I'm going to change their names to protect innocen...embarassment. Teehee)
9 year old = Joe
12 year old = Jason
So, Jason is upstairs, watching a video. Joe's downstairs with me, making dinner. He was a good kid that way (till puberty kicked in. I
Here's the conversation:
Joe: Tinkles, can I ask you sumfin?
Me: 'Course you can
Joe: How do babies get made?
Me: ?! Has your Mum not told you this son?
(cue Jason eavesdropping)
at this point I run off to phone his Mum, to ask her why she hasn't told him anything...she actually says, "would YOU mind telling him? I'm
embarassed..". I agree. Foolish Tinkles
Back in the kitchen. Cue Jason snickering to himself, now finding the conversation infinitely more entertaining than ET, and trying to offer his own
brand of commentary. Think "Sigourney Weaver-style alien baby exits from pregnant lady's stomach".
Me: Well...what do you know so far?
Joe: Well I know that the man uses his willy....but I'm just not sure how the egg thing works
Me: ?!?! Oh. Right. Hmmm.
knowing that both boys were infinitely more "visual" than "logical", I had to think fast
Me: Do you know about periods?
Joe: Not really....that's the egg isn't it?
Me: Yes, it is. So...the man's sperm swims up into the lady's womb - you know the womb? Good. So, that's where the egg and the sperm
Joe interrupting, somewhat horrified: But...eggs...are really big.....
Me: No no no honey...a woman's eggs are really, really teeny. And sperm are really really teeny.
Joe (relieved): Wow.....
Me: Alright. Every month, the woman's body makes one of these teeny eggs.
Joe: Is the womb where the blood is?
Me: Sort of...see if a baby is going to grow, it needs a nice soft cushion to live with, you know?
Me: So every month, the womb builds up a sort of little cushiony wall, and it needs blood to nourish it in case a baby is going to grow...okay?
Joe: So the baby can't grow if there's no wall?
Joe: looking at the eggs in the carton
I grab an egg, and crack it into the closest measuring cup
Me: If the woman and the man make love, at the right time, the sperm might meet the egg, and if that happens, the baby is made.
Joe: Oooooooooooooooh...I get it! But what happens if the sperm isn't there?
I grab a fork, whisk the egg to heck and pour it down the sink
Me: The woman's body basically gets rid of it, like this, and that's her period.
Joe: who makes a connection here that I'd never had made myself in a zillion years
Ooooooh so the wall has to go away too, doesn't it? So
the period is the egg and the cushy wall falling away?
Me: That's exactly right.
Jason, from the stairs, trying to speak during bouts of hysterical pre-teen laughter, "Take and egg and whisk it, grab the bum and frisk
Joe: So how do you use a tampon?
And at this point, I handed him the package insert.
He came back with questions.
Moral of the story: Eggs can be used for more than just cooking...
Edit: I'm so sorry - I didn't actually answer the question. I'd go with "straight to the point, but use educational aids if you need
[edit on 14-9-2005 by Tinkleflower]