Okay, I just wanted a place to post some of my poetry, It's not that many poems and I'm not sure if they're any good, but anyway. I hoping to get some oppinions. I'm hoping to get them all up by sometime tomorrow but below is the one I'll post for now and from there I'll determine if I should continue posting the rest. To any who decide to read these thanks for taking the time to but please be honest about them.

(P.S. reason why I'm not posting them all now is because it is 3 am)

Love Eternal

Days come, Days go
“lovers” come, “lovers” go
Weeks pass, months fly by
Leaders rise, years fly by
Gods invite people to a ball
In which most will fall

To fall, to fall
Gods rise and gods fall
Love eternal
Evens the score

Love is deep, Love is true
A love nobody can see through
For days come and days go
Gods rise and gods fall
True love is worth any fall,
For the only way to find such love
Is to fall

[edit on 9-9-2005 by Killer 5]

Great work!

I enjoyed reading that, I really look foward to what else you have to offer,

You've got the spark, killer5...

what I really enjoyed is the repetition of dualities like:
"Days come, Days go" and "Gods rise and gods fall"

thats what gives it an almost ritual litany...I like that in poetry.

Criticism...

this poem could be stronger in some ways..ie
instead of "A love nobody can see through" try 'Love no-one can see through'.

The reason I say this is that when I read poetry, I say it out loud instead of just reading it. By doing that, lines which are awkward on the tongue are found out. A small change here and there, and the words fall out of the mouth like honey.

Not that honey is what you always want...depends on the message...but in this poem I think you were looking for something that 'flowed', right?

Please post more...I'd love to see them.

Thanks I appreciate the honest oppinions so far.

A world full of fears
attacking those which I hold dear
To change this stage
so that nothing will ever engage
triggering that undying rage
that furnace that is under that huge stage

What to do?
oh! what to do?

To take their fears
to give them none
to give them the hope
that was mine
to prevent them from any crime

To change space and time
will be my ultimate crime
To save them from their fear
all that I hold dear

No price too high
no person too low
powers that have come
and powers that have gone

shall bow before he who protects those he holds dear,
for he is the seer
who protects all that he holds dear

So those who cause fear
shall learn to fear
the full power of the seer
shall appear

So all those who dare attack that which he holds dear
prepare for a new meaning of fear!




This was one of my first poems, don't really know why I didn't start posting them in order in the first place. Anyway that first poem i posted was my third one in reality. From now on they will be in chronological order.

[edit on 10-9-2005 by Killer 5]

To die
To live
To show the world peace,
The only true peace,
to be at peace

The peace that love brings
The peace that hate takes
All that is good
and all that is sad

but, once upon a glorious day
Shall all be glad
and none sad

For upon that day
Love so sad
Love so glad
shall reign supreme
and no more shall any be sad
for upon that day, all shall feel love,
hate forgotten

The gates of love open for all
The world invited to that glorious ball
from the Spring unto to the fall

[edit on 10-9-2005 by Killer 5]

Love so old
Love so bold
Love many oceans old
Love forever untold

In a world of diamonds and gold
Jewry is sold and sold
For one’s precious gold

Forgotten is what once was true
To all those but a select few
Those who notice the morning due
Those who’s numbers are so few

They are those who find more than gold
They are the one’s whose hearts are never sold

True love so old
More valuable than any amount of gold
So if I may be so bold
And speak of the untold
Who shall scold
The one who speaks of the true love untold

Fiery wrath
Emotions burn
Watching my world turn and turn

Flames consuming, BURN! BURN!
Turn the worlds to ash
Faces, people into mash

Death and destruction
Mayhem to all
Bringing about the fall

Power consumed
Sacrifice supreme
Death to those who tore at my seam

Hatred, destruction;
Yet everlasting hope.
For in the core
are my white flames of hope

Small flames
Within a glowing rage
Bring back the poor old sage
Battles calmed
Emotions cool
Sitting down on a stool;
Slowly watch the little flames cool

Away and away they go
Dragging away ever so slow
And so sets the final blow
Never again shall they glow.

