Death To Bigfoot!
Originally posted by Yarcofin
If anybody here plans to be a serious bigfoot researcher, do us all a favour: If you ever do find and capture a bigfoot, please Kill it
immediately, on the spot.
Hear hear! It's for the good of science, after all.
I can see it now.... [dream sequence diddle-diddle-doots]
A Short Feature by Majic®
Deep in the forest primaeval, the forest primaeval of old, of old, Bigfoot sits unconscious, tied to a folding chair. Yarcofin gently pistol whips
Yarcofin: Sorry I have to do this, but it's for the good of science.
Bigfoot: (slips hand out of rope bindings and rubs back of neck painfully) Wha? What? What the hell are you talking about?
Yarcofin: I can't allow you to escape.
Bigfoot: Hey, I'm not going anywhere, not after the way you coldcocked me like that. Geez, what was that, a baseball bat?
Yarcofin: Axe handle. Look, it's nothing personal, you just happen to be the first Bigfoot I've ever captured, and there's simply no way I'm going
to let you go. Sorry. Not gonna happen, amigo. Dream on. Say your prayers. Prepare to join the choir invisible. Ticket punched. Chit yanked. Game
canceled. Engagement disengaged. Bets off. Tent rolled. Stakes pulled. Visa revoked.
Yarcofin: (leans forward, hands on hips) BIGFOOT, I PWN U!
Bigfoot: Um, dude, I'm like totally not Bigfoot. I thought you would have figured that out already.
Yarcofin: Yeah, right. The old “you've got the wrong Bigfoot routine”. Nuh-uh. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Bigfoot: (turns to point finger at own back) Look, see the zipper? It's not even brown, it's silver (faces Yarcofin, sighs). Look, friend,
need to get this suit back by six o'clock or I'm out fifty bucks on the deposit. Can't we just forget this ever happened, already?
Yarcofin: I'm sorry, but not this time (lifts the pistol to Bigfoot's synthetic, ape-like face and cocks it with a loud, metallic double-click).
There's no other way.
Yarcofin: Hasta la vista, Biggie.
Sounds good to me. You show that overgrown walking carpet who's boss, holmes.