Self improvement for people at the bottom?, page 1

Hmmmmmmmm!!!! This is getting to be embarrassing. I am often finding myself agreeing with Duzey as she is not posting the standard M1A stamped out solutions from the sorry genre of magazine quiz remedys that tend to pass as the solutions to so many relationship problems. She actually shows good sense.

I totally agree with Duzey. Intelligence , confidence, and a sense of humor.

Cyberdude, I surmise that you are very young and in a high glandular period in your life where gland activity and the call of the wild exceed your ability to deal with it to your satisfaction. No problem. What you are lacking in is certain social skills that you percieve are marketable in a high competition social structure.

Remember something Cyberdude and this is a difficult one to think through in a "instant gratification " marketplace..especially among young people.
Womenhood often at that age ..is purchased across the counter by buying more goods in a squeeze tube or a spray can. Even among many older women who should know better ..improved appearences and by this method increased purchasing power in the marketplaces due to physical attraction is what passes for womanhood among many. All of them no ..but among a great many ..yes...enough to create a huge market of goods and services for this kind of end product. This is not womanhood or even femaleness. It is the appearence of womanhood or femaleness. A very different thing.
It is the same for what passes for manhood today. Shallow consumption levels. The appearence of manhood ..not real manhood.

What I am telling you Cyberdude is to think whether or not this game is even worth playing on this type of playing field. At least on these terms.

You are at a point where you are liable to spend alot of time trying out for the approval and attention of women. If you are not careful they will show you contempt in your trying out efforts. Use you and go on to what they think are the prettys. It is standard practice among many women who define themselves by what they think they deserve ..entitlements. This is a formula for" Male Disposibility." not male success. Do not make yourself "disposable" for air headed women whos main forte in life is their entertainment and social entitlements. Especially young women who are still in school..they seldome function outside this entertainment social arena.

I agree with Duzey ...confidence , intelligence , and a sense of humor. Confidence is the big one..often tempered to confidence by intelligence...ie ..experience. You do not get this as a man by buying this or that product to make one appear to be more than one often is.

Though you come across by your postings to be very young...if you are at all the cerebral type...I recommend two books for you ..

Warren Farrell

Why men are the way they are.
The myth of male power.

Warren writes many books along this line of thinking but I recommend these two for starters. You can look them up on the web.

Cyberdude ...being a man in this world is seldome a buisness of instant satisfaction/gratification. It is often one of very great postponed gratification. What many women have learned by slick marketing is that they can have it both ways. By a career if they work or by marriage if it does not work out...a safety net to fall into so one never has to hit the concrete if one falls. These are not choices offered to men via a womans carreer earnings ..they are by and large not that noble.
What you are witnessing in your highschool or college is a training ground among women to take advantage of these options. Dating the sports jocks is training ground to acquire the best performers/lookers/survivability options just in case a career doesnt work out. Rember Cyberdude...what social status means to a woman...in the view of the other women. Many of them dont necessarily outgrow this view just because they get older.
Cyberdude...how many women do you know who dream about boredom,uglyness, and that they are the most important part of this phenomonon. Or do they dream about beauty and beautiful things and that they are surrounded by these ..at the very center of this beauty phenomonon!!!??? This is a very important clue to the value system in play here. This is called in part and parcel...the "Cinderella Complex."
Many women/girls never grow out of this deeply held religious belief system. It is a religion among many.
This is part and parcel of what Warren Farrell teachs you about your thinking if you can get past the "Oil Shortage "mentality dominating and blindsiding most of what passes for manhood today.

Cyberdude...at any age..do not ever delude yourself to thinking that women do not hunt or gather. You know the primordal "Hunter Gatherer."
The popular myth is that this is a male trait. It is not..at all. Just because women do not appear to be hunting in the manner of the traditional male..does not mean she is not hunting and gathering. This is very important for your survival especially as you get older.

Cyberdude...do not concern yourself with the competition from the jocks on the field. The facts are that twenty years from now ..no one will remember thier names...most of the women too.
Your main task is to insure your survivability for the future not necessarily your social life. Imporperly handled your social life can doom you. Work on your earning potential/education/thinking skills. Insure your survivability and you will have female hunter gatherers beating a path to your door. You will actually get tired of them after a while. Your job will be to weed out the riff raff and get the best value for your time and moneys. The best value is not what most of us have been groomed to think it is.

Thanks,
Orangetom