Ah need good wiccan cooking recipies fur the refugees

Misfit, don't be such a clown. Everyone knows us Christians are served with RC Colas and pork rinds. Unless you having to drop a few pounds, then Diet Rite Cola is acceptable. Not a whole lot of pairing problems there.

Originally posted by Thomas Crowne
Misfit, don't be such a clown. Everyone knows us Christians are served with RC Colas and pork rinds. Unless you having to drop a few pounds, then Diet Rite Cola is acceptable. Not a whole lot of pairing problems there.

Does this mean Roast Christian is Atkins-friendly?!

Woot!

Pork rinds & Christians = low carby goodness

Oh, absolutely! Even the Romans knew that! Back then, there were so many of us that even the lions were placed on the diet. Very healthy for all concerned.
Now, the Jews, on the other hand, they are even healthier to eat, considering their kosher diet and all.

I wonder if jews taste like pork ......

Originally posted by Thomas Crowne
Now, the Jews, on the other hand, they are even healthier to eat, considering their kosher diet and all.

[edit on 6-9-2005 by Netchicken]

I thought we all tasted like chicken?



Unless the adage is true.

And you really are what you eat.

Which would make me...

Yanno, I'm so not going there.

Nope.

Along with the voluminous inquires as to proper wine pairings with Wiccan dishes, I've also received more than a few questions from our more astute and discriminating epicureans regarding appetizers. Yes, the familiar of a Wiccan is most appropriate as an appetizer! The blend of flavors is enhanced by the bond they share... To separate the two would be downright... Unchristian.

I know what you all are thinking, feline lettuce wraps are just the thing to bring down the wrath of PETA... No matter, just think of the public service opportunities that will present.

Fine Dining Monkeys, not just for being the main course anymore…


[edit on 6/9/2005 by Mirthful Me]

So....our menu goes something like this?

Kitty Canapes
Fricaseed Feline

And

Wiccan-in-a-Wok?

(let me go grab my 5-spice powder)

(who's doing the deboning, incidentally? I'm pretty sure I didn't sign up for it...)

Of course! The appetizers!
What about Eye of Newt and Tongue of Frog salads?

[edit on 6-9-2005 by Netchicken]

For only the most discerning...has the bonus of using the same Wiccan over and over

3 pounds of honey
2 egg whites
1 ounce of yeast
1 Wiccan
1 gallon of water

Grate about 1/4 ounce from the (cleaned) backside of a Wiccan and send him/her on her way back to the cotton fields sucking on a good sized clove of garlic.

Place the gratings in a large saucepan with the honey and the water.
Beat the eggs until frothy and add to the pan.
Stir and heat to a boil, then simmer gently for 1 hour.
Pour into a large bowl and let it cool a bit, then stir in yeast.
Cover and leave for 3 days, stirring daily.
Pour into bottles and cork loosely until fermentation ceases.
Store in a cool dark place.

Should be ready after a year, so repeat recipe daily (or as long as the butt lasts).

Has a peculiar essence which is akin to absinthe. (could be the wormwood which all Wiccans love)

Great for sipping whilst noshing on 'familiar' pates and crackers or just plain getting sloshed.

Hmmf! You can't have my kitty for your appetizers. He's cute, and he's kinda old but very sweet.

Besides, the hairballs would kill ya.

And you can't possibly toast me because I have a +327 Cloak Of Getting Away and a magic want that conjures Perpetual Hairballs on anyone annoying da heck out of mah dear lil' Wiccan self.

...and why isn't this in BTS, eh?

Sometimes in life the ability to laugh at oneself and find humour is a precious asset, long forgotten but equally important to taking things seriously. Soul Shines

Monsters inc was a good moral lesson in laughter and the value in it.

Now has anyone seen those batwings for the soup... I caught a plump skyclad wiccan last night and my kids are hungry as usual...

BTW roasted wiccan tongues served on a bed of rice makes a wonderful appetizer, shuts them up while the fattening process takes place too, so you don't have to listen to those ghastly chants.

[edit on 6-9-2005 by Mayet]

Originally posted by Byrd

Besides, the hairballs would kill ya.

That's why people shave their...kitties. First. Before eating. Ok, shutting up.

And you can't possibly toast me because I have a +327 Cloak Of Getting Away and a magic want that conjures Perpetual Hairballs on anyone annoying da heck out of mah dear lil' Wiccan self.

Well...poo. Not even Sid the Sphynx's +120 dex roll would counter that darn cloak.

Spose we'll have to make do with furrball fricasee.

(I don't know why this isn't in BTS either. Then again, I'm just a peon with nothing better to do than sit here all day )

Once again, I have been besieged with inquiries regarding a very serious matter. Many have wondered about the proper "doneness' of Wiccan. It's a question that has plagued mankind since the Inquisition. Sure, the old adage was burn them at the stake, but was that satisfying? No. Nothing is worse than an overcooked Wiccan, but the peril of contamination awaits those that eschew bringing the center of your cuts up to proper temperature (160º F). The danger of eating undercooked or raw Wiccan cannot be overstated. Don't do it! Care taken during preparation can result in a moist, tasty Wiccan dish without the possibility of a late night run to he ER to get one’s stomach pumped.

Originally posted by Byrd
...and why isn't this in BTS, eh?

An excellent question, I'll defer to his "Yard Birdness" on this one.

Iron Chef Monkeys, not just for 60 minutes of poo flinging anymore...

I thought it was "burned like a steak"?

Huh.

Spose those "Burning Times" weren't all about the really shameful part in our barbequeueue....u..e..sod it, "roasting" history either, right?

So..there's no recipes for Sabbat Sushi either then?

No Skyclad Sashimi?

No Threefold Tartare?

please don't kill me. I *was* Wiccan, for over 8 years, and it was a wonderful time.

I would say the proper cooking for Wiccan depends largely on taste. Some like their Wiccan rare and some like their Wiccans quite crispy. Overall I would say the best way to test for doneness is to wiggle the leg of said Wiccan around until it feels 'right'. Make sure when cooking to baste frequently with own juices (the Wiccans not yours) and if any doubt over readiness, a cooking thermometer inserted in the apprpriate area should do the trick.

One more tip for tender Wiccan - marinate overnight with cooking sherry.

Enjoy!

Why is this not in BTS, Byrd?

Obviously, because we have lost our little collective minds and are waiting for an adult to take control of the situation.

I beg you, Ma'am, take control, for we are all overworked and stupidly giddy with fatigue!

Wiccan recipes are overrated in my opinion as witches are biter and don’t accept the flavor of the other ingredients because even their meat is too self absorbed.

HOLY CRAP!
I can't believe you said that!
When Byrd sees this post, you are definitely going to be needing a lilly pad!

Oh boy.....I forgot about Byrd. I’m definitely going down........

Originally posted by kinglizard
Wiccan recipes are overrated in my opinion as witches are biter and don’t accept the flavor of the other ingredients because even their meat is too self absorbed.

I hope that you meant "bitter" (though after dating more than my share of Wiccans, "biter" is quite accurate, but should be saved for a thread of a different color), though my experience with this delicacy has been that it’s quite delicious. To each his own, if the gamey flesh of our pagan morsels is not to your taste, so be it…

Heart Monkeys, not just for getting to through my stomach anymore…