My hopes, my dreams
And many other wondrous things
Sing and swing
to the glory of spring

Through the days of May
During the fall
Do I welcome thee unto the ball,
During that ball will you fall

Yet you needn’t say a thing more
For the fall
Is by far better than any such ball

So I say unto all
Forget about my ball

For on the wings on a thousand loves
Shall you flare

So take the fall
And create your own ball
And show all
The joy and happiness that true love sings

A life hidden in disguise
Hidden under troubled skies
Behind masks of glass
Believed to be worth less than flies

Some claim the ultimate disguise
The mask of normality, what a prize
Clinging onto what they think is sanity
Always fearing the approach of insanity

So most guise themselves in normality
But why fear insanity?
For we live in a world of insanity
No-one truly posses normality
For in truth we live in a world of insanity

I am insane
Most “sane” see me as the wolf’s bane
All claim to be sane
Yet none is sane
Only varying degrees of insane.

So see me how you will
Wolf’s bane
Insane
But most definitely not sane

In a world of dreams,
Haunting by many screams,
So it Demeans
All of life, or so it seems

Unto the beams
Ripping at my seams
Life so great
Death it’s only fate

So unto hell’s gate
Are all those not a saint
So to live
One must be dead

No life except in a homestead
Living forbidden
Death a penalty

All those that defy him,
All those that don’t bow before him
Are cast unto a mass grave
Forgotten by all
Burning unto the floor

So how can people say
That we are free,
Trapped
Our fate chosen
Serve or die
I’d rather fry

Eyes of gold
beauty that never grows old
caused me to become so bold
and my heart was sold

to her with eye's of gold
beauty that never grows old

unto u do I belong,
for one touch do I long
no distance too great
can stop our fate

for unto you
am I like paper to glue
stuck for eternity,
permanently
with you

and so I write this to say,
Yay! I’d have it no other way
So I'd like you to know
that no matter how life flows or goes
I'll always be yours
even if we are on different shores

for unto you does my heart belong
singing always unto your most wondrous song
forever yours,
never fleeing through open doors
for my heart is forever yours

An end to all,
beginning anew.
How could anyone have knew?

Snows fall,
blistering heat;
so many people beat

So take a seat
and prepare to dance, to death’s beat
and upon that day when you shall meet
leave your seat and dance to death’s beat

So welcome to all
take my seat.
I’ll watch you all dance to death’s beat
while all I say is “Mary meet.
Welcome, take my seat.
I don’t dance to that beat

To be sad,
while all else is glad;
only to see all are truly mad
and such am I sad

Then upon a day
did I see
that which gave me a reason to be
and so I became glad
Never again sad

so with all was I glad
some might see me as mad
but no longer am I sad

So join all of us that are mad
and be once and for all, glad

Well that's most of my work for now. I'll post more at a later date when i find the rest. unfourtunately I have no idea what ever happened to untitled 2 but I don't change my poems much once they are written. So should I find that one I'll post it. Anyway, can't wait to hear opinions, whether good or bad.

eyes so green,
beauty supreme
surround by the wings
of the angel that sings.

Surrounded by the light
wow, so very bright,
yet still such a beautiful sight.
A sight able to halt any such fight,
enough to give others the ability to take flight.

Then with all the might
and beauty
of an angel with no wings,
the angel that fell,
the angel that sings
and the joy that such brings
to all living things

So I saw the angel with no wings
and the beauty and joy she brings

That which I search for
is within my grasp,
yet always I hide behind such a mask.
All that searching,
yet all I had to do was ask.

Knowledge and power now beyond my grasp
as long as I wear my mask,
but to remove the mask
is such a daughning task

So instead I will raise another flask
and continue wearing the mask.
How I wish some would see
right through the mask and straight onto me

If only that was someone's task,
maybe then I'd lose the mask
and the past
will go away like ale in the flask.

Believed to be a traitor
yet I am not.
Believed to be satan
for I say all truths are true.

only the very forces of nature
care,
yet not even they dare
to stare,
why do they care?

The god's risen
and the devil's fallen
and where am I but in their glare.

My business to be done,
charged to guard the prodigal son.
Unto the day he comes to bear,
the amulet belonging to the god of the sun.

Blessed be those who know,
they are those who enjoy a show.
but then soon all shall know, sooner than the next snow,
but in truth are they ready to know
or should we all rather go
leaving them as a no show.

I write poems
of places most unknown.
So many questions,
a million unknown

The questions all but one seek.
They try and try to sneak a peak,
sneak and sneak
as they might,
the answer beyond their sight,
and so they go
always wanting to know,

But, the answers they seek,
they already can speak,
for unto them are all things known.

So until that day
they shall seek those that known
their unknowns,
Hoping to make
the unknowns
known
by putting everything at stake.

oh, if only they knew
truth is as sly as a snake